How can my boyfriend nicely turn down a promotion?

Question

My boyfriend is going to be going through a dilemma at work. He is about to go to school for his Masters in Social Work. There is a higher position opening up at his job and there are 5 people up for it. Since he has been there the longest, he is going to be first choice. He already knows that he does not want it. It's only a little more money but a lot more work. He is afraid that if he turns it down they may get upset and use it against him. He said his boss likes to get even with people who get on her bad side. For instance, someone who recently got her Masters Degree decided to resign for another job. The boss got very upset at her and gave her bad reference for the new job. So I told my boyfriend to just let them know that he has enough on his plate right now and can't take the promotion. He works full time, going to be going back to school, and is a single dad of 2 teenaged daughters. How can he nicely turn this job down without getting on the boss' bad side?

Answer 1

Just be up front. He should say

"Thank you, but I have plans for the future and need things to be stabilized for awhile. Accepting new responsibilities will compromise committments I have made and intend to keep. I appreciate the consideration, but I believe <insert recommendation> would be best for the job."

This is nice, direct, and lets the boss know he has other plans for the future. If you are honest and work hard and your boss is still angry at you, then it's not your fault. All you can do is be a responsible, hard-working, intelligent individual with integrity.

Answer 2

Psht. How are we to know? Not all bosses are the same.  

Answer 3

Just let him take care of it.

Answer 4

nicelly explain why

Answer 5

If it really isn't beneficial for him to take the job and he wants to turn down the promotion, suggest for him to say something like the following:

"Hello Mr/Mrs ------, I thank you for considering me for the promotion to become --------. However, I am sorry to inform you that at this moment it would be impossible for me to take the promotion. Due to my personal reasons, I feel as if I take the promotion, I will not be able to work to my best ability. Thanks again for my consideration and I hope you will find someone else who is more suited for the job than I am."

-----

However, if I were your boyfriend, I would consider things deeply. If he turns down the promotion now, chances are, he won't be able to get another one for a long time, or even be considered at all. Furthermore, if he is as experienced as you say he is, do you think he would appreciate working under someone else who is promoted... someone who is "less" experienced? Bosses usually look out for their co-workers and deeply consider things such as promotions. If he thinks that your boyfriend has the qualities to be promoted, then he is usually right.

But that will be your boyfriend's decision, and his decision only.

I wish him luck!  

Answer 6

Congratulations on going back for his masters. I got mine two years ago and, trust me, he'll have enough to do without worrying about problems at work. I agree with your suggestion. A simple explanation that "I'm preparing to work on my masters and I think this position would be better suited for someone who has the time to properly focus on the work" is a good start. He might add, "I'm putting my focus on education right now in order to better serve others in the future." Above all, be honest!

Answer 7

I think that he should just tell his boss that he is very grateful that he considered him for the job and loves that he got the opportunity to take it, but that he can't because his schoolwork makes him so busy that he can't take on another thing but, would love to keep his job and reconsider this job in the near future once school is done . In other words or exact words he should say

" Mr or Mrs_________ I am sorry to inform you that I can not except your gracious offer for a job because my school work is interfering with my job but I would still love to keep the one I have. I hope that you will reconsider me getting the job in the near future so I have an amazing thing to look forward to once school ends."

Answer 8

Well he should just say, Well I don't really want the promotion. Or "I can't take it. I'm Sorry." then the reason why.

Answer 9

Tell them that it is not the direction he would like to take with the company. Obviously thats not the step to where he would like to be in the company and if it is he should take it. If it is not and he does not plan on staying with the company he needs to tell a white lie and let them know his plans exactly with the company which is not the direction the position they offer is going. Manipulate them to thinking he wants to be higher up just not in that direction.

Answer 10

Like i have always said , be truthfull and tell everything, and be very sincere and apologetic.always works

Answer 11

First, it is illegal to give someone a bad reference esp when they didn't get fired.  

Second, he should just go to her and explain that he feels he has so much on his plate being a single dad and w/ school he would rather allow someone else the position because he enjoys the position he already has and feels he can do great work staying w/ his position while being at school

Basically he should just bring up school a lot, how much he loves his position he already has and

He will risk her being upset but he has to do what is best for him/his family of course they may think he is not up for change so may be overlooked at the next promotion.

Answer 12

i think we should be friends

Answer 13

Apparently, some people didn't read your question at all! You clearly stated that it was not enough extra money for a lot more work. I think your boyfriend sounds like a very sensible person, and you sound like an understanding partner. Work and money are not the most important things in life. Family comes first.

Now, I don't think your b/f should be afraid to be honest. He should politely explain to his boss that he is busy, is a full time dad, is going to school, etc. If she still gets mad after all this, it's her problem. You can't spend your life trying to please everyone.  

Answer 14

To be honest and turn it down,but letting the boss know he aprreciated his ideas!!

Answer 15

if he doesnt take it, dump him. He must be a complete moron.

Answer 16

I think you need to be a little understanding and he needs to take the boss out for dinner.

Answer 17

He should just be honest and polite with his boss about this.  It's important for people to be realistic about their life circumstance and about just how much they can handle.  You have no evidence that shows his declining this promotion will put him on the boss's bad side.  After all, there are 4 others from which the boss can choose.

Answer 18

First of all, if he is working at a company that promotes based on seniority rather than merit, he should start looking elsewhere. Second, he should be able to handle his career on his own by now. This is his decision and he is in the position to know best what to do. Sometimes, there is no solution that makes everything work out great. You just have to move on.

Answer 19

Something about this sounds fishy. If the lady left for another job then she already had the job and didnt need a reference. And even if she did its unprofessional, illegal, and reputation damaging( to the person doing it) to give somebody a "bad reference".  

Answer 20

I think your advice was good--tell her the truth--he has a lot to do and doesn't feel like he will be able to give the job 100%. Besides, he doesn't know that she really wants just him, does he? After all, as you said, there are 4 other people. Maybe one of them would like the position as well.  

Answer 21

"I'm sorry, but I am satisfied with the spot I am in and it is best for my family. I think I would be more value to you here." Maybe he can reference someone else.

Answer 22

He is stupid for doing so

Answer 23

Tell him hes not ready for it yet.