How can i stop this fighting with my boyfriend?

Question

i get VERY jealous when my boyfriend is around other girls when I'm not there, or when he has LONG conversations with other girls and totally ignores me when I'm there too.me and him fight all the time because of this and me telling him not to be around girls when I'm not there.I'm and also afraid he is going to cheat on me. how can i stop this fighting so he stops getting mad at me for it?? please help

Answer 1

Is he someone who is "naturally flirtatious"?  Does he claim that he "gets along better with girls than guys"?  Many guys use these excuses for reasons why they spend so much time with other girls when they already have girlfriends.  Trust me, my boyfriend is like that too.  I don't know how much advice I can give since I struggle with jealous feelings sometimes too, but my best advice is to just confront him about it in a cool and collected way.  I've never suspected that my boyfriend would cheat on me, but I do get jealous when he establishes deeper-than-friendship connections with girls through long-conversations and spending lots of one-on-one time with his female friends.  

My mottos: Never accuse him of cheating.  Give him the benefit of the doubt.  Ask him to make sure the other girls know how much he cares about you.  Let him hang out with the girls but be there too so you can see how he interacts with them.  If he's not being flirtations but simply being friendly, he's not doing anything wrong.  (You can tell friendly from flirty if you imagine that the girl he was talking to was a guy and see if it seems natural, like straight from his type of personality.)

Reason with him, too, and tell him that his actions make you feel uncomfortable or insecure sometimes.  If he really cares about you, this should not anger him and he should be trying to make things better for you.  He should be willing to help or at least compromise.  If he gets defensive or turns things around on you, don't let yourself take all the blame.  His actions are obviously causing you to have doubts about his feelings for you in the relationship (otherwise you wouldn't feel threatened by the other girls).

I struggle with this all the time.  I guess I should be posting similar questions myself.  The bottom line is: if you think he is sincere about how he feels about you, trust him but also be honest with him.

Don't do anything he may not like just to get back at him.  It will give him a reason to turn things around and say that you do it too.  If you think you do anything that might make him feel jealous (like Facebook a guy friend constantly or hang out with other guys too much) try to stop doing those things, or at least reduce the frequency of how often you do those things, so that he can see how much you are willing to compromise/sacrifice for him.

Good luck!  I hope things turn out well between you two... fingers crossed! =)