How can my family show sympathy to my Next Door neighbor; they lost thier baby?

Question

I want to do something for my neighbor they are going through a tough time. she is coming home today and I want to show them sympathy. What is a good way of doing that with out bringing up feelings? What should we do?

Answer 1

When I had a miscarriage, my friend came over with dinner for me and my husband, she helped me by just being there for me, letting me use her shoulder to cry on when I was ready was important just knowing that she was there and cared really helped. Help your friend with things she cannot do right now, like vacuuming, and cleaning her house. Provide a caring ear to listen, and a shoulder to lean on. Do not tell her that you know how she feels, unless you really have been in the same position as she is right now. Good luck, I will keep both of you in my prayers.  

Answer 2

I'd maybe give them a day or two for close family and friends.  Then if you know them well enough just stop over, ask them if they need anything to let you know and a hug.

Answer 3

Wow, such great answers!  If I can reiterate....please...please try to be mindful of what you say.  When my mother lost my brother (her first born), she said people just didn't know what to say and some of the things really cut.  She had many say, "God called him home." or "God needed him more than you did." or "You can always have another one." or one lady had the nerve to say, "He was an ugly baby anyway."  Now what kinda c**p is that?  

I love the idea of bringing over an already prepared dinner they can just pop in the oven.   I would make sure they know if they need anything...give you a ring...than make yourself scarce and give them room and time to grieve.

BTW:  Remember if you offer to help out...don't be surprised if they take you up on it.  Some people offer their help and services...but, really don't mean it.  You know what I mean?  If you are going to offer...make sure you mean it.

Answer 4

cook  dinner

Answer 5

Your best bet would be to offer them support. Tell them that you are sorry for their loss and let them know that if they need anything, to please let you know. Also, it would be nice to take them over a prepared meal that can be thrown in the oven or already to eat. When people go through rough times they tend to not eat claiming that they aren't hungry.

If the lawn needs cut, just do it for them, bring in the paper, garbage cans what ever.

You could also just go over and keep them company.

I just want to add that it was really nice of you to post this question and that you are willing to help out some friends in need.  

Answer 6

Just leave them a card...saying something like " we/you are hear if you need us " then don't do anything..let them approach you, gives them time to grieve in peace and come to terms with what happened.  

Answer 7

Flowers and an offer of some practical help if needed. Then leave them to come to you.

Answer 8

I always thought I would want to be left alone in my grief but when I experienced a great loss, I ended up thankful for all the people that came by to let me know they were thinking about me and supporting me.  I got a really big boost just from all the human kindness that was shown.  People I hadn't seen in 20 years showed up at the visitation and I was to touched that they all came.  It didn't matter whether they just hugged me and told me how sorry they were, or if they brought flowers or a meal or whatever, just knowing that people cared was uplifting.  

Do whatever you feel comfortable with.  You know your neighbor better than any of us and you seem like a caring person to come on here and ask the question, so I'm sure you will be able to do/say the perfect thing.  It may feel awkward, but I think you will feel more awkward later if you didn't do or say anything.

Answer 9

Tell them you are sorry for their loss. The hardest thing about losing a baby people try to act like it never happened.  Feelings are ok, they are going to be sad, they lost a child.  Listen if they want to talk. I know it is uncomfortable for you, but if they cry, it's not a bad thing. They are grieving.

If you don't know them that well, offer your time. Mow their yard. When you are going to the store, ask if they need anything. Take them some baked goods or a meal. Even if its a small gesture it will mean a lot to your neighbors.

Please don't say things like "God needed the baby more than you did" or "it was probably for the best" or "you can have another baby"  

Answer 10

Ok, first of all, you need to tell a little more about yourself. Are you an adult? Are you married? If you're married, I would talk to your wife and have her come over your neighbor's house with some food that she made. If you really want to, you can guys go together, but don't go by yourself. I don't care how innocent it might seem, but things happen. If you guys don't cook, maybe you can buy some frozen food, such as lasagna, ravioli, etc. I'm pretty sure that she won't feel like cooking in a near future.  

Answer 11

I, for one, would want my space. Every person coming to visit would be a reminder of the reason for their visit. In hard times, I prefer that people quickly extend their condolences and otherwise treat me normally.  

In these kind of situations, misguided people sometimes try to justify the situation. “Oh, it was for the best” or “There was probably something wrong with it.” That c**p doesn’t help at all. Please, avoid anything of that sort.

I would probably send over a casserole or something since they probably don’t feel much like cooking.   I would stop over and simply say “I’m sorry to hear about your loss. I thought you might not feel up to cooking so I brought you some dinner. Please let us know if you need anything.” And then go home.