How can my husband and I find a birthmother who is interested in giving up her child for adoption(private)?

Question

We are hoping to adopt. We are having several infertility issues, and would love to adopt a baby privately, without an agency. Thanks for any advice given! And God bless all of the birthparents who make such a heavy decision of giving up a child...We know how hard it must be, but in the same breath, we understand how much the birthparents love thier child, and wants whats best for them. God Bless you all!

Answer 1

I'm with the above poster:  how do you know how hard it is???

Answer 2

My girlfriend and I are considering adoption....private mail me.

Answer 3

that is really tricky hince the birth mother could always change her mind before or after she has given baby up. and w/o the proper legal documents you dont have much of a leg to stand on. And most of the time the mother will ask for a huge fee which is illegal to sell your child. i would talk to a lawyer and see what is the best way to approach this. asking on here is not the greatest solution to your issue.

Answer 4

Do you already have an approved homestudy and an attorney (to ensure your networking efforts are legal in your jurisdiction and to draw up all the necessary papers for you)?

If you have a homestudy, and it is legal in your state, you can post on ParentProfiles, put up a blog, network via family and friends, some states even let you advertise in the newspaper and contact schools and OB/GYNs. Be careful though, my state, for example bars any kind of advertising or solicitation in any form including verbally, that's why an attorney is important.

Take a look at Brenda Romanchik's webpages, www.openadoptioninsight.org as she has many ethical and emotional  issues you will want to take into consideration.

Answer 5

How exactly do you know hard it must be?  =o/

Answer 6

A Link Adoption

704-272-2229 Amy Miller

www.ALinkAdoption.com

Answer 7

I don't want it to look like I'm marketing my agency so I can't really tell you where to advertise.  BUT I do have a few tips for your journey.

1.  Use respectful language when addressing potential matches; instead of 'gave up' try 'making an adoption plan' or 'making a parenting plan.'  It honors the conscious decision to choose a future for a child.

2. Try not to say that you know or you understand how others are feeling.  You may empathize, but you don't know, and telling them that you understand can come off as patronizing.

3.  Be selective in how you bring up your fertility, you don't want to come off as desperate or trying to make her feel sorry for you.

4.  Be equally as selective in how you bring up God.  Unless you know that your audience is of the same religious views, it may be a turn off.

In most states, you need to have some form of agency involvement, even if it is just for a homestudy.  Please talk to some adoption professionals (attorneys or social workers) to learn the laws of your state before you solicit potential birthparents.  Some states have laws on how and where you can advertise.

Answer 8

contact an adoption lawyer in your hometown

Answer 9

I have seen pesonal adds in the paper saying that a couple wants to help adopt.  

Try making yourself know at schools for 'warward' girls.  I know there are adoption web sites that you might be able to post on about you wanting to adopt, I just do not know any of there names.

Good Luck

Answer 10

l don't think you should be solociting people to buy their babies.