How can i trust girls again, this sounds so cliche I know?

Question

Just need some friendly advice. I seem to have a problem with dating or trying to date girls. Every girl I have tried to become friends with to date or just attempted to date has backstabbed me or worse. I am a college graduate in my mid twenties, fairly good looking according to most. I am happy person most of the time. I feel cursed although I don’t believe in superstitious stuff. Ill give a quick same rather than a long rant. Got rejected by 7 girls for HS prom 3 of which were close friends. Gave a female friend a flower on sweetest day only to have literally thrown in my face. Dated girls in college who backstabbed me for other friends. A former gf slept with a former best friend of mine on anniversary. Another girl promised me a date and to my embarrassment she never showed up, let alone called again. I sat alone at a restaurant. I still kept a good attitude. Yet lately a friend tried too hook me up with a girl and this one ditched me to go with a random guy she just met the day before and never called back. What is a guy to do. Im not overly dramatic despite what this sounds like, Im not all emotionally wrecked. I just wonder if its worth the effort. People tell me the right one will come along when its time but I have this growing resentment of women because of all this. This will sound stupid but is there any descent girls in Michigan or the world who are looking for a relationship? I keep getting heartbroken and backstabbed by every female I give a chance and I stop today to wonder : “are you women worth it?” if the bullshit myth of “soulmates” is actually truth, where is mine and will she find me before I completely shut my heart out. Its not that im depressed Im just at the point I don’t care anymore. Went to counseling and they said I was normal and sent me home. How do I trust girls again. Note: I don’t want to hear any religious or superstitious mumble jumbo not looking for pity answers either. Not concerned about the spelling as it is 222 am. I just want to know were I should look and how to build trust again. Everything else in life is just great. I ask this because a random girl asked me out on a date this coming weekend but Im not sure given my past with women that I should even trust her. been hurt too many times to care.

Answer 1

Just try dating the random girl that asked you out. If she asked you out them maybe she's interested in you. It's really up to you whether you want to trust girls again.  

Answer 2

I'm 32, I think I've found mine ... but some days I wonder "is it really him?".

Thing is, there is NOTHING wrong with you.  You just gotta push through the bull S... to get to the real stuff.  Perhaps it's where you're meeting them.  What you need to understand most is that it's not all women, seems that way, but trust me.  Heck if that was true I could say that no man is how you say you are ... you know?  I've looked and think I have found ... but not sure still (Perhaps you're my soul mate!? lol).  I think the moment you understand that she's out there, that's when you will find her, and it's a lame saying but it's true, she's out there and you will find her once you stop looking.  

Answer 3

Wow...you've had it terribly hard as far as relationships go and i'm sorry about that. It must horrible to be constantly let down; i don't blame you for feeling the way you do honestly. And it says a lot that you aren't way depressed, i know a ton of people would be if they went through what you did.

That being said...

I know it's hard to not give up...dating and relationships can lead you down the wrong path, everyones been there whether they want to admit it or not. But you can't give up on all girls, you have to keep giving them a chance. I can honestly say that there are same great, amazing, honest good girls out there...you just have to keep looking.

Love is something that can't be given up on, as in it's not possible. It's always going to be all around you, for the rest of your life...it's just something that's there. You can say "i'm done with this, i don't want it anymore" but you'll reach a day where you'll bump into a great girl and the rest is history. You just have to stay positive...i believe there's someone for everyone and you may not find her right away but she's out there.

As far getting back what you lost (trust and respect) it takes time, no doubt about it...but it's possible. Get to know girls, go for casual things at first; to build trust you have to be able to know a person...talk for a bit before the date to see what she's like. Not all girls are disappointments, i can promise you that one.

Best of luck :)

Answer 4

I feel for you dude because I too was in a similar situation, although it only happen once to me. That's why I am primarily focusing on getting my CS degree and putting girls on the side for the time being. I know that getting an education and having a relationship don't usually mix well together(although not necessarily true, but just for me) so this is one of the main reason why I've passed up on so many opportunities. Once you have a good paying job and your life is set for the future, girls will come flocking to you(that's what my parents always told me). You know what, I believed them.

About your situation. Since you mentioned that this last girl has asked you out(girls don't ask guys out unless they feel something special about the guys) so I think you might have something special going on there. Who knows, she might be the one girl you've been looking for all your life. Don't give up dude. Give her a chance and you might be surprise at how well it turn out. Eventually there will be a good apple among the rotten ones.