How can i stop mum From taking oover Romeos training completly?

Question

I have a 13.3 dominant gelding, and im trying work with him on my own, without all thses other people interfering. i wanna do things my own way, but mum is pressuring me into doing things other peoples ways. she wont let me try it on my own. she wnats to move him to another paddock so that ill be closer to other people who can help me, but i dont want to, because they will interfere and it will make it seem like he isnt my horse if other people make me do things the way that i dont want to. how can i win mum over and not have to move him, and how can i stop her interfering? i will want her help sometimes, but i dont want her to take his training over completely.how can i stop her interfering?

Answer 1

My mom has a tendancy to sometimes try to get into my training as well, but she's just trying to help. My mother and I have a great relationship, so I tell her that I need to learn things on my own and ask for her advice at night, not when I'm training the horse.

I'd definately ask her if you can try things your way and explain why you're doing it. For example, if you decide you're going to use a whip for a certain thing, explain why it will help and say "So, I've decided to do -blah- because it'll help him by -blah-" Then, when she says she wants to move him to other people, sit down and have a conversation with her at home, away from the horse and situation

Tell her you really want thise horse to be "yours" and that if you begin to lose control of the situation you'll immediately seek help from anyone. At night, look up some training things with your mother and say "i'm thinking about doing -this- with my horse". Just tell her how you know someday you'll want to be training horses alone, you've been researching and go for it. :)

I started out when I was 7 riding a horse, then we made a "mistake" of buying a 5 month old when I was 9. I trained a quarter horse green horse when I was 9->13. I did ALL of the work with her and amazingly it paid off. Do alot of ground work first, and if you need any help feel free to email me, I've learned a lot about natural horsemanship.

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Just ask other people for advice, don't let them watch you with your horse, but just ask for advice. I'd defiately not let anyone touch your horses, no one rides my horses unless they're just "Trying them out" when I get lessons on horseback - trainers don't ride my horses, I don't let them. The only time I do let the trainers ride the horse is when I'm having problems with something and I know they don't understand how difficult my horse is to ride, then I let them so they gain abetter appreciation for me.

It's your horse, explain that you want to learn how to properly ride and train him and that you'll ask for any help :)

Research any problems, and email me if you need to, I'll do everything I can to help you.

Answer 2

Just say, right there, "Mom. I'm just trying to do things my own way, ok? I am capable of training him, but not when other people interfere. Please, I can train him on my own. Thanks for helping me, but I don't need constant help. Thanks, but no thanks." At least, that's what I would do.

Answer 3

Since you say he is "dominant" that makes me think that your mum is simply worried about your safety around this pony.  I can really see both sides, since I was once a young kid who rode/trained some pretty rotten ponies on my own, but now I am a mother to a 7 year old rider, so have that motherly worry thing going on, too.

Moving him might not be a bad idea.  You can decline training help from the other people, but they will be nearby and able to get help if you are hurt or in serious trouble.  You will probably have to compromise with your mother, giving in on at least one thing to be able to do what you want, and this one sounds like a good one to give in on.  Tell her you'll move him for safety's sake, but that you would like to continue training him on your own as long as you are making progress.  Say you would like to hear her and others' ideas, but that in the end, you will consider other people's opinions, and then decide what you think will work best for you and the pony.  Keep her in the loop.  Shutting her out will probably make her feel the need to be more controlling than ever.

Good luck!

Answer 4

Since your gelding is 13.3, I'm guessing you're still a kid, young teenager at the oldest, and my answer (speaking from experience) is that you dont.  Unless you're a trainer, and have decades of experience with horses, you're going to make mistakes, and even trainers are not infalliable, and with a dominant pony, mistakes can quickly turn in to dangerous habits.  One way to make him seem more like your horse when people are helping, is to have them tell you what to do, and not do it for you (that's also better for establishing your dominance).  

However, with a dominant horse, you need help, as a kid, you can't do this on your own!  What  can seem like a small annoyane (eg. leaning his soulder against you while you're standing next to him) can very quickly turn in to a dangerous display of dominance (eg. shouldering you out of the way, running you over, charging, etc.).  The best trainers and riders learn by taking lessons and getting advice, not by assuming that they know better.

Keep an open mind about what people are trying to tell you, and you will most likely find yourself progressing much faster as a rider and a trainer, and you'll stay safer.  Also remember, that no matter how well intentioned, bad training, especialy in a dominant horse, is dangerous both to you and others, and often ruins the horse for life.  I'm sorry this is harsh, but please, don't let pride ruin a good horse, especialy since the one who'll pay for your pride is Romeo.

Answer 5

She's trying to help.  I read your other question and you obviously NEED help.  I would move him as it will probably help.  

Thank her for her help but tell her you want to do more yourself, and find a trainer.  Are you the one with the gelding you want to lease out or something?