How can i stop my mother from doing this??

Question

Okay so let's just say that she's always rushing me to do the house chores. Everyday i have to vacuum and mop the floors, dust everything and wash the dishes.

So alot of times my friends call and i want to talk to them but my mother just opens the door to my room and starts yelling and screaming at me to do the chores.

And i'm like OMG i'll do them later! I just want to talk to my friends and set up plans about where we're going out etc...

But apparently she doesn't care and she keeps yelling. Even when i slam the door on her she just comes back in 5 mins. and starts yelling again REAL LOUD.

And my room doesn't have a lock so she just comes in without knocking. And my parents won't let me get a lock either. It's embarrassing since my friends can hear her on the phone and she won't stop yelling either.

And it takes me a long time to do the chores so by the time i'm done, it'll be too late to call them. If i do the chores after talking (like usual) my mother will continue screaming at me. Help how can i stop her from doing this???

Answer 1

just  tell  here

Answer 2

Is there any way you can do some of the dusting while you are on the phone?

I'd also advise not slamming the door.  If she's already in a bad mood it's best not to escalate the tension.

EDIT: Poppy7 below me has a great idea.  I suggest having that ready for tomorrow and seeing what happens.

Answer 3

First of all, tell your Mom that you are about to lose respect for her.  If she doesn't care, then I don't know who we're dealing with here.  It was always my worst nightmare for my daughter to lose respect for me.  

Tell your Mom your dilemma:  That you would like to do the chores when SHE wants you to but then you will miss your social time with friends.  

One thing you could do:  Write up an agreement that you will do ALL the chores before you go to bed that night.  You sign it and she has it in her possession.  If you forget one time, it won't work.  But if she can get up in the morning and see that the chores are done each and every day, then she will begin to trust you.

Or another idea is to tell her you will do one chore per hour until they are all done.  That way you get some time iwth your friends, and she gets her chores done.

And btw, I think doing all that each and every day is a lot for a kid.  But then, maybe you are from a single-parent home and your Mom needs the help.

Well, I hope this helps you.  Good luck!

Answer 4

you vacuum, mop, dust and wash the dishes every day?

wow you are a little slave, arent you?

what the h**l does your mother do with herself if you do all the housework? lazy b*tch. i hate women, mothers specifically, who are like that. i hope when you get older (i dont know how old you are, but ihope under 16) that you stand up for yourself abit.

get a job and get out of that miserable house. seriously.  

Answer 5

Tell her how you feel pressured.

And you would like a little slack as your still a child/teenager.

Answer 6

Ok...first off I don't know how old you are.  You should sit down with your mother and talk to her when she is calm and ask to re evaluate your chores.

You are going to school and you need time to do school work and relax.  You can do chores and can you figure out what you need to do each day and how you can spread it out over the week so it is done to her liking.

I am a always a little leery of taking one side or the other when it comes to children complaining about parents making them do chores. Sometimes parents can seem unreasonable...but then we can find out you are not being honest and maybe you are malingering and trying to get out of doing what is asked of you...or taking hours to do dishes or vaccum or whatever.

Listen...I have a 5000 square foot house.  I have 16 rooms...four bathrooms and four bedrooms....and  I clean it myself.  I can do the whole house...vaccuming, floors, laundry , cleaning four bathrooms etc in four hours.  So what you have to do can be done in a lot less time than that.  IF you put your mind to it.   AND I AM 60 years old!  

You shouldn't have to have your mother ask you to do what you know is supposed to be done.  You should do it and do it right and as quickly as possible.  Slamming the door on her is not showing her respect and you should respect your mother !  She does everything for you and she does not deserve your behavior.  She should not yell either...but moms do that...especially if they are getting doors slammed in their face and showing disrespect.

You somewhere down the road have showed her she can't trust you...either by lying or irresponsibility, trying to get out of work etc.  This is YOUR fault if you are guilty of that.

Sorry if you are getting upset about this...but you are seeing YOUR side and YOUR world and not hers as a parent.  It is her job to make you responsible and that life is work and you do not have entitlement to things and life just because you are a child.    Today many adults have this sense of entitlement and think they can get away with a lot and everyone thinks they can play games and outsmart the system and lie by omission  of facts when you know your intentions are not honest!  Such as saying you will do things later and you don't.  

Growing up  is hard.  Being a parent is HARDER!    You can stop your mother from acting like she is by being a better child and doing what is asked of you and not complaining and putting it off and not slamming the door in her face or yelling at her.  

YOU need to grow up some...and that is why you are child...you have to learn that.

I know this isn't what you wanted to hear...but just by your own words...you are in the wrong......disrespectful and being a problem when you could cooperate and do what is expected of you.  She is your mother and not your friend.  She deserves more than you give her and I am sure if you show her you are becoming more responsible you will get some respect back.  NO parent worth their weight in gold is going to give you respect while you are being a brat and say it is ok.  YOU exacerbate the situation with your behavior.  It is her job to teach you responsibility and if others don't agree with that then they should run their house and let your mother raise you.  They don't know the situation they only know YOUR side and how you say it.  And the whole situation cannot be told in one brief paragraph!  

I am sure you are not missing out on much social activity.  During the school week you shouldn't be out doing that much anyways....that is for the weekend.

And people that call your mother a lazy ***** might not know she is working and maybe a single mother and has tons of other responsibilities and there is NOTHING wrong with you helping out.  NO one should call your mother names...and you should be defending her...but you are too busy being a kid and ranting about doing a little housework.

No one should judge your mother....they don't walk in her shoes and they don't know what she does and they don't live your life!  You OBVIOUSLY have enough time and access to a computer to tell the world how badly you have it and what a bad mother you have.  

You have a lot to learn honey....