How can i love someone so much that it hurts and he says he loves me the same?

Question

i hope that this makes sense, cuz my brain is still fuzzy...

Answer 1

People show affection in different ways, maybe he feels that by telling you that he does care would make him look weak or maybe he is just trying to act like a big man.

I think he does care but just shows it in a way that you cant see it.

Talk to him about it.

Answer 2

it's either he cares but it been so long since he showed his feelings to you and feels awkward when the time comes to it, or either there somebody else.

Answer 3

I am sorry you are sad, I am not going to criticize because I understand how you feel.  A few things I heard you saying in your post:

1.  You walk away and expect him to chase you.  One thing I learned a very long time ago is that walking away can be a good thing and in anger they are not going to beg you to stay because they know you are coming back.  

2.  When he says he loves you and you ask him if he means it you are not showing him love either.  After 16 years you are doubting his feelings and you are giving him no love in return.  He most likely feels the way you do with the questions and doubting his love probably makes him hurt and upset.

3.  When he was telling his friend to go after his girl you questioned him in front of others about what his choice would be.  Doing things like this in public are hurtful and only provoke anger.

You are feeling insecure in your relationship and you need to feel loved.  So does he only he shows his hurt in anger and you in your actions.  You are not communicating on each others level and that will drive you apart.  

There is a great book called the 5 love languages that my husband and I read and it has opened our eyes to different levels of feeling love and how to give each other this.  I recommend this for your situation as I see where this can help you and your husband too.  

Good Luck and keep your chin up.

Answer 4

some guys say things say lies to get what they want.  If you don't feel he doesn't care about you then he doesn't.

Answer 5

If he hasn't done it in all those years, he's not going to start.  Move away and brace yourself for the pain of separating from someone you have been painfully glued to for years.

Answer 6

Ya, you know my guy would always say that he loved me more than I do him and I DID everything for him...all the while he was out doing WHATEVER he pleased.  Well it's been about 4 years and just now I am realizing that he does care. He may be going to prison and now that he realizes that I am independent and that I could do things on my own he is very appreciative. Maybe your guy does care, but is not in a major life situation to show you right now.  Sometimes it seems like it has to come to that.

Answer 7

I think he lets his personal pride get in the way of doing what he knows he should do or wants to do.