How can i learn to except myself? i feel that i can't cope anymore?

Question

i've felt like a freak my whole life, i was treated differently , i,e bullied as a kid by both kids and adults because of my apperance, (my mum is half asian/half white, but looks white with a tan, my dad is white but maybe has some itialan in there down the line) i have a twin who turned out white, and my sisters white, yet i look full asian, jet black hair, darker skin than my family and different features, i always got things shouted at me like 'p**i' 'f off back to your own country' and told to 'stop stealing our jobs' , i've had this all my life and thought as i grew up i thought things wouldn't matter as much but now im in my tweenties and i don't think i can cope anymore, i don't know why i look the way i do and it maybe itwould bother me less if i was from a different country, but i'm not, my parents are not, the only person who was, was 1 grandparent, 3 are white british, so i'm 3/4 white, but i get treated like i don't belong here, every time i get a nasty comment shouted at me i just feel worse, since breaking up with my long term ex i just seem to be dealing with it worse and worse, i just seem to be self distructing, my confidence in myself has just completely gone, none of my family have had to cope with any of this so they can't relate to how i feel so i never talked about anything bothering and have i've always bottled things up and now i'm about ready to exsplode, i hate leaving the house other than to go to work, im sick of life and im scared of what i might do one day because i have such low days where i just cry and cry and just can't stop thinknig about what happens when you die

Answer 1

Honey - take yourself straight down to accident and emergency and tell them what you have written here. I have just been through the same thing ( still going hrough but not so bad now). I tried to cut my wrist - I still have the scar. I only stopped the knife going deeper because my two year old woke up and shouted me. I went to the GP the next day to tell them what I had done. She told me the next time I felt that I was going to do it, go straight to A and E which I did and it was the best move I ever made - I'm still getting help and getting better every day and am seeing life in light instead of darkness. Please don't do anything stupid and GO NOW! They are really understanding and supportive x*x Good luck - let me know how you get on xxxx

Answer 2

dont let other people bring you down on the way you look, i fully understand you. take all those insults and make them help you build up confidence who cares what other people think, the ones that love you love you for who you really are no matter what. and you should vent out those feelings cause keeping things bottled up isn't healthy. but yea don't let other peoples comments bring you down like that. people in this world are so cruel but you have to deal with it and just use it up as motivation. you don't need to satisfy people and their mind of a picture perfect person.

Answer 3

It is awful that you have had to endure racial taunts and unfortunately this is all too common.You sound really sad and mad and it would be really good for you to talk to a professional counseller about your feelings and experiences.This person will be able to help you sort through what you are going through  find ways to build your self confidence and insight.A referral from a doctor could be your next best step.Take the first step and reach out for help.

Answer 4

Sorry for the ignorance you have suffered, talk to the people in your family although you think they can't relate they are your family and will understand, if you really feel you can't talk to them how about a close friend or doctor? If you feel you can't talk to someone face to face try samaritans where you can talk all you want to and be anonymous at the same time, hope this helps.. :)

You are who you are and should stand proud and ignore such judgemental a******s :)

Answer 5

Because being white would make your life so much easier?

Toughen up.  

Answer 6

Just try to keep in mind that no one is perfect. Try to find a good support system on-line or in person. Try to feel better because you are are going to have to so that you will be ok for yourself. Remember that people are just cruel sometimes. You cannot change how mean other people are. You are just going to have to be good to who is good to you and who is mean to you then you will need to stay away from those people. Don't worry to much about what they think because in the end it is not them that you will have to answer to anyway. But also try to search out the good people and stay around them. People that are positive and make you feel loved is a good thing. When people make fun of other people it shows how stupid that they really are so just know that these people that make fun of you.They are stupid. You need to pray for them so that they can be healed. Also remember that God knows all and he see all to. So be glad to know that one day your lord God will come back so that you will be the leader over these people who have mistreated you and they will see. And they will know that God is Lord. And they will probally wish that they had of treated you and many other people a lot better in their lives on this earth. So be happy and smile, because you will inherit the earth. Have a blessed day.