How can parents expect their children to learn patience if they themselves have a quick temper ?

Question

Don't children learn by example ?

Answer 1

You have heard the old saying. "Do as I say, Not as I do"

Answer 2

I admittedly have anger issues. I have a quick explosive temper that I struggle with. My kids are very aware of that fact and that it isn't acceptable. I have done everything in my power to insure I am not an abusive parent( physically or emotionally). That's the example I want my children to learn. That despite a temper you can be nonviolent and you can act with compassion. We cant change who we are but we can teach tools to deal with things like tempers.

Answer 3

Well....it is a bit tricky...i have got two children, a boy and a girl. The boy is the eldest.I was quite a laid back person and easy going before i had my children . Due to unforseen events i have became a single parent after a very turbulent relationship...i have became very short tempered with my kids, even though after i tell them off, i regret it, I now started to see bits of me in my daughter , as you all know, at this age they try to imitate your behaviour...i suppose you really have to work on yourself to show them the right  way to be, and think before you act , because , in the end , they are learning from you, the good,  and the bad...

Answer 4

haha you are actually partly right... but when you have stubborn children and you are doing the right thing as a parent you will really lose control of your temper.  

But, I am not like that with my kids, I don't easily get mad, (yes you are right)  because I want to teach them how to handle problems without freaking out.  I normally talk to them in a subtle way, I don't scold them physically.  I believe that is the best way to handle children. In turn, I have kids who don't have that much tantrums, they don't answer back, they respect their elders, they respect their friends and classmates they don't get into fights because they are not quick tempered, which they learned from me.

Answer 5

Precisely.  There are two sides of that school of thought.  The better choice is to set the right example(with temper, or anything else).  However it works the other way is well.

[Soapbox please]

A parent can't expect their children not to smoke if they do.  They can't expect their children not to do drugs if they do, and so on.  Unethical parents breed unethical children.   Welfare parents breed welfare parents.  Drug users breed drug users.  Criminals breed criminals.

That being said, sometimes parents can teach their children by doing the wrong thing.  My father hated blacks, Mexicans, Asians, etc.  He put a n**i flag up in front of our trailer.  He did drugs.  He was a crook, and a s*x offender.  He ran a fake Church to steal money from people.  He also went around filing frivolous law suits.  Because I watched all the drama, and watched him get arrested time and time again, I learned not to do all those things. long before I could have ever had the opportunity to do them.

[/Soapbox]

Answer 6

It took some work for me to become the patient person that I am. I learned really quickly to overlook typical behavior, something many parents react to. I am sure that I struggled because my father (who I love dearly) was very short tempered.

Also, my father and I are diabetic, which I now understand was one of my fathers biggest problems. When I was a child I did not understand the moods associated with sugar highs and lows. I made sure that my children did and when it was became a problem I made sure they knew why mom acted as she did. When they were older, they would just grab my monitor! "Check it mom!" lol