How can i make people like me more?

Question

i'm starting a new sch term in september and i want a fresh start i fell out with alot of people last year and i don't not what i can do to stop falling out with people and i would also like to make a sturdy group of friends. i no i can't force people to like me obviously but every1 needs a friend and i would reli appriciate any advise you have to offer

w/b asap

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Answer 1

Not sure how old you are or where you live (your lang makes me think you're in the UK or maybe Australia or New Zealand?) so I can only tell you what I'd tell someone here in the US - hope some of the resources are available where you are!

First - go to meetup.com - you will find LOTS of groups of people in your area (ZIP code) and if you don't see one that you like, then you can create one for others to join.  That will be a way to meet some new faces and get a few acquaintances while you're looking for real friends.

You're new school term - is it college level or jr/sr high school?  If jr/sr high school - there are lots of clubs at most schools - you could just visit a couple of them and see who else goes there.  If you're still young, you need to be more careful about who you start to hang out with because you don't want to commit social suicide by hanging out with someone who's got more problems than you do (yes, I know this sounds cruel, but right now it sounds like you're starting from zero -- once you get your social footing, if you want to bring someone along on your coattails then go for it but at the beginning of the year it could be hard to get past).  If you're in college, you generally have less social scrutiny/pressure about who all of your friends are.  Also, when it comes to eating - when you are alone, go up to a table of one other person or may 3 or 4 other people and ask if you can join them (if you're not an American, this may sound strange but in the US we tend to keep our distance much more than other western cultures do) and then just make small talk (I hate small talk but you have to do it in today's society - if you're not good at it - watch or read the news and make a mental note of 5 things that happened recently so you'll be prepared to discuss something if there's an awkward silence or if you need to have an opening line).

Another great way to meet other people (regardless of your age) is to volunteer.  Hospitals, Senior Centers, Children's Hospitals, Homeless/ Battered Women's Shelters, Churches, the United Way, political campaigns, helping families of soldiers in the armed services "connect" electronically with their loved ones who are fighting, tutoring kids at the local library - there are LTOS of possibilities).  Generally speaking, people who volunteer tend to be more open about meeting/ getting to know new people and you'll know that you have common interests so there's a better chance that you'll be/ stay friends.

You could also think about getting a part time job - maybe working security for a local venue/stadium?  You'd get to see concerts for free or some sports stuff?  And when others hear that you "have an in" they'll be attracted to you - but the problem there is, there's a good chance that they won't be "friends" - but they will be contacts - and it might get you some invitiations to parties that you wouldn't have normally been invited to -- a good chance to meet more people!

Gosh - I'm sorry this got so long!  I hope that I gave you some good ideas and that you get a great fresh start!

Answer 2

  Why were you falling out with them?    Well stop that... maybe you should just be more open with people and not try to be the most popular one in the crowd.