How can i teach her wrong from right without being mean?

Question

i have a 1year old daughter that has started having tantrums if i tell her no. she no's what she can and can't touch but lately she has been pushing her boundaries, she will grin at me when i tell her no and do it anyway then when i pick her up to move away she screams and hits me. i have tried time out but she doesn't understand it and i hate leaving her to cry but don't want to let her get away with being naughty, ever since i have started to tell her no she seems to hate me she won't kiss or cuddle me and just looks at me with a nasty expression, she is fine with everyone else please help!!!

Answer 1

It has been a while since we had to do this, but I do remember exactly what you are talking about.  You have started off with the right idea, time outs will work, just don't forget that.  Because the child is so young, it might take more time for the idea to be learned.  Unfortunately, this means more time for you to feel like the mean parent.  If you let the little one win now, it will only make it that much more difficult as the child gets older.  Stick with it, and make sure to give positive attention when you get the reaction you want.  If the child gets more attention for something negative, they will do whatever gets them the most attention!  Just be consistent, and your little one will come around.  Hope this helps, and good luck!

Answer 2

This is the same advice I gave someone yesterday. It worked wonders with our daughter, now 17 months, but it takes persistence on your part. Babies and toddlers are smarter than we give them credit for. We budge once, and it's all ruined and they know it.

Swatting her butt is not going to do anything. At her age, she is very curious about the world around her and wants to explore. Much more effective, and it worked wonders with our daughter, now 17 months, was to remove her from the situation or object, in our case, the china cabinet (Not very easy to take away from her). We told her "If you can't stay away from here, you're going to time out." We gave her two warnings and if she went back a third time, she spent 2 minutes in the playpen or a crib behind a closed door.

After the two minutes, we went and got her, hugged her and said "You can't go in there. You could get hurt".

It took about a month, but it worked. Although we know at her age she didn't understand the concept of time outs, she did understand "When I go to the china cupboard, Mommy and Daddy put me in here, and I don't like this" and she stopped. She hasn't gone near the cupboard in almost 4 months.

Don't completely discourage her curiosity. That will eventually discourage her from wanting to and trying to learn new things. Encourage the good behaviours, praising her for doing good and not bad, and only discourage the "bad" behaviours, such as getting into things that could potentially hurt her.

She's not being naughty, she's being a normal, curious toddler.

Answer 3

Show her what she can play with and say "yes"

Sometimes kids just dont know what the right thing is.  Only the wrong things.   And thats no fun.  Think of it thru a babies eyes, lets say I have three toys, red, blue, and green, and tell you to pick one.  First you pick red, I say "no you cant have red"  Then you pick blue and I say, "no you cant have blue".  By the time you get to picking the green one, you may be fed up with me.

Answer 4

Tantrums are a way for children to get your attention, so the easiest way to get them to stop is to ignore them. When my son (now 2) had his tantrum phase, I would walk away, leave them room, or sit down with a book, like I didn't have a care in the world. Eventually, he stopped screaming. With kids, even though it's really hard to do, if you can stick with it, it only takes a couple times to break them of the habit, but if you cave in once, they remember that you will, and they will cry even longer the next time.

About time out, at this age they should be somewhere they can't just walk away from, and can't see you. You can put them in their crib, or what worked for me, the highchair and I turned it to face the wall. 2 or 3 minutes was the longest I ever put them in time out.

And, she doesn't hate you. She just doesn't understand yet why you are telling her no. I mean, do you remember being one and you mother telling you no? Of course you don't! So she isn't going to either. The easiest way to get over this resistance to kiss you, etc. is to overly praise what she does that is good. I tell my boys, "Yay! You did it!" and I clap when they do something good. Then I give them a hug. Now, when they do something good, they look at me and clap and are waiting for their hugs!

Hope this helps!

Answer 5

at this age it is important to distract her. Pick her up and give her a hug and say I'm sorry we can't do that right now and I love you. Then start a new activity that she will enjoy or give her something she hasn't played with for awhile. She thinks this "grin at me when I tell her no" is a no game. She is too little to be naughty. Stop using the word NO except for dangerous situations. Put up what she can't touch until she is older. She is too little for time out and too little for this daily struggle of wills.

I am a Mom of five.

Answer 6

I threw a tantrum once... once!  I got a spanking the first time and didn't have a second time.  Stop trying to make her think everything is positive and peachy all the time.  Kids need to know there are very negative consequences for the wrong behaviour before the discover the SUPER NEGATIVE consequences of it later on.