How can it be responsible parenting to allow sagging jeans, tee shirts down to mid-thigh, and pajama bottoms?

Question

Why are so many parents these days afraid to parent? Or are they just clueless about polite dressing?

Answer 1

As long as mine aren't drinking, on drugs or fighting, I don't care what they wear.  Once they get past a certain age, their attire is their responsibility, and you have to choose your battles.

Answer 2

Dogsee.d has the right ideas.  Dress is not subjective and never has been.  How one dresses tells others much about them.  Creativity is one thing but I really do not want to have someone's underwear, butt crack, or thong staring me in the face.  Does it make sense to anyone to wear something that needs one hand just to keep it up?  Pajama bottoms are just plain sloppy and lazy.  In  my house, there are rules and this kind of dress just isn't allowed. It's the parents responsibility to teach their kids how to dress and properly socialize.

Answer 3

It sounds more like lazy parenting to me. What are they teaching their children? Nothing. Life isn't your way all the time. If they want to dress like that at home, it's fine but out in public, that's another story. These parents aren't doing any favors for their kids.

Answer 4

Usually those parents aren't around to tell their kids to go back to their rooms and change.  My child won't be dressing like that.

Answer 5

You won't like my answer either.You're not supposed to like it.aren't you over 25?did your parents like all the fashions when you were a teen?I agree kids  nowadays need discipline and I also agree it's a big enough worry all the drugs that kill them or turn them into monsters.You have alot of battles with a teenager,and you have less energy than they do so you really have to pick your battles.  anymore you have to save all your energy to save their life sometimes.If your child dies of drug overdose,how important are those ugly pants?

Answer 6

Because the parents are all about 12 years older than their kids and have other things to worry about.

Answer 7

You're trying to teach respect for others, right?  OK.  

1.  If the others are their peers, and they dress that way, then it's respectful to their peers.  (Adults have peer pressure too, remember?)

2.  If the others are your family guests for dinner, then respect for others is the family guests, and the kids should dress accordingly.

3.  If the others are churchgoers, then respect for them is key.  

Let the kids know that it's OK to dress how they want sometimes, but not other times.  That's how life is anyway.  As an adult, you wouldn't wear a neglige to a dinner party, so you have peer pressure too.  Teach appropriate dress, and respect the dress of the youth at the same time.

Answer 8

I worry more about the tweens dressing like Brittany Spears with low rider trousers and a thong riding above them, shirts that barely cover their mid-sections or b*****s or wearing skirts so short that they cannot bend over.  Don't their parents understand the message that sends?  There are predators out there oogling...and plotting.

Answer 9

thats not that bad whats worse is a girl butt has written across is juicy or tasty.... now that is bad. i guess some parents feel it just a style that will go away with time. which is most likely true but all parents should have limits for their kids. also next time u see a kid who dresses like that look at the parent i bet their clothes ain't too flattering either... monkey see monkey do.

Answer 10

At first I wasn't going to answer this question.  However, after reading through the responses, especially the one above mine, I couldn't help it.  (From Dr. Moises).

It is exactly this thought or manner of thought which has led to the degradation of our society.

Dressing is NOT subjective. This is why there is office attire, uniforms, tennis outfits, costumes on Halloween, etc.  I may have gone off the board a little there, but it was to make a point.  In civilized society throughout the ages, there were different ways to dress and the way you dressed said something about you.  It denoted from what class you were, whether you had money and so on.  This has not changed.  The way you dress DOES affect how people see you and relate to you.  As this is a fact, any parent that would allow their child to be seen in any lesser light than what they are – are idiots.  Plain and simple.  These are the same parents who upon being approached that their ghetto kid has done something wrong, will most probably make an excuse for them.  Bad parenting is what is killing us as a society.  (Gawd I sound like my granny) but it is true.

As for the point of “each person's manner of dress should be up to their own personal preference” how far does this go without disrespecting others’ rights as well.  I DO NOT want to see some buttheads boxer shorts.  I don’t want to have someone stand in line in front of me somewhere who has to hold their pants up with one hand while they TRY to do something else with their other hand, all teh while showing me their a s s.  Where do you draw the line?  Should girls be allowed to go topless to school because that is what their ‘preference’ is?  Grow up.  It is our business and parents ARE irresponsible for allowing their kids to dress this way.

Also, it isn't so much that parents are lazy.  They are scared.  They are scared of 'rocking the boat' with little Billy because, poor baby, he may just get mad - boohoo.  In all honesty kids crave a little bit of a parent looking out for them and setting boundaries.  The parents who have responded that they really don’t care, should try it sometime.

EDIT: To DR:  You have added: "Sagging, baggy, it doesn't matter. Provided the pants stay on"  ...  To which I have to reply:  what part of 'having to hold up with a free hand' do you not understand?    If there is any part of anyones' attire which must be "held togther", how is that truly attire in reasonable mind?

Thanks Peace Forg for the great question and for your views.

Answer 11

I don't have kids but I agree with gerbiling.  Same thing with kids hair.  It's just hair!

Answer 12

Dressing is subjective.  Each person's manner of dress should be up to their own personal preference.  If they choose to wear a baggier pant, they should be allowed to do it if that's what they feel best in.  Most parents understand this and as long as the kid is wearing clothes, they choose not to regulate the specific dimensions of those clothes.

The fact that this style of pant or appearance doesn't appeal to you is entirely irrelevant and none of your business.  As a parent of your own children you of course have the right to impose restrictions on them which could include the dimensions of their clothing if that is important to you.  Go to town.  I don't care.

Do not, however, assume that other parents are irresponsible because they allow their children to go out dressed how they please and in a style that you don't like.  The fact is, the parents of those children could be model parents, their child may grow up to be the next leader of the world despite your uptight attitude.  Baggy pants are not acceptable in certain situations I admit, but I know plenty of young adults who've worn baggy pants and who have very bright futures despite their "irresponsible" parents.

I should add that I've witnessed plenty of disruptive and irresponsible behavious from people wearing tight or relaxed fit pants too but I imagine that largely goes unnoticed by the asker as she clearly has a bias against this manner of dress.

I will also add, in response to Dogsee...  If you think loose fitting clothing is the reason for the degradation of our society, you need to open your eyes and take a look around.

Edit:  Sagging, baggy, it doesn't matter.  Provided the pants stay on, then there is nothing wrong with it.  No skin is showing.   If underwear showing is the problem then look away.  The reality is, everyone does things with their appearance that others don't agree with.  I suppose we could have everyone sporting a snug fitting uniform with a crew cut.  Would that appease you?

Dogsee again:  

There is office attire, uniforms and tennis outfits and when in those situations I wholeheartedly support everyone adhering to the dressing requirements.  There are no outfits fro walking down the street, shopping, sitting at home etc.  In those situations anyone can dress how they want provided they aren't breaking any laws.

The average person doesn't write people off based on the baggyness of their pants when they are in a casual situation.  That superficial point of view is scarce even in today's "degraded" society.  There are far more important things for parents to be teaching their children than to wear tight pants.

To be quite honest, I don't care if you don't want to see my boxers.  Unless the skin on my butt is showing, I'm doing nothing indecent or disrespectful and you can mind your own business and look elsewhere.

Lack of education?  Get a grip.  It has nothing to do with that and everything to do with personal style.  There are jsut as many educated people who dress a multitude of diferent ways that don't fit into your narrow minded view of respectable society or civilized environments.  What looks pitiful to you doesn't to the next parent and so on.  

In the end, this argument is pointless when argued with your type.  You've made up your mind that the look is pitiful, that's fine, you are entitled to your opwn opinion.  Unfortunately for you, a good section of the population either likes the look, doesn't have a problem with it, or doesn't find it important enough to fight over so you'll have to deal with it.  My baggy pants are perfectly respectable to most people and I will wear them whenever I please.

Answer 13

I blame it on lazy parenting. Parents are too self involved to care about what their kids do and that's why this happens. If you notice, kids that dress like that normally come from the ghetto where their parents aren't even home most of the time. Of course, the kids think they look cool because their brains haven't fully developed yet. Plus, they see people dressing like that on TV so they think it's normal. Reality hits them when they try to get a job and realize they look like idiots....