How can i word this, without sounding rude? (reguarding my sons first birthday) ?

Question

i am sending out invitations for his first birthday, just to family but i have around 30 family members living near by (in the same city as me) they will all attend, it just what we do, we celebrate together in masses..

and its NO big deal except that the week after my sons birthday party he's going in for a pretty major surgery, celft palate repair. and i am concerned about people who'er ill showing up. i concidered writing on the invitations that if you where ill please skip the event because if Owyn turns up sick at his pre op appointment the day before surgery it will be cancelled, which isn't SO bad except we've all planned our vacations around this date to be there for him.

but my MIL said that would be rude to write in the invitations, and that i should just mention the fact that Owyn has surgery the week after his party..

I am beginning to wonder if he should even HAVE a party.. why take the risk, right? but my husband is pretty uphappy with the thought of him not getting a party, i mentioned that we could do the party 2-3 weeks after surgery, but he doesn't like that idea either.. suggestions?? thoughts??

Answer 1

I would mention it on the invitations, they are your family and want the best for him, I am sure they will understand. I would also maybe have the party a few weeks before, rather then a week before, and then just do something small on his birthday. Good luck. =)

Answer 2

heck no that isnt rude! I would not be offended at all if you explained (nicely) that he is having surgery and he should not be exposed to any sick people right now. I actually think it probably would be a great idea to have it after the surgery especially since he is only turning a year old and he would not even know the difference because people can have a virus or sickness in them before they show any symptoms and still be contagious, maybe you could point that out to your husband...good luck with everything and I hope whenever you decide to have it that your precious little guy has a blast!

Answer 3

I would send out your invites and then call/or as they call to RSVP explain that you can't risk anyone sick coming. It's family...they should understand.

Answer 4

Your Answer:

I would say if it eases ur mind then enclose a note don't put it on the invitation it's self... just type something nice up and explain y... say that your not trying to be rude but with his upcoming surgery on ____date that if they are not feeling well to please stay home because he connot get his surgery if he gets sick... be nice but it's better to be safe then sorry and i'm sure they will be understanding u can even put for them to come and visit when they feel better

Answer 5

Honestly - I wouldn't have the party.  Why take the risk?  I understand it's his b-day and all, but this surgery is major.  What is the recovery time?  Would it be too late to have it after he's better from surgery?

You are his parent - just tell him that if he wants to still have a party, it will have to be after the surgery.  Period.

Answer 6

After the surgery- you dont want to even risk the chance of him getting sick- outta 30 people someone is bound to be sick and they are all gonna wanna give him a  birthday kiss and hug. plus with eating and drinking going on just spreads the germs flying. Its pointless to put "don't come if you are sick" on the invitation. someone already said that someone could be sick without even knowing. And then you might be excluding a whole "family" because of one member being sick. Trust me you will be worried the whole time that he is contracting germs even if you do write it on the invitation for sick people not to come.

Im sure you know that he could also develop an infection after surgery-a possible complication with any type of procedure like that.

I would wait til after the "healing time" when you know that the window for infection has passed. Then you can be sure that your son can enjoy his first birthday party- and eat cake like a champ!!

Answer 7

Place on the invitation that Owyn has surgery and it would be greatly appreciated if you (the invitee) will consider Owyns health. Please do not come sick!

Answer 8

I don't think it would be rude at all to include "Please don't attend if you have a cold, Owyn has surgery in a week and needs to be in perfect health"

Answer 9

Who cares what your MIL thinks. If your son is having surgery the next week, you don't want him to get sick. It is common courtesy. I would put it on the invitations or not have a party at all. Your sons health is more important than a party, right? Good luck!

Answer 10

i think you writing on the invitation that if your ill skip the party due to his surgery the fallowing week is not rude. you are looking out for your son.a nd if family have a problem with it then its not right for them.  Do what your heart says. this surgery sounds like something that is really important. its your chice not any one elses. they should understand. but dont cancel the party

Answer 11

Have the party at a later date.  It's not like your son will know the difference.  

Answer 12

Do whatever you want to do, after all - it is YOUR child, right?

If you want to write something like that, then go right ahead. That type of surgery is too major to risk ANYTHING. And it's way better for him to go on with the surgery now, instead of later. I would do something small for his birthday, just you, the baby, and daddy. A few weeks after surgery (when he gets to feeling TONS better) hold that huge party you wanted to do for his birthday. It can be a "You did such a good job, your such a big boy - Now here's even MORE birthday cake and presents!" type party. LOL

Good luck and don't let anyone push you to make the decision you don't want to make. I know I absolutely hate spending money on something that is only going to make everyone else feel happy, when I know that I should be in on it too. =]

Answer 13

i do invitations as a business...i would perhaps say

**Please keep in mind that Owyn will be going in for surgery the week after his party, his health needs to be 100%, so if you are not feeling well please do not attend**

I dont think it is being rude on your part... i think anyone who is willing to put something so important to you and him in jeopardy is being rude

The only other thing is that you could have the party as scheduled and also have one 2-3 weeks after as a "follow up" kind of thing... and you could put on the invitations that if they are not feeling well to please attend the party after surgery. After all it seems like your family is looking for excuses to get together   :-D

Hope it helps!

Answer 14

My family, on both sides, would be pretty understanding if I said something either on the invitations or when they RSVPed. However, you could wait until after his surgery to have the party and have a combo birthday party and a celebration of a successful surgery. The first birthday party is mostly for the adults and older kids anyway, so it won't be a big deal if it is delayed a bit. This way, all can come (even Great-Grandma) with less worry.

Answer 15

If only family members are being invited, would they not be aware of the pending surgery? Any way you could do a "word of mouth" thing, where you mention this to a couple of close family members and ask them to spread the word?

Or, any way to put off his party until after his surgery? Maybe have a small party the day of, like a little household party, and then have the bigger bash after he's recovered.

Personally, I'd have no problem with receiving an invite that requested that, especially given the situation. Best of luck to you and little Owyn!

Answer 16

You might be able to say the following on the bottom of the invitation and hurt no one's feelings:

'P.s. Please come with no illnesses because on (date) he will be going for surgery on his lips for his and I know we all want him to be healthy for it! Thank you!'

That is telling the truth and being as polite as possible! Good luck!

Answer 17

Well to be honest with you...some people frown at the notion of going to a babies birthday party, like it will be boring or whatever. But of course everyone likes to get together with family and people will want to see how the little guy is growing. But if anyone was sick anyways I think they would deff use that as an excuse to not come. I mean they know there will be kids there and a 1 yr old so why would they take that risk themselves. I would mention the surgery in the invitation and what it is for so you dont have everyone asking why. Then hopefully they will take it upon themsleves to know that if they are sick they shouldnt come and specially if the baby (man of the hour) is having surgery a week later than it is a bad idea. If you do notice someone sick or coughing or sneezing, politly ask them if they need anything for it (medicine, tissue) and remind them to stay away from the baby cuase the surgery will be canceled if he is sick, just say it nicely and breezy, no one should take offence, Im sure everyone will understand. Or as you anounce him and the special day (while everyone is gathered round and listening) to jokingly add in that if they are sick or anything of the sort to admire the birthday boy from across the room and go into the whole surgery/cancel thing. If they are family they will understand..again! Good Luck and Have Fun!

Answer 18

Girl, don't worry about sounding rude....you do what you gotta do for little Owyn.  His health is what matters.  I wouldn't hesitate a bit to write that in the invitation, just explain why, and I am sure everyone will understand.  You'd think that people would have enough sense not to come to a childs party if they're sick, but you know how that goes.  Good luck with the party and surgery.

Answer 19

Put off the party. He is turning one---so he won't care.

You could have someone come to the party who seems perfectly healthy but is sick and contagious. Many illnesses are contagious before the person knows they are ill. So your son could pick up an illness and you wouldn't suspect a thing. The LAST thing a baby who is having cleft palate repair needs is a respitory infection that shows up the day of--or the days after surgery.

What is your husband's problem with waiting a few weeks??? Does he think your son will be bothered by it?

Personally, I would look at it as doing everything I can to insure a safe surgery and fast recuperation time for my baby. That would be my number one concern.  You can always have the party later and celebrate the succesful surgery at the same  time.

Why take a risk you don't have to?

Answer 20

I don't think there would be anything wrong with writing something like:

"The best birthday gift we can ask for is that Owyn is healthy for his surgery. Please help us make this wish come true. If you're currently sick or recovering from illness we ask that you stay home and get better soon!"

However, I don't think it would be inappropriate to post pone the celebration either. Good luck!

Answer 21

I wouldn't risk the surgery being canceled just for a party.  Have a small celebration on your own and then have a larger one after the surgery.

Best of luck for Owyn on his surgery-

Answer 22

I would let people know without putting notes on the party invitation.

Send everyone a letter explaining the importance or the surgery.

Also take extra steps to be sure your son doesn't get sick at his party washing hands extra...

Be sure he doesn't drink from anyones cup and that he knows his cup from everyone elses.

I think its important to have the party but you could also consider a smaller party.

He is only one and you should also consider just going someplace instead of bringing everyone to your house.

I think like maybe having the party at a park or something. That way when people leave you don't worry about any germs being left in your home.lol

Good luck

Answer 23

I don't think it is rude at all to ask people not too come if they are sick. If someone thinks it is rude,oh well you need to think about your son first.  

Answer 24

It would be irresponsible to have this party before the surgery. Cancel it, firstt birthday party is for the grown-ups anyway, the child couldn't care less.