How can i make my ex responsible for his daughter's actions and how they affect our daughter?

Question

Me and my ex have been seperated since daughter's birth. Dad is black, I am white. Dad and I just had a huge fight over where daughter is going to school. His older daughter (daughter's half sibling) keeps texting me saying im s******g up my daughter, and i really messed her (my daughter) up. We live an hour apart, he wanted to get custody of her, and have me see daughter every other weekend - I have had custody since daughter was born. How do i politely tell ex to tend to his daughter, and stop making accusations, and having her make my daughter feel bad about me, it has just gotten worse due to this latest event. His daughter is 18 -- and biracial, and says i have no right raising a biracial child because i don't know what Im doing... What would you do in this situation ?

Answer 1

Seriously, I agree with UK Oldie, thumbs up.

And to add to her post;

Don't give them any validity by even acknowledging their comments. Just don't reply to emails and such.

And as though an 18 year old has any place teling you how to raise your daughter. Ignore her text messages, to the point she won't even know if you got them.

Just ignore them and say I do not wish to discuss anything other then the next visitation if caught on the spot.

I know it is hard not to reply in your own defense but these poeple are beneath you and don't warrant any of your time or brain cycles.

Answer 2

You gave birth to your daughter so you have every right to raise her. Why do you keep having these discussions with a child (18 year old) who is not your child and is disrupting your household? Who is in control here? It looks like the ex and his teenage daughter are.

Raising a biracial child may be a little different than if she were not, however parenting is trial and error as well and is something that every good parent struggles with. It sounds like the older biracial child has some hangups about race and what should or should not take place, and I understand her concern because that is her sister. However, she is not the one responsible for your child. You are. You need to make that clear to the ex and to his daughter. Tell them you understand they want to help, however if they have any negative comments to keep it to themselves. You don't want to limit contact, but if they continue to harass you, you will have to file a complaint with the police department. You have a record of the text messages from her cell phone.

As long as your daughter is safe, in good health, loved and happy, all their other comments can take a back seat.

Answer 3

I would really stop discussing these issues with them and probably change my phone number too! I would stay in my own world, love my child & care for her to the exclusion of all else.

She is yours, no-one else's! Cherish & love her as you do and try to keep a peaceful life for you both.

With very best wishes, UK.