How can pirates stop global warming???????

Question

How can pirates stop global warming???????

Answer 1

When they meet a CO2 molecule they could go "ARRRRGGGHHHH!!!!"  

Didn't they predict pirates back in the 1970's?

Answer 2

Avast!!! Any good pirate understands the true chaos and booty that can be gotten by global warming continuing. Well not really...global warming won't change much! But let's assume that since we are fantasizing about being pirates, we can also pretend the fairy tale results shown on discovery channel are true. First benefit, more water to sail! Next Bonus, weaker governments due to combating global warming and loss of seaport defense means better pillaging. Third, warmer weather means the wenches will be wearing less clothing means easier pillaging.  Have fun me matey!!!

Answer 3

They need to breed and succeed.  The more pirates there are, the lower the temperature gets.

Just look at the graph, and remember all the recent pirate stories in the news.  More pirates and the temps go down.  It is a scientific fact.

Answer 4

Arrrr - By going after the ultimate pirate's treasure... big oil.  Aye they can put those scalawags to the sword who are raking in the cash off the backs of normal folks, killing emerging technologies that would compete and contributing to toxic air pollution through the combustion of their product.

Give me a strong wind and a patched sail any time - we'll be hijacking the tankers yes we will afore they can be running aground in a sound near you.

Arrrrr.

Answer 5

First of all the correct term now is "global climate change" because the nut cases who were campaigning against global warming found out the earth is not warming like they said it was.  And second, pirates (read:law breakers with an agenda) can try to do their dastardly deeds to stop GW, but that's only going to p**s off the rest of us who are trying to live our normal lives, and then when we see somebody doing something stupid to make a silly statement on "saving the planet" and we'll probably kick their butts and send them to the emergency room where they can sit and mull over their bumps and bruises.  Three cheers for free speech, it works both ways!

Answer 6

well they could hijack gores jet, then make the moron walk the plank,  that would help a lot right there.

course the sharks would get the bad end of the deal.

Answer 7

Well, y'know, "traditional" pirates don't really use fossil fuels, or build fancy homes on what used to be a forest, or pave roads, or waste water, or use lawn fertilizers, or....

Answer 8

The Spaghedeity says so.

"Pirates and global warming



Chart comparing Number of Pirates versus Global Warming. The labels on the x-axis may be considered deliberately misleading.According to the Pastafarian belief system, pirates are "absolute divine beings" and the original Pastafarians.[3] Their image as "thieves and outcasts" is misinformation spread by Christian theologians in the Middle Ages and by Hare Krishnas. Pastafarianism says that they were in fact "peace-loving explorers and spreaders of good will" who distributed candy to small children, and adds that modern pirates are in no way similar to "the fun-loving buccaneers from history." Pastafarians celebrate International Talk Like a Pirate Day on September 19.

The inclusion of pirates in Pastafarianism was part of Henderson's original letter to the Kansas School Board. It illustrated that Correlation does not imply causation. Henderson put forth the argument that "global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of pirates since the 1800s."[3] A chart accompanying the letter shows that as the number of pirates decreased, global temperatures increased; the absurdity of this demonstrates how statistically significant correlations do not imply a causal relationship (see confounding)."