How can i stop caring what people think?????????????

Question

the recent 2 years i been caring what people think so much its making me go insane. i even care what complete strangers think that i will probably never see again it's so stupid. and i cant just stop thinking like this it is like engraved in my mind. i have alot of free time and i always read stuff on the internet and i noticed how alot people care about what other people think. so i started think what if i was like that and worried about it so muich that i actually cared about what people think. now it's my mindset to think this and i cant get out. how can i stop??????????

p.s i have no signs of depression or no mental illness i been to a shrink already

Answer 1

most people are thinking about themselves anyway, not you. they are thinking about what to have for dinner, or an argument they had with their wife, or the bills they need to pay. That kind of thing. Really. And, now this is important, do they care what you think? Most of them don't give it a thought so its totally unnecessary for you to care what they think. Maybe you have too much free time and should fill it with something less disturbing to you like writing a book, planning a garden, planning a remodel of your home, figuring out a business you can start, etc etc. I wish you good luck and hope you can stop giving other people power over your happiness.  

Answer 2

This just sounds like a case of low self-esteem. I hate to tell you, but you are always going to worry a teensy tiny bit about what other people think. Society has trained you to be that way. =(

BUT it doesn't have to control you. It's OKAY to worry about what other people think. It's only NOT okay if it actually impacts what you do and who you are.

I have found that ACTING like you don't care kind of helps with self confidence. The truth is, most people are insecure, at least a little, on the inside. The trick is to ACT like you are confident. Pretty soon, you will realize that you actually ARE a little more sure of yourself. It takes TIME to build it up, and you're still going to think about others' opinions, but that's really just FINE. Again, just don't let it control you.

Hope this helps! Just know you aren't alone...maybe some day we can both look at ourselves and say, "Yeah...I'm pretty cool." =) Until then my friend!

Answer 3

If your comfortable with yourself, then that's all that matters. Don't let peoples opinions tear you down.

Answer 4

Focus on remembering that you cannot control what people think. When you believe that you know what someone else is thinking, turn it around and stop projecting your thoughts onto them.

This is what we do with people in our lives, we use them as mirrors for our own thoughts and beliefs. So, when you find yourself saying "That person thinks I'm fat/stupid/clumsy/impolite/whatever," replace his or her name with your own.

There's a fantastic web site that helps you overcome this kind of mental self-abuse:

Answer 5

You really can't just stop feeling that way. It was a long process for me but I was also verbally abused as a child which made the condition even worse. It started feeling that way when I was a teenager and now I'm 27 and finally live my life the way I want to instead of worrying about the rest of the world. I think as I got older I started to realize how badly it felt to have spent so much time living for everyone but myself. I started caring less about what anyone thought and started caring more about what made me happy. It got a lot better over time and now I live by this: If you don't like me for who I am or what I do, you're not a person I need in my life anyway.

Hopefully in your case the need to live for yourself will become more important than living for other people. Also, you said you've been to a shrink but did you stay with it or blow it off after a few times? A lot of therapists specialize in social anxieties and issues with self-esteem. It wouldn't hurt to try again, you know? There may be underlying issues you aren't even consciously aware of keeping you from living your life. If that's the case, you are going to need some help. It's not easy to try to deal with it on your own.  

Answer 6

Sounds like you may have low self esteem. It doesn't matter what others think about it, it matters what YOU think.  

Answer 7

Usually when I find that I starting caring too much about what people think about me, I feel guilty over something.  For example, lately I've gained weight, so I've been super self-conscious over my looks.  In other cases, I have a degree and a license to teach, but I haven't found a teaching job yet, partially because I haven't put in as much effort as I could, and again that sparks those types of feelings.

In short, maybe you feel like something is amiss in your life, something that you can change.  If so, do a little soul searching to figure that out.  Remember, you are ultimately responsible for yourself, and no one else matters.

Answer 8

1. Climb a mountain. Really. To find out how small and insignificant we are.

2. No one is watching. Your self conscious radar is on high. Turn the radar towards others.

3. Fear, anticipation of ridicule and embarrassment is the driving power behind the anxiety.

4. Kill the cynic. The world is full of too many cynics. Compliment yourself on accomplishments and learn to compliment others regularly.

5. Try the ninja trick. If you are feeling self conscious and it is bothering you, then visualize yourself as invisible as you walk. This really works. No one will see you.

Wikipedia:  Egocentric, Vanity, Humility, Self Absorption, Maturity, Anxiety, Fear, Compulsive Behavior  

Answer 9

The only thing that is imp-ortant is how you feel about yourself; after all, you are the only one who can change how you feel, what others think about you is less important.

Answer 10

You need to find your individuality and then hang out with people who are like you.  Then you are yourself and you understand that you are accepted and that will make you stop caring about what others think.  After that you can think about being with people who are different from you.