How can i tell my dad that i don't want to live with him anymore?

Question

I'm 14, live in Arizona, and want to live with my mom full time. I don't really feel at home when I'm at my dad's. I am always comfortable and happy with my mom. At my dad's there are 3 little brothers. I love them, but i really can't stand it anymore. There is always yelling, screaming and fighting. Not just them, but my dad also. I personally believe that the yelling and threats that my dad deals out are verbal abuse. My step mom just stands there/says the same sort of stuff as if shes trying to "impress" my dad. I don't have anything in common with any of them and I'm sick of having to go there half of every week. I was hoping for some advice as how to tell my dad the way i feel and how to deal with it all.

Thank You,

Answer 1

Say...dad I don t want to live with you anymore.

Answer 2

The best way is to let him read this yahoo question. That way he will see how you really feel. You wouldn't have to say anything!

Answer 3

Two years ago I told my dad I didn't want to live with him either. Just basically say "dad ive been thinking , and I want to live with mom." just explain to him why and if you want, you will still visit him every other weekend or every weekend. It would be a joint custody which is both your parents have custody, but you live with one full time.

hope everything works out.

message me if you need any more advice.

Answer 4

Talk to your mom about it first, and then make your plans known.  Your dad cannot force you to live there against your will. Of course he may not be happy especially if there is child support involved.  Perhaps you can just stay there like 1 week per month or make some other arrangement.  

Everything is negotiable.  



  

Answer 5

Childsupport

Answer 6

Well, I think I might be of some help. I haven't gone through this situation, althoughh my parents ARE divorced.

Have a small private chat with your dad. Away from your brothers and ect.

Tell him in a calm way that you think that you'd like to live with Mom. If he gets upset forget the whole thing until later. Try again. If nothing works, you could tell your Mom. If it comes to a worse solution and your dad gets abusive, you COULD get the court to make your dad give up custody to your Mom. Whether or not it would get that bad is in your hands. You have the choice to be calm or erratic.

Hope I helped.

Answer 7

Half a week.. that must be crazy switching between places. Say that it's stressful and you'd like to only come over on weekends. Play that card for awhile and then possibly change it to every other weekend. Tell him it's stressful switching in between one calm household to a crazy one, because it sounds like it is. Tell him something like you're afraid it's going to interfere with... maybe schoolwork in the long run.

Good luck!

Answer 8

Just be honest. Tell him you think that you will have an easier time living with your mother. If you are honest with him, he should appreciate it. I hope your mom is ok with you going there.  

Answer 9

Not sure what type of realationship you have with your dad, but if you have already told your mom about how you feel then see if the three of you can have a lunch or just go somewhere and talk tell how you feel. having your mom there would be great support. You should still go and see your dad, but just tell him how you feel and maybe explain to him that your older now and your needs are different and you need more time with  your mom. Don't go and talk with a attitude or anything like that and when you sit down for the talk, tell him everything I mean all your feelings because it is hard enough to speak up to your parents and explain how you feel so you kinda want to do it all in one shot. Make sure what you are about to tell him is what you really want because once something is said it can never be taken back.... I hope this all works out for you . Good luck and be honest with your feelings.

Answer 10

tell him you need a little more time away from your brothers and would like to stay with your mom a bit more. my friend has the same problem but with a nerdy 14 year old brother who won't leave her alone.

Answer 11

depending if u are a guy or (chick) your speech will vary. but here is the universal answer to your problems. tell him school work is bad enough as it is. you feel uncomfortable being there, when u do this make sure u have his full attention. let him know how u feel about ur step mom. tell him u love him but u feel better off at ur moms. let him know u will come visit every now and then.most of all when u break it to ur dad u gotta make sure he understands u. take a deep breath and be strong, dads always understand their kids when they talk 'serious'. if u really feel like u said u do. u will find this easy to be done. but remember always b serious and let him know that u love him and give him some time to think about it

Answer 12

Well sweety, try asking your mother to talk to him. But it may not be that easy depending on the custody that was set up. But if there is'nt any than just tell your mom you want to be with her, and see if she will help you talk to your dad.

Good luck!!!

Answer 13

Talk to your mother about it and just say that now that you are 14 you need to live in 1 place that it isn't fair that you have no permanent address

Your little brothers are they your half brothers and they get to stay in one home. Also now that you are 14 I think you can choose which parent you want to live with full time.

Answer 14

It's your will now that you are 14. However I am sure that your Dad loves you very much and that he will feel some sense of hurt and loss. There is no easy way but just to tell him honestly. You should still spend time with him regularly.

Answer 15

Ask to talk to your dad sometime while your step-mom and brothers aren't home, or when the house is quiet. Tell him very nicely everything you told us (a.k.a. yahoo answers) and stress how you really feel out of place when your at his house. Hopefully, he'll either make a good effort to change the situation. I would say give it about two weeks, before you tell your mom you want to live with her full-time. It will be hard at first to tell him, but if he really loves you, he'll understand. Good luck!

Answer 16

Talk to your mother about this issue, your biological mother.

You are not with the Right people even if they are

your family, you are you and take action to go live

with you mom where you were happy.  You are 14

but you have the Right as a person to live in a home

without being subjected to abuse or be used as a

punching bag verbally.

Answer 17

Just tell him what you have told us right now.  He should understand how you feel.  Good luck.

Answer 18

Tell your mother that your father is in a bad environment and you don't want to see him anymore. Only thing I can think of.

Answer 19

Oh I'm so sorry you are dealing with all that at age 14, that is hard & that is a big thing to bring up with your Dad, particularly if you think he might yell at you or something.   But you don't have to tell him yourself.  Why not ask another relative or your Mom to help you?  When you are at your Mom's why not tell her or another relative that you don't want to go back.  Then the next time you return to your Dad's it could be to go back with a relative to pick up your things.  This is hard for your Dad but he needs to take a look at his parenting skills & the way he is treating his kids.  In a way you are actually helping him by leaving as you are forcing him to look at something about himself that needs changing.

Just make sure that whoever explains it to your Dad points out that you love him & your brothers but you just want to visit every now & then & not actually live there anymore.  Or you could express all this in an email to your Dad while you are at your Mom's (or call him) & tell him you are just staying at Mom's from now on.  Then see how he reacts & take it from there.

Answer 20

i know how you feel i have 3 brothers myself they are great at times but then it would always be annoying when they fight...but then nothing ever happens there...its always fighting and all....tell him that you need your space and that you need to think things through. tell him that sometimes you miss your mom badly and you think that you need to have some quality time together..oh and tell him that you can always visit them during christmas or thanksgiving :) hopes for the best...