How can i spot a child molester?

Question

my friend ("Nancy") met a guy ("Fred") on a phone-dating line. he does not have any kids & is in his 40s. Nancy has a daughter who is 8yrs old but does not live w/her. Nancy hardly ever sees her daughter. Nancy took Fred 2meet her daughter (@ Freds request) only after 1week of no-ing him. they went 2the park +all Fred did was take pics+video of there day @ the park. Fred asked nancy 2invite me +my son+nephew 2the zoo (where all he did was take pics of the kids) he again asked 2take kids somewhere--we went 2the Children museaum-he kept takn pics of the kids all day +didnt even seem 2have interest in Nancy. He has already askd Nancy if we can all go to the Science Center w/kids next week-it seems all he wants 2do is somethin w/the kids, he also made mention to Nancy that he would watch the kids @kennywood so we can go on rides ourselves. It seems really odd that he always wants 2do sumthn w/the kids. Does this sound normal to you or does he seem like a child predator.

Answer 1

I agree with you.    It can be difficult to spot a child molester/s*x offender, because "they look just like everyone else."  But one of the signs that they may fall into this category is wanting to spend more time socializing with children than with adults.   If I were Nancy, I'd check to see if he was registered on your state's "Megan's Law" website.   Even if he's not, I'd think twice before allowing my children to be around him.

Answer 2

He's either a child predator or not very smart because no man in his right man would behave in a way that make others feel like he's a pedophile! A decent man wants to get to know the mom first, and on HER terms waits to be introduced to the kids.

The word pedophile means "lover of children." Do a bit of reading about the profile of one. They are usually over 30, have a kink of some sort (spanking, BDSM) and are too effusive about their love for children. Many are bus drivers or work in another setting with easy access to children.

The best thing to do is go with your gut. You can never be too careful when it comes to kids. If you feel like this man is suspicious, speak up. If he's innocent, fine, he's a man and he'll get over it. Kids who are molested will never recover.

Answer 3

I'd certainly be keeping an eye on him.  You should check to see if he's a registered s*x offender, because if he is, then he shouldn't be allowed anywhere near any kids at all.  Definitely avoid leaving any kids with him for any length of time.  If you know anyone that works for a police department, see if they could check him out.  You can also go online at http://www.familywatchdog.us/  and see if you can find him on there.

Answer 4

Id trust your gut. If you feel something is off about this guy Id go with it... "Women's Intuition". You have to get your sister to see what you see. Have Nancy tell him she wants it to be just her and him and see if he still even wants to hang out with her. Tell her how you notice he barely pays attention to her and seems way more into the kids.  Id definitely keep my kids away from this man. And taking pictures and video's is NOT ok with me. Its Not normal. Try going to one (or a few) of the websites where child s*x offenders have to register and look him up. If he is I doubt he even told your sister his real name. Look at the pics. I dont know I would just try to convince your sister to get over him.... If its a new relationship it is much easier to move on and find someone whos not Creepy. Good Luck!!!

Answer 5

Sounds fishy to me..........but don't know this person.  If you don't feel comfortable, stop going when he is around.

Answer 6

It does sound weird and I would definitely keep a close eye on the kids if you are to continue seeing him. Have you talked to 'Nancy' about this?? Surely she has noticed? Since he is a relatively new friend it would be quite easy to stop being friends - even if you do it slowly it's better than nothing.

He may just be a lonely man perhaps suffering from Empty-Nest Syndrome despite the fact he has no children himself.

But it would be more wise to assume the worst just in case and to keep your children safe. Hope that helps.

Answer 7

Kimberly

This seems a little off color to me....

If somebody is a child molester and is in his 40s...he's probably got a record.  Call the police and see if they have anything on him.

Answer 8

he might love kids with him not having any but also he could be perving on them my fiancee did not have children but his brothers and sisters have i was with him ages before i even let him talk to my son on the phone we are now having a baby and he is over the moon i think it's a bit wierd that he is filming them so soon that would worry me and i would never let a man meet my kids only after a week i have been with my fiancee 3 years and he only met my son last year.

Answer 9

If someone I barely knew was volunteering out of the blue to watch my kids, I'd turn them down.  It certainly sounds odd.  I'd go with your instincts and stay away, and at the very least keep a close eye when you're together.  Certainly don't leave the kids with him at all when you're not there.  Maybe even make some comment that your kids don't like having their pictures taken and ask him not to.

Answer 10

well one way to know about the pictures is to find out if he is into photography. my friend had a boyfriend the same way, we kind of thought was a little off, he was a little younger. however, when we went to his home one evening, he had a darkroom and all. he was always taking tasteful pictures of course and they looked great. found out it was his minor in college, a hobby. HOWEVER, i never would have left my kids alone with him, because i didn't know him period. i am very outspoken though, so by now, i would have questioned him if i were nancy, especiallybecuase of my daughter( y no kids, y all the pictures, y babysitting offers???). for your sake, if you don't feel comfortable around him, you need to trust your instincts. thats what they are for! they may be unfounded, but it is better to be safe than sorry. i would watch closely if you continue to be around him. i like to give people the benifit of the doubt first, but be careful in the process!!

Answer 11

Red flags are going off all over the place in my opinion. Keep your kids away from him. And Nancy's daughter as well. I am sorry but your friend does not sound to bright, these are all the warnings they give about meeting people on Internet/phone dating situations almost step by step.

Answer 12

I'm torn between two of the answers here, Adele mentioned that since he dosen't have any of his own, he might enjoy spending time withy them. He may feel like he "missed out" but, on the other hand, my gut would be to agree with momof4 (her answers are always pretty logical) I wouldn't allow someone I barely know to look after them. See if your State has a s*x offender database website. Look him up. Because here in Ohio, if one has been registered as a s*x offender, they ARE in that database.