How can my essay be improved?

Question

Loneliness is a very powerful emotion. It affects almost everyone in different ways. The statement ‘being alone doesn’t necessarily mean being lonely’ can be a controversial one. The definition of loneliness is different for all human beings and it affects them in different ways. Also, being alone and being lonely are not the same thing. Being alone is a physical factor and being lonely is a mental factor. This essay shall discuss the difference of being alone and lonely.

Loneliness and being alone are not the same thing. Many people have times when they are alone due to circumstances of choice. This can be a positive or a negative experience depending on if it is under that person’s control. Being alone could be described as solitude - being alone/isolated from other people. However, solitude implies that a conscious decision has been made. However, loneliness is not a willing choice. Therefore loneliness could be described as unwilling solitude.

Loneliness is when a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and/or isolation. Most of the time it is when a person lacks company and is alienated from people. Someone who is lonely may have difficulty socializing and making human contact as they feel they have been ‘cut off’ from the rest of the world. Prolonged loneliness can lead to serious mental health issues including depression.

There can be a combination of loneliness and solitude. For example, an individual may be alone and lonely, alone but not lonely, or not alone and lonely. The difference is that someone may be alone physically, but still maintain human contact - or vice versa. Also, these situations can be temporary or long-term. How it affects someone depends on their attitude and perspective of the situation.

In the novella ‘Of Mice and Men’ loneliness is a major theme. For example, when Candy’s dog is shot, he experiences loneliness because he was so attached to the dog and loved him. George and Lennie’s relationship could be described as the result of loneliness. Curley’s wife suffers from loneliness because her relationship with Curley is not one that she wished for - she deals with it by flirting with other men. Crooks states “A guy goes nuts if he ain’t got nobody. Don’t make no difference who the guy is, long’s he’s with you”. In his situation, his solitude was due to the circumstances and the apartheid at the time. As a result of this solitude, he became lonely and was happy with anyone who came in contact with him. He didn’t care who, as long as it was someone.

If taking into account the definition of loneliness and solitude, the statement ‘being alone doesn’t necessarily mean being lonely’ can therefore be said as true.

How do you think my essay can be improved? Help?

Answer 1

This is just my opinion, but it's up to you whether to change it or not.

Y = You

M = My Suggestion

Y: The statement ‘being alone doesn’t necessarily mean being lonely’ can be a controversial one.

M: The statement ‘being alone doesn’t necessarily mean being lonely’ can be a controversial [optional: to certain people].

The above poster said not to write down:

"This essay shall discuss the difference of being alone and lonely."

However, it is wholly up to you and your teacher's requirements. That's what we had to do in grade 9. This year, I tied first place on a school essay competition and i used what I learned in grade 9 (and that's because we didn't learn to do a grade 10 persuasive essay yet).

In the ending statement, change solitude to "alone". You started with describing/defining loneliness and alone, so you end it with those two words. Another thing: if you are trying to relate this to a novel, relating it starting from the beginning. When I was first reading it, I thought you were trying to differentiate loneliness and being alone. But when I read the part where you related it to a novel, I realized that you were trying to contrast loneliness and alone AND tying it in with the novel. I think you should try to add in the thesis that you will be talking about how this applies to the novel or how you will be discussing the themes of loneliness and being alone which are themes in the book.

Answer 2

"This essay shall discuss the difference of being alone and lonely."

Get rid of that. In an essay, it's not a good idea to refer to it.