How can my 16-yr-old pregnant niece give her baby up for adoption if her 15-yr-old ex wants to fight her?

Question

My 16-yr-old niece is pregnant, her ex is 15 and wants to give the baby up for adoption. His mom wants to keep the baby but our family feels they are unfit. She is 29 yrs-old, has 4 kids, her oldest son being 15. They eat once daily at 10 pm so the kids won't go to be hungry, her youngest had diaper rash so bad he bled She has a live-in-boyfriend that is violent he broke her wrist once My niece's ex has been hospitalized a few times for attempted suicide and is supposed to take medication which he doesn't take He stalked my niece after they broke up b4 she was pregnant to the point she had to stay in class after the bell rang and be escorted to her next class by a teacher, he was heard saying he was going to kill another boy His mother contacts my niece b4 she was pregnant saying after they broke up(they broke up many times)"my son is suicidal b/c of you how could you be so cruel and do this to him" We feel adoption is best for the baby What can they do? They don't have $ to fight this

Answer 1

Hi.  I would consult a lawyer who specializes in family law.  

I am no lawyer, but from what I know.....they are both minors.  As such, your niece's PARENTS have the say in what she will do and not do with the baby.  Her ex-boyfriend has no rights.  That is the law as far as I know.  He COULD contest this IF he was 18, but since he is also a minor....he has nothing to say in the matter.  She is a minor, and, as such, her parents have control over what will happen with the baby.

She should NOT let the father's mother (who sounds like an unfit mother to begin with) get her hands on that baby!!

Good luck and please speak with a family law attorney.  If you cannot afford one, perhaps there are "legal aid" services where you live OR contact a social worker at any human service or religious organization (Lutheran Social Services...Catholic Social Services....Family Independence Agency) or any state agency that deals with children.

Good luck to your niece.

Answer 2

she can not fight it. if her son does not want it then it is up to he 16 year old to keep it or not. contact a local adoption agency and check out what you will need to do.

Answer 3

There is nothing much that they can do.  Your niece picked him to father the baby and he has the right to raise his baby.  

As far as the diaper rash, disposables do that to kids who have a reaction to the chemicals in the diapers. It doesn't necessarily mean that the kid is not being cared for.

If your niece is so concerned that he would be unfit, she should keep the child herself.   She will be awarded custody.  BTW, I swear people are just stupid on here. The father has the same rights regarding the baby as the mother, whether or not he is a minor. He doesn't have to prove anything other than he is the biological father.

Answer 4

You had one very good answer...he is a MINOR..his rights, depending on the State he lives in, are little, if any...I would suggest Legal Aid if they should find that he has ANY rights...if she feels uncomfortable about the idea of him having any rights..and paternity takes time to determine !  So..she has some time!!  She should strongly consider speaking to Childrens Services about the situation going on at the possible "father's" home and report it..if she is that sure this is, in fact, taking place!  

Also, a restraining order can be taken out against the Mother of the possible "father" if she is being harrassed.  There are alot of options ... and against the "father" if necessary!  It would lower her stress level..and the family's as well!

Good luck!

Answer 5

This is a tough situation.  Does your niece want to relinquish the baby for adoption, or is she being pressured by family due to the child's father?  For one thing, even if she is certain now, she may change her mind once she holds her baby.  If she decides then she wants to raise the child, family has NO RIGHT to make her feel obligated to turn the baby over to any couple she might pick.  She needs counseling, and not from an agency or someone recommended thru an adoption lawyer.  If she still wants to relinquish, you can consult a lawyer and let the person know about her ex's fam.  They will still have to serve him with papers and if he fights and can prove he and his family are fit enough to raise the child, then your niece has no right to deny him or his family.  Considering I only have a slight idea of the situation, I would say that she should not make an adoption plan until AFTER the child's birth.  Give her a chance to really think about this decision, if she is ready......But, legally and morally, you have to notify the father and give him a chance to contest it and prove he and his family are capable of raising the child.  This is not just your niece's decision alone.  It took two to tango....and she should have seen the instability before she got knocked up.  Why wasn't she on birth control?????

Answer 6

If one of the parents (grand parents) wants the baby they have first dibs over an adoptive family.

Sucks, but that is the way it goes.

Think of all those adoptions you see in the news that the dad finds out years later that HIS baby was put up for adoption and he fights the adoptive parents for the baby.

Answer 7

Hi Sweety,

I know a lot about adoption because, my husband and I have been trying to adopt for the last year.  I would be more than happy to talk to you about adoption laws.  I also have a book that has a lot of the laws in different states.  If you would like to talk please give me an email at [e-mail]

If your niece has been with more than one person.  If there is any chance it might not be his.  He would probably have to prove that the baby is his.  That means he would have to do a paternity test to prove the baby is his.  They are not cheap.  If they are really as bad off as you say.  They probably won't have it done.  Family doesn't have first dibs on a baby.  That is the case of a baby that is in foster care.  If the babies mother wants to put the baby up for adoption the father can put a stop to the adoption.  If he doesn't do it no one else in the family could really contest it.  I would be up to him.  Anyway give me an email and we could talk more.

Love,

Michelle

Love,

Michelle

Answer 8

She can't give the baby up for adoption without his signature. Unless she can prove he isnt the baby's father. The only thing she can do is keep the baby herself ( to keep it out of the hands of his family).  No one  (not even her ex can stop her from naming someone else the guardian of the child until she is older and more ready to fulfull his parenting needs).

Answer 9

Obviously, the father's side does not have a stable environment for this new baby.  Be the baby's advocat!!  Try to find the best solution for this baby.  Find out who has legal rights in this case. You may also want to appeal to Child Welfare.  Putting the baby with someone who is a danger to himself and to others is the last place you want the baby.  There are many families that want babies.  Do this baby a favor and find an alternative for him/her.

Answer 10

The way I understand this is the 15 yr old wants to put the child up for adoption. A tough call but maybe best considering his family. If your niece wants adoption also what his mother wants is irrelivant. If "His mother" wants to adopt the baby I assume there will be some kind of a home study, sounds like they will not pass. Tell your niece and her ex, to bring up the neglect, abuse, feeding schedule, broken bones and anything else they can without lying if they are trying to keep the baby away from his family.

What does her family say?

Answer 11

The very first thing you need to do is talk to a lawyer.  Every state has legal aid available at little or no cost.

If you firmly believe kids in that home are being mistreated, then report them.  That's what child protective services are there for.  Leaving known abuse or neglect unreported is the same as abusing them yourself.

Answer 12

i would have your neice keep the baby or give the rights up to her mother or someone in the family, then get a restraining order against the boy and his family.

Answer 13

He has no legal rights to the baby - he's a minor. Adoption is the best way.