Question:

How can i make this poem better?

by  |  earlier

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Anything will help! Thanks:)

The heart’s a beautiful thing

Filled with bliss, harmony and love

Such a delicate, and precious treasure

Which you should never let go of

But my heart was young and wild

and I carelessly gave it away

Without thinking of the consequences

Oh how severely I had to pay

The pain, the grief, the cries

was all that you left behind

Yet I still wanted you back

Thinking now, love is truly blind

Oh what a ride it was

But I’m through with all that you’ve done

So you can leave now in peace

Because no longer are you welcome

So goodbye for now and ever

To me, you vanished into thin air

Goodbye to your every thought and feeling

What you do with your life I do not care

Goodbye to the laughs, goodbye to the cries

Goodbye to the stories, goodbye to the lies

Goodbye to the talks, Goodbye to the chats

Goodbye to the past…

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  1. Oh what a ride it was

    But I’m through with all [that] you’ve done

    So you can -now- leave in peace

    Because no longer are you welcome

    I'd get rid of the word "that" and move the word "now" before leave.

    Just suggestions, you don't have to =) I love it, it's a beautiful poem about something many many people have experienced.

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