How can people care about others & be peaceful when others in their life are selfish /greeding/competitive?

Question

I know anyone can walk away from a relationship & I recommend it most of the time. Sometimes we have to transform a relationship or a work place or a nieghborhood or a country. What actions can a person take to make peace with others when the others are greedy/selfish/ competitve/ angry/hateful? I usually look within to see where I am like the other person & forgive myself & them...what would you do? I know some would say turn the other cheek, etc. I want to know how you do this when someone is sabotages you? This is a deep question. If you don't know the answer please think about it & come up with something as if you had to do this. Fighting is not an option. Standing up for yourself is an option but how to you do that & end up in a co-operative caring relationship after you have stood up for yourself?

Answer 1

This is an amazing an truly thought-provoking question.

Making peace with others is always a difficult, awkward thing to do.

When I am in a feud with someone that erupted because of something that ends up being the fault of both of us (an argument where we both hold strong our point of view, etc.), the best thing to do is to admit to your friend that you're wrong. The argument is always about something menial anyway, and a straightforward apology is the best way, in my opinion, to resolve everything.

If I have been wronged in some way, then of course I can't say I was wrong. This is definitely a difficult situation, and confrontation is necessary. I would pray beforehand (I'm Christian, so such a thing for me can go a long way). The best place to talk to this person would be in a public place; that way an outburst is far less likely. I would then have to ask the person why he would do it, and if I did anything to trigger it. If so, I would definitely offer an apology and try to make up for it. Throughout the conversation, everything I say has to be a quiet voice. If everything is said quietly and calmly, the other person can't respond in a violent manner.

After I admit that what occurred was partially my fault, I would have to continue to say that what the other person did hurt me personally, and by this point, since I have hopefully made up for whatever I might have done wrong, the other person will attempt to do the same.

If all goes well, then the crisis is averted, and the friendship should continue stronger then before.