How can putting someone down be a sign of love?

Question

Some call this taugh love.

When you get in trouble, or are simply hurt,

this person(who until now loved you) comes to you and gets angry at you for being so weak/stupid, that you are in trouble or you simply cant suck it up.

This attitude makes me so angry, i just wanna get up and leave, never to see that person again.

Love is in no way like this. This is a form of hate.

I mean if you simplify they are saying:

”if you got hurt and it hurts, i will hit you again until it stops hurting”

How can they still say they love you?

Either they are lying or are severely deranged mentally...

So people, taugh-lovers and soft-lovers, explain the logic behind this behavior, and what should i do to escape it?

Answer 1

listen to this .... http://ie.youtube.com/watch?v=f20Oz9Yr_S...

Answer 2

do not try to escape it....Leave this verbal abuser behind and get on with your life,You are worth it!!

Answer 3

Tough love is different from putting someone down all the time.

For instance, if my husband goes to prison due to possession of drugs, I will not bail him out, but I won't leave his side either. Tough love is a way to deal with the situation without enabling the other person while staying by their side.

If I found out my husband was in prison due to possession of drugs, and I yelled at him, called him stupid, then this would be considered putting someone down. Putting someone down is NOT acceptable to me. If it’s that bad, the person should get out of that relationship.

By the way, my husband has been in prison. How I choose to handle this situation is different from how other people may have handled it.

Yes I would have loved to have him home, but he needed to work this out on his own. He is doing excellent now and he says that he did better because I was by his side and being supportive!

Answer 4

Putting someone down is clearly a sign of that person's low self esteem and by yelling at YOU, they feel better - they feel like they're in charge and as if they are playing the parental role.

This is not really "love." Tough love is when you are drinking, bringing your life down and the other person does whatever it takes to  help you get your life on track - but NOT by treated you like a subordinate. Parents give tough love, too, when they see their children following an unhealthy lifestyle. But there is supposed to be a good outcome from tough love, not feeling angry and and upset.