How can my daughter beat these bullies?

Question

when we moved to out new home last year i thought my daughter would be able to have some freedom and use local library and park. the first day she went she came back in tears because a gang of girls pulled her hair and pushed her . this has continued since then so she is now trapped at home apart from going to school. these girls are all 2-3 year older than her.. recently some extended members of this gang have started threatening and bullying her at school too so she cannot escape them.. i have been to the school and nothings been done.. my daughter is only 11 and is very pretty so i think its because these girls are threatened by her appearance..it takes me all ive got not to go confronting these girls as it makes me so angry to see my daughter upset all the time and wondering whats wrong with herself... i sometimes dont know how to answer her and say why they are picking on her..is there anything else to do. im not moving schools as shes only 4 months left there....any advice

Answer 1

Even though your daughter only has four months left, it's disgusting how she's being bullied by these older girls. With the girls being around 13-14, this is the usual age they are b*tchy and will do anything to make themselves feel better - like you said, probably getting a kick out of it because your daughter is very attractive for her age. When she asks why she is being bullied, tell her it's because the bullies are jealous of the things she has and that it will soon stop. I think the best thing you can do is really comfort your daughter and be there for her as a friend as well as a mother. With her being only 11, she's impressionable and probably desperately worried this is going to stay like it forever. Does she have any close friends within her class at school? If she does, invite them over for tea and let her enjoy herself and forget about the bullies. You need to go back to the school and demand something is done to stop her from being bullied - the school has a responsibility to take care of it's pupils and it's wrong that nothing has so far been done to protect her. You need to go in as soon as possible and have a meeting with the teachers - it's crucial that they stop the bullies from getting to your daughter and by having a strict word with them, the bullying should cease.

Answer 2

Well, what i used to do is when they bullied me, i'd just luagh and take any verbal assult and pushing they could give me, then just act like some rubbish had flew into me.

You should tell you daughter to do this, to act like it doesn't bother her. It's an old fix, but it does work.

Also never let you duaghter feel like she has no one to talk to. Never let her feel alone.

Hope i helped you. :)

Answer 3

Hmm Not Really Babe Sorry i Know The Feeling i was Bullied For 1Year When i was 13 (Well Im 18 & a Half Now..) Tried Moving Schools,Maybe Get Some Counselling i Mean Any Reason Why Shes Getting Bullied Thats Obvious Enough?

Either That Or Try Home-Schooling Her,Wont Help Her Socialise i Know But It Would Help Her Growing Up & Not Being Too Scared,Feel Soo Sorry For Yoou!

All The Bestest & Good Luck!

Take Care,

Brooke

XOXOX

Answer 4

School has responsibility for the in school bullying, and should take you very seriously. Make a fuss, ask to see the tutor initially, then the head. If necessary, write a letter to the Governors, and local education authority. I can understand you not wanting to move school, especially in light of looming SATS, but you have the ultimate responsibility for your daughters welfare and if the situation does not improve, seriously consider moving/ withdrawing from the  school. Your daughter comes first.

Outside school, my first reaction would be to talk to the parents. Often, parents are unaware of what is going on, and may be horrified that their child is involved. At the very least, they may stop this going on, to avoid trouble for themselves. Again, if this doesn't improve, involve the police. This is assault, and from experience, the police do take it seriously. A visit by the community support officer, or more senior, may prevent this. Above all, keep reassuring your child that it is NOT her fault. Encourage her to make a group of friends, maybe invite some children round. There is nothing like witnesses to prevent bullying.

I really hope things get better.  Good luck.

Answer 5

Get a video camera and record it. Then go to their parents, and let the girls and parents know your next stop is the police and district atty office to file charges.

Answer 6

There is probably nothing legal that can be done in that situation.  It is unfortunate that goes on and I went through the same thing when our family moved from a small town to a big city.

Looking back on it, I wish that my parents had took me out of school and let me home school with the ultimate goal of getting a GED.  High School was another wasted of 4 years and some of those bullies beating me up also went to that HS so I had some of the same problems there.

My advise is to talk to your daughter about the possibility of home schooling with the ultimate goal of getting a GED.

She can save a year or two, not be ruined by peers and intimidators, be better prepared for College, and by the time she gets to College those bully issues will be over with.

Answer 7

my daughter is 11 aswell,, ive had bullying problems too, ive actually confronted the girls and their mums, i  know u aint supposed to but it worked for me

now my daughter has new friends all is well, good luck xxxxxxxxxxx

sometimes these bullies need a scare,, go for it

Answer 8

File assault charges, yeah it may seem extreme.

But today society leave us less choices in these matters.

At-least before anyone gets hurt you will have it on record that you tried to resolve the problem.

Me (not you) would beat the c**p out of their parents until the problem was resolved.

These kids seem to think they can get away with it, and my thoughts would be it's their parents that brought them up that way.

Answer 9

If she is being harassed in public areas(library, street, park, etc), then you are able to go to the police and file charges against these girls(especially if they are physically hurting her).

At school you need to involve the school system and have them control their students.

If the situation persists I would fight to file a restraining order and charges of battery(if they physically harm her again). Just because it is happening at the school does not mean the police cannot get involved(in fact that may get the school to take you seriously.

Have your daughter carry a cell phone on her, possible the emergency ones that only dial home and local police(you don't want the other girls stealing it). When these girls harass her on the street to the park/library/etc. Tell her to call the police, which is the way anyone would handle being threatened or physically assaulted. Tell her to always stay on public places around people.

It is horrible you have to deal with people like that in your community. You need to take action before it gets even more out of hand.

Answer 10

Tell the principal that you want a parent conference with all of the girls parents.If it makes matters worse get the police involved.You may have to get an police protection order against all of the girls.That way they won't mess with her outside of school.I'm pretty sure the parents don't know that their girls are in a gang.

Answer 11

Her school should be more concerned, EVERY school masacre started out as bullying usually ignored by those in charge of the school. One strategy that works, is hunt them down individually and beat the living snot out of them one by one, but most people are to civilized to employ it, otherwise learn to fight and be absolutely ruthless because then they don't know what to expect and will leave her alone. One thing to remember is it is not something your daughter did or didn't do, bullies are very impersonal like rain, don't waste time wondering what did I ever do to you, just except that you are going to get wet and the rain doesn't care so deal with it.

Answer 12

As long as you continue to let these girls abuse your daughter the worse it is going to get.  Pulling hair and pushing is battery in the eyes of the law.  If it were my daughter, I would make a police report.  Thirteen and fourteen year olds know better and can be prosecuted, and by not filing a report you are allowing them to continue a lifestyle that is unacceptable in our world.  These girls will keep abusing your daughter and anyone else they want because NO ONE is stopping them. Make the report and tell the officer you want charges filed!!

Answer 13

It could be that your child is pretty but let me ask you several questions:

What race are you?  Are you Arab?  Are you black and the other girls white?  Are you white and the other girls black?

Can it be race issue?  Ever thought about that?

Also, how does your daughter behave in public when she is not in your presence?

Answer 14

make her ugly.