How can i say no without hurting him.?

Question

My ex-husband and father to my children rang me today and asked if we could try and have a go at our relationship...

we have both been in relationships since each other..

he has two children to another women...

we got divorced last month ..

we've been separated for 10 years..

but we do have a seven year old son together...

we we're just a bit lonesome the night he was conceived.

and now after all this time he wants to give it another go...

we have been great friends since our separation we separated on good terms ...

we have spoken to each other about our own relationship problems with others and now i don't want to give it another go cause we might not be happy together...

i think it's cause i've always been there for him when he's had problems...

any advice would be appriciated..

Answer 1

Speak your mind.  it's better for him to know now than for you to lead him on.

Answer 2

HONEY,,IF I WERE YOU I WOULD JUST BE HONEST WITH HIM,TELL HIM HOW YOU REALLY FEEL,,CAUSE ANYWAY U TELL HIM,,,IT WILL HURT HIM,,,BUT HE WILL GET OVER IT,,,BUT IF YOU DONT HE WILL THINK,,U LIKE HIM JUST AS MUCH AS HE LIKES U,,AND HE PROB COULD B JUST LONELY,,,AND HE NEEDS THE CHANCE TO FIND THAT ONE SPECIAL WOMAN,,WHO WILLL LOVE JUST HIM,,N U CAN GIVE HIM THAT CHANCE,,,N U N HIM,,,WILL STILL B FRIENDS,,,,PEACE

Answer 3

It's hard for me to speak with no experience however it's more of a question as to how your relationship may turn out if you do decide to give it another go. The best thing one can possibly do is think of the child's future (however not disregarding your own). Relationships that do not work well hurts the child's development as well as your own to cope with regret of accepting him back or any other unresolved issues.

If you do not believe you will be happy, do NOT go for another shot.

Answer 4

first be sure that you make up your mind professionally.

rejecting his request doesn’t mean you should say "NO".

say it professionally. i really appreciate and understand your request but i am not ready....i think the current situation is better for both of us...i want to focus on .....etc.