How can i tell her how angry i am?

Question

i brought my car about a year ago but have not yet passed my driving test. i knew my insurance would be about £1000 so i saved £1000 of my money and gave it to my my mum and dad to look after so i didnt spend it. i stopped my driviong lessons for a while and didnbt think anything more about the money. The 2 weeks ago i started up my driving lessons again and said to my mum 'where is that money?' she avoided the question for a while but then addmitted that she lent it to my dad (they had split up since i gave her the money) and that it had been spent, when i asked why they didnt ask me first she said we didnt think it would be a problem. When i asked her when i could get it back she basically said i dont know. i got angry at her but she tried to expain herself by saying she used it to pay the bills, i said i would have given it to her if she had asked but the fact she took my money without asking and spent it and now ill prob never get it back makes her a theif. she knows im angry but..

Answer 1

I understand your feelings but I'm just not sure continuing being angry will improve the situation. It will only keep you upset, damage your relationship with your parents and it certainly won't get you your car insurance money.

Maybe look at it like this: for starters, your parents have split up in the past year - that's sad for you but it's awful for them. They probably aren't thinking too straight and their daughter's car insurance may not seem like a priority right now. Put yourself in their shoes. Also think of all the money they've spent on taking care of you over the years - thousands and thousands. If your mum or dad used it to pay bills then it's not like they frittered it away.

The kindest, most grown-up thing you can do at present is to give your mum a hug and tell her you love her. Say you were cross about the money but you know it's not been easy for her and your sure she and your dad will repay you what they can when they can. Don't let money come between you and them. The money's really not important in the scheme of things but your relationship with them is.

Answer 2

That's not fair, you saved that money up & trusted your parents with it. It wasn't your mother's money to lend out. I can totally understand why you feel the way you do.

Your parents are suposed to be the two people in this world that you can trust, obviously in your case it's not true.

Your mother did steal the money, she took advantage of your trust & she should be made to pay it all back.

You could seek some legal advice via the C.A.B or via a solicitor  (if you are on a low wage you could qualify for legal aid ).

Good Luck hunni. X :-)

Answer 3

Your parents are TOTALLY in the wrong.  Being kind to them.....perhaps they thought they'd be able to pay the money back before you found out that it was even gone.  However, they shouldn't have borrowed it in the first place without discussing it with you first.  I'm glad they are willing to pay it back to you in monthly installments but I think they should start paying it to you right NOW.  There's no need to wait until after you pass your test.  Let THEM set up a direct debit to your bank account for a monthly sum that won't break them.  Hopefully, by the time you do pass your test you will have enough from them to pay towards perhaps a half-year's insurance. The sooner they start paying you off, the quicker the debt will be settled.  You are NOT behaving like a spoiled brat.  You are an adult talking to two other adults about a 0% loan.  If they would like to pay you back all at once they could get a bank loan and then they'd have to pay interest on the loan so, really, you are doing them a favour by allowing them to pay within their means.  Just get them to set up the direct debit, keep your eye on the repayments and then don't mention this loan again.  Mark it up to experience.  You now know they can't be trusted with your money so don't ever leave any with them again.  Set yourself up with yet another direct debit for a small amount to go into a savings account for future use.  Meanwhile, just be glad you have learned this rather sad lesson early in life.  It would be devastating if the money you'd given to them to hold was for a deposit on a house you wanted to buy.  Far more money lost and much more havoc caused.  At least you can pay your insurance in installments so financially you aren't ruined.  But they should start paying NOW.  Don't defer this.  Paying you back right away is their penance for borrowing/stealing from you.

Answer 4

You have every right to be very angry...what your mother did was wrong...as you say should have asked you in the first place...sadly there's not a lot you can do now...but be very sure you don't leave money with your parents again..it looks like you will just have to accept the offer of the direct debit..you need to talk to your dad about this as she gave it to him...between both of them you should get your money back ..one way or another.

Answer 5

That sucks :( that really really sucks. Sorry but all you can do is learn not to trust people with money, bank it. Ill tell you a story (haha) ok this guy was with his wife and the car broke down, he found out he had to pay heaps of money. He was gutted but no one could tell he was in this situation, so when they found out they asked in bewilderment "How are you so happy?". He said "Well, I can either be mopey and angry and attack everyone about it, or I can just let it be and move on, not let it get to me. Either way my car is broken and there's nothing I can do about it" I mean yeah, it sucks! Yeh, keep asking for it back but try to accept this has happened and move on (I know its easier said than done :) . Hope I helped

Answer 6

ha man leave it girls are always like that....