How can i stop being Jealous of my Partner?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 1/2 years. we're both in our 20's.

Recently he went away to the Reading Festival for a stag do weekend and i didnt talk talk to him for 5 days. when he got back yesterday i called him, and asked him how it went, and he said 'yea it was great'... i instantly got so so so jealous of him. as i always am. for him to say something was 'great' it mustve been brilliant.

all i thought was, great, he's probably had the best time of his life, and i wasnt there to enjoy it with him. i know he got absoulutly slaughtered every day, and i obviously know that there would have been other girls around.

thing is, me and my girl mates would never so the things he and his mates do, because theyre all really close, and me and my girl mates arnt at all...

i really wanted to go with him this year, but i didnt , and i knwo im gonna hear all these stories of how great it was and how much fun he had...

i just wish i couldve gone - but all the girls were 'banned', being it a stag weekend.

things like this always happen with me... i want to do the things like he does , but with my girl mates, but theyre just not into that kinda thing... im so jealous that he can have such great times with his blokey mates , and im left on the side line with things like that..

grrr i hate myself for it , because he really has deserved a good time away , but i just worry he's gonna come back to me, and tell me about this amazing time he had, and im gunna have nothing but boring things to say in return...

how can i stop feeling jealous of him all the time... i hate feeling like this......

please help... i dont want to feel like im beign left out all the time... :(

Answer 1

I don't think it is jealousy really.  I think it is righteous anger at the discrepancy between men and women and the expectations placed upon women and the lack of it upon men.  I won't rant on, but maybe for equality sake you should look for mates that will want to go to festivals with you and start buy getting a tent etc.

Answer 2

Reading isn't the only fun thing this year! Book tickets to a concert or similar...I'm going to the Astoria to see Dragonforce soon...you MUST learn to be happy he's happy, and also realise that he is with you because he wants to be...for goodness sake, don't make him rethink by dwelling on what you've missed out on: be thankful he's back safe and make plans which include you, now...move on!

Answer 3

Sure, when I was at your age I was jealous for many things like that as well... yes, it is jealousy...

We shave the best intentions and suddenly when we realize that our guy did have a great time without us by his side we start to feel insecure about ourselves and the relationship which bounds us in general.

I guess it is because women and men think quiet different about this issue.

Women tend to think that being in a serious relationship means to convert into Siamese twins… and men think that there is no need for this.

I think that everybody is a singular person, and a couple consists of 2 persons. Trying to be together 24 hours a day sounds quiet odd.

Why don´t you start to do things on your own as well?

Start with new activities with your friends. I mean your boy friend would be welcomed to share some day if he wants do, but it should be no obligation.

Anyway, if you wish to have a nice weekend away from all the routine together with him there are many different things you could do together… just buy a cheap flight to some nice place, make an on-line hotel booking and enjoy – you don´t really have to wait for special events to come up to enjoy a great weekend together. You should have enough initiative to make any day a special event.

And by the way, as soon as you find out that you can enjoy life with other people as well your jealousy will disappear.

All the best.  

Answer 4

OK firstly you can't blame him for having good friends or for your friends being less than close. You must be able to think of at least one of your friends who you can have a really good laugh with? You should organise a weekend away for you and your fella, with his mates and their girlfriends. Also, suggest doing things that you and your partner both enjoy together.

You shouldn't be jealous of him for building good memories with his friends and you shouldn't expect him to entertain you all the time. You need to make your own fun, with him ofcourse and without him, with your friends. So what if you have a different kind of relationship with your friends than he does with his..... they are blokes, they are a totally different breed altogether and in my experience us girlies always have more fun than the stupid blokes I know. Maybe organise an Ann Sommers party, get the girls round, have a few cocktails. Everyone will soon let their hair down. Or maybe go out fancy dress a few times with different themes. Something I want to organise for me and my mates is a sleepover, I am 23 and have 2 children btw, but I must have been 15 the last time I did it, get some tkaway and munchies, a few beers and a movie. Duvets on the sofa, mud packs on and a d**n good gossip til the early hours. There are all kinds of activities that will build a bond between you and your "girlfriends". Good luck man, go out and let your own hair down! xx  

Answer 5

first, try to get real close friends. my guess is that you prefer spending time with your partner than with the "girls" and so you never get close to anyone because u don't want to cut-off your time with him. well sweetie, guess what? he has a life.. and you don't. maybe you should start yours. you're in your 20's and you're already with him for 5 years.. it's not very difficult to  imagine your social life...

bottom line, you're jealous because you're too lazy to do something.

Answer 6

go to your own festival with your m8s and then you can both swap stories.