How can i stop bullying of my 12 year old daughter?

Question

my daughter is 12 years old, and we live in a very small community. we moved here about 2years ago, and ever since we did she has been bullied and harrassed by one certain girl. she has made my daughters life h**l. this last summer she made friends with a new girl,and were always togather. now school has started and (bully) has turned her friend against her. they are texting her telling her she has no friends and should move away because nobody likes her. and other terrible things. what do i do? i feel so helpless. the bully is in a family with a mom and dad, and they have alot, were i am a single mom, just trying to get by. the bully is also very popular(cheerleader). what can i do to help my daughter?

Answer 1

I suggest that the most you can do is speak with the other girls parents and state that you wish for them to speak to their daughter. If they get huffy, tell them if it continues that you will take the harassing text messages to the police station to file a report and that if your daughter is physically abuse that you will take her straight to the police. Also you may want to get her psychological counseling so that if they start to affect her you have a) proof for court if you need it and B) you will have a heads up if she becomes suicidal. Take her to self defence and something that will build her confidence so that she doesn't feel so vulnerable. Also just sit and talk to her let her know shes got 5 more years and she can move on with her life its 5 years out of 80 years.

Let your daughter sort out the girl at school. other than speaking to the parents don't get involved its her problem to sort out you've done all a parent can do. stand by her and let her know you are always their to defend her. don't let her run away because otherwise she will run every time things get hard.

if your religious just tell her god doesn't throw anything at us that he doesn't thing we can handle.

get her to talk to a councilor and build up some skills in confrontation and in socialising and self confidence.

Answer 2

Tell her not to let those kind of things get her down. She needs to learn that not everyone in life is as giving and nice as a parent. Get her involved in athletics, let her join a club of sorts or someplace where there are other girls she doesn't know so she can make new friends.  

Answer 3

I would first talk to the school and see what they can do about this.

With all of the troubles at schools lately, they may have a way to deal with this situation. Perhaps they can arrange for the girls parents to meet with you and have a face off.

Get your daughter into some sort of positive activity that will make her feel better about things.

If all else fails, which I hope not, I might be tempted to get a couple of 14 year olds to beat the bully up.Don't really recommend that but I know how much a bully can make your girls life hard.

I would also not let her read any more nasty text-messages even if you have to take her phone away for a bit.

Answer 4

First, you need to understand the mentality at work here.

A bully is a coward and usually very unhappy with herself.

She pulls other people down to her level because she cannot rise to theirs.

So it's likely that this girl is either jealous of how self-assured your daughter is or she's just decided to torture her to make herself seem superior.

The way to stop a bully is to give them a bloody nose.  In this case, it's to report the activity to the school and police.

Text messages are traceable, because they're sent to phone numbers.  Call your cell phone provider, speak to the security department, report the behaviour and ask for a trace of the messages.

The cell phone provider can cut off the girl's phone if the behaviour continues.

Report this to the school authorities.  Bye-Bye cheerleading position.

Report it to the police.  In many states, cyber-bullying is illegal.  The police can be very effective at explaining the punishments for harassment and assault to a 12 year old girl.

And do all of this at once.  Send a message to the little twerp that you can and will drop a building on her if she doesn't knock it off.

That should serve notice on everybody else in the area that your daughter is off the list of potential victims as well.

Answer 5

I'm sorry I don't have an answer for you, but I just wanted to let you know that you are an amazing and caring mother who should be proud of herself.

In this situation it may seem like running away is the only solution, but I think you should teach your daughter how to stand up for herself, without playing dirty, which I know can be difficult, but in the end she'll be more content with no regrets.

Good Luck.  

Answer 6

Talk to the girls parents and tell them or talk to her yourself

Answer 7

omg thts TERRIBLEE whatever u do dont tell te bullies PARENTS OR ELSE THEY WILL TORTURE HER MORE! honestly pull her out of tht skool and take her to a new one around your area and maybe one with UNIFORMS so theres no oh u wear this everyday blah blah blah  

Answer 8

The school should not be allowing this if they know about it.

I work in an elementary school and bullying has been a huge focus of our district. There is 0 tolerance for it. You should contact the principal with documentation on the bullying, and the girl that's bullying your daughter should be called into the principal's office and disciplined. You could be suspended at the school I work at for this type of behavior. The principal should also meet with you and your daughter and then the principal should contact the girl's parents and call them in for a meeting with their daughter, and then possibly a meeting with all the parents and girls together. Do not let the principal make you feel like this is petty. Demand that he/she meet with you and your daughter.  

Answer 9

If they are texting bad things do not delete those texts, you may have a legal case on grounds of harassment. I would as least make out a police report.