How can i talk to my girlfriend about an abortion?

Question

I know this isn't the best way to go but it's an option at the very least. I'm 23 and she's 28. Yes, we both are old enough to handel this situation. However, I want to finish college and she wants to get her masters. We live together and she has an 8 year old from another marriage. We've almost broken up 3 or 4 times recently and she just found out that she is 2 weeks pregnant. We want a bigger house, be married, and have better jobs before we have a family. Now is just not the right time to start a family. Adoption is so hard just knowing that my kid is out there in the world so that's out for both of us. We're not sure if we want to marry each other or not. There's just so much going on right now. Can someone give me some good advice?

Answer 1

I am 23 yrs old...married with 4 kids..I had my first child at 17..

GOD does everything for a reason..

and if its not the right time for you..why dont you both consider ADOPTION?

there are plenty of loving couples who cant have babies..

NEXT TIME wrap it up...things like this happen all the time..

and make sure you get birth control...

abortion is not a form of birth control...

Answer 2

You are both (mature?) adults.  She's pregnant.  Why on earth do people think that NOW is the time to decide whether you want a child or not?  You made the decision when you had intercourse (with or without contraception).  You knew this could happen.  Be a decent human being and start preparing for your bundle of joy.  Give her away?  What?  Do you know how that can affect a person?  No abortion, No adoption.  Be a Mom and Dad.  You won't regret it.  You will probably regret either of those other choices.  You can still finish college and she can get her master's.  It might be a little more of a challenge, but so what.  Your future child will surely forgive you for not having a bigger house or a better job when she was born.  She'll just be glad she has such a great family and an older sibling who can teach her things and love her.  Don't send her to strangers.  Don't throw her away.  You can be a good parent.  You can be a happy family.  At least try.  It's not that hard.

Answer 3

If she agrees that neither of you are ready for a family, then you discuss adoption, not abortion.  Babies should never be punished for being concieved at the wrong time or for how they were conceived.

Adoption is the humane thing to do, obviously.  So you would have a child out there.  You can always opt for open adoption.  At least the child will have a life.

Fine, you used birth control supposedly.  However, everyone knows that it's not 100% effective.  This is why s*x isn't something to toy with, it's to be had between two mature and responsible adults who are solely committed to one another, and who will happily accept a pregnancy should it happen.

Answer 4

Kill the witness, - so you can live more conveniently.

And then live with yourself for the next 50 years.

PS. A scared and jaded heart is what you'll earn. It'll come back on you 10-fold. Is that the "better life" you want??

Answer 5

You should respect her decision, whatever she decides.

Answer 6

You play you pay. Why would you rather murder an innocent life that didnt ask to be made than to give the baby a shot at life with an adoptive family. If its not the right time for a family why didnt you use protection? Ignorance is no excuse. Can you stand before God and that baby on your judgement day and explain why you were so selfish you murdered that baby just so you could get some education? No matter if you abort the baby or not you two will always share a child, but if you go through with it you will be the murderer of your own child.

Answer 7

SSSOOOOOOOOO many people say that abortion is murder.

It is SUCH a tough call!!!!!!!!

I believe it is not fair that an innocent infant has no say in what is happening, but to me that is better that bringing a baby into a world where the parents will wish they are studying/travelling/partying instead of changing nappies and so forth.

And I agree that adoption will be very hard.

There are abortion councellors out there, I would recommend you both talk to one so that you are aware of the concequences of how you might both feel for the rest of your lives.

Good luck.

Answer 8

God does things for a reason.

stop being selfish and thinking bout yourself.

the child will be born alive or dead for a reason.

abortion is not an option. how can you kill your own blood?..

adoption is good ya know. some one else may be needing that child and your just throwing it away. many want kids and cant have their own, but having someone elses is a blessing.

adoption or you just learn from your own lesson.

God bless

i hope this helped

Answer 9

Sounds like you are suffering extreme nerves.  You certainly don't sound committed to the process of abortion in this instance although I can see you are trying to mull over all the options and the worst possible consequences of your gf's pregnancy.

Bearing in mind you are not 100% in favour of abortion, describing it as 'an option' then I think you should keep that opinion to yourself.  Your GF is obviously aware of abortion and she may have feelings that way herself, but if you are the one to suggest it to her you will damage your relationship for sure.

It is REALLY early days for you.  Hearing that a baby is on the way can be an immense shock.  There is a lot of ground to cover between a positive test and the birth of a baby.  What you need to do at the moment is to pay attention to your relationship and to talking about how you will face this and deal with it, together or separately.  The decision to continue or terminate the pregnancy can only be made by your GF but let her lead the choice and the discussion or else you will never be forgiven for clumsily exploring the options

Answer 10

Well its good to hear you dont want to talk her INTO an abortion, but is important for her to know its an option. Just sit down with her and go over all the options and see what she says when you say abortion. Personally, Abortion for me would be harder then ever when I know I could manage with the baby...I got preg with my son when I was 20 and I considered it..but I felt it would be selfish because I was capable of taking care of him. I wasnt like 14 or had no income. but whatever she chooses you need to make sure you back her up 100 percent. When you do talk about, it ok to tell her thats what you think would be best, but dont dwell on it. If she says she wants to keep it, drop it. Otherwise that will be something she will think about throughout her preg and after the baby is born...how you wanted to abort :( My hubby wanted to abort my son when we found out. Once I said, i didnt want to..he dropped it..but I still think about to this day.

Good luck :)

Answer 11

For two people that seem 'well educated' why didn't you use protection ...and two weeks pregnant how did she find that out ?

Answer 12

Abortion is MURDER.  I'm sure if your girlfriend already has an 8 year old then she won't even consider it!  Be responsible and take care of the child that you made...you're old enough...a baby shouldn't put a damper on your dreams..they actually make them better :)  Grow up and be a parent.

Answer 13

You can't stand knowing you have a LIVING child somewhere is the world, so KILLING the baby is a better option?  That's sick.  If you do indeed have faith in God, then you know how horrific abortion is.  The following site shows exactly what happens during an abortion.  Please look at it before deciding to kill your child.  www.prolife.com

Have you considered an open adoption so that you can see your child grow up without taking the responsibility of raising the baby yourself.  PLease, please, please, give the baby up for adoption!

Answer 14

You can say, I will support your decision to carry this baby to full term and help you along the way, however I am not ready to raise the baby so we should do the responsible thing and give him up for adoption to a loving family that will give him what he deserves, but do not even consider killing this child in the name of convenience, why make another bad decision that we will have to live with the rest of our lives.