How can this be fair?

Question

I'm 16 and I swore to my mom. She washed my mouth out with soap and than spanked me (with a hairbrush) for 45 minutes bare leaving blisters. This is not child abuse so don't say that. We we're brought up that way but we agreed no more spanking after 14. She thinks this is fair. HOW IS IT????

Answer 1

for you to be defending her, saying 'this isn't child abuse' before you've even gotten to the end of the question/issue, is a problem.... it IS child abuse, there shouldn't be blisters from your parents repremanding you... it's supposed to be a tool that will allow you to understand what you did was wrong/unacceptable... not to leave welts on your body... the reason is learning/understanding, not power and control... this is an issue i would say you should maybe bring up to your guidance counselor... seriously, this shouldn't be going on...

Answer 2

well, sorry but that is child abuse. causing injury is abuse... your mother would be best to take a parenting class and sadly she's waited sixteen years. obviously her techniques have failed if you're still swearing at her. i'm sixteen too, grow up.

Answer 3

I agree with the soap.

But I'd limit the spanks to one swat per year you are age wise.

So if you are 16, you'd get a max of 16 swats.

Why is it fair that you, at age 16 are still being disrespectful of your mother?

Answer 4

It isn't. She should keep her word and have punished you differently. And punishment is what you should have gotten for swearing at her.

Answer 5

45 minutes is a little excessive but I can't stand how some people think giving kid the power to turn in their parents for a little spanking is going to help them in the real world.

You try and stand up to your boss and guess what, you'll get fired. Then you will have no money.

Respect your elders first and then you'll get respect. An ego doesn't help you in this world.  

Answer 6

I don't care if you don't think of it as abuse, it is ABUSE! By law that constitues abuse and you don't htink of it that way because you've been brain washed to believe somehow that you deserve it as a kid. How vile is your mother? Nasty woman!

Answer 7

Was if air that you swore to you Mom?  You mistaking what is fair with what is right.  Think about it.  BTW anything other than an open hand on the butt is considered by CPS to be abuse.  

Answer 8

HAHAHA. you're not American. American parents don't give 2 s**+ts about their kids. So be glad you mom actually cares. But, I know that paddling had to hurt. Don't cuss your mom out again if you don't want your booty brushed.   XP

Answer 9

I don't think that is fair at all. Your 16 and your mom should treat you like an adult not a child. However i do think that you shouldn't have swore to your mother, be respectful to her and she will respect you back.  

Answer 10

Seems liek child abuse to me man 45 minutes idk how she didnt get tired or mamyb she buff idk but that aint fair and seriously you should tell some1 she doin that to u that seems brutal.

Answer 11

..Well then you need to be straight up to her and confront her that was not what you guys had agreed to.

Its not fair bc shes just taking advanageee that she can do that to you.

Answer 12

If what you say is true then yeah hunnie it is child abuse.  

Answer 13

still i think its unfair...if that happens to me, then i would certainly see it as an abuse...spanking are just for children but it is even discouraged and worst condemned nowadays...my parents doesn't do that to me..come on your sixteen and your not a child anymore.. you deserve a better treatment.. they must discipline you ( if thats their reason) in a more mature way like grounding you or anything that doesnt involve a piece of violence...

Answer 14

Don't swear to your mom anymore.  

Answer 15

AND THIS IS THE REASON PARENTS CANNOT PUNISH THEIR CHILDREN ANYMORE, BECAUSE KIDS LIKE YOU THINK YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU WANT. DON"T SWEAR AT YOUR MOTHER EVER! SHE RAISED YOU AND FED YOU AND CLOTHED YOU, FOR YOU TO DISRESPECT HER LIKE THAT IS TERRIBLE! I WOULD HAVE DONE THAT (MINUS THE 45 MIN SPANKING) I WOULD HAVE DONE IT A FEW TIMES AND THATS IT. AND I DON'T THINK SHE DID IT FOR FORTY FIVE MINUTES. THATS ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE. BUT I WOULD HAVE GROUNDED YOU FOR A MONTH AFTER, NO PHONE, NO CELL, NO FRIENDS. AND YOU WOULD HAVE DONE WORK THE WHOLE MONTH. YOU SHOULD APOLOGIZE TO YOUR MOTHER NOW! AND TELL YOU WERE WRONG TO SWEAR AT THE WOMAN WHO DOES SO MUCH FOR YOU!  YOUR MOTHER IS NOT WRONG YOU ARE WRONG. THIS QUESTION MAKES ME SO MAD, AND I AM NOT EVEN THAT OLD I'M ONLY 20 AND I HATE THE WAY THAT KIDS TREAT THEIR PARENTS AND GET AWAY WITH IT. MY YOUNGER SISTER THREW A 2 LITER AT MY STOMACH WHEN I WAS PREGNANT AND SAID SHE HOPES MY BABY DIES AS I WAS LEAVING TO GO TO MY HOME ONE DAY AND MY FATHER CAME IN RIGHT THEN AND HE GOT IN HER FACE TO YELL AT HER AND SHE STARTED SWEARING IN HIS FACE AND SAYING **** YOU AND THINGS LIKE THAT, AND HE GRAB RIGHT AHOLD ON HER PUT HER ON THE GROUND HELD HER THERE AND HE GAVE HER QUITE A TALKING TO. ARE YOU GOING TO TELL ME IT IS CHLID ABUSE THAT HE GRABBED HER AND THREW HER DOWN. BECAUSE IT'S NOT, IT IS PUNISHING YOUR CHILD. SHE SAID I AM CALLING THE COPS ON YOU AND HE SAID GO AHEAD THEY ARE TAKING YOU NOT ME. AND SHE STOOD THERE GOT QUITE AND WALKED IN HER ROOM. KIDS NEED TO LET THEIR PARENTS PARENT.

Answer 16

If I were 16 and my mom tried to spank me i'd probably laugh at her. How did you let her wash ur mouth out with soap? that's like a punishment for a 5 year old... not really age appropriate for a 16 year old at all. Time to update the discipline.

Answer 17

well this is actually child abuse i've seen less that was child abuse like a women push her daughter to the floor. if i swore at my mum she would tell me to shut up if i swore at my dad which i do on a regular basis he would tell me to shut up or if his annoying me and i swore at him he would still annoy me and then i would end up screaming so loud i end up hurt me ears. but believe me this is a form of physical child abuse as there are 3 i think : physical, mental, verbal so your one comes under physical.

before my mum threaten to wash my mother out with soap so did my brother but they never will or did so tell someone

Answer 18

don't take it so harsh shes probably doing it cuz thats the only she knows she can hit u with out really hurting u

anyway just try to respect ur mom more and if shes annoying just brush it off

Answer 19

No affense but ether your mom doesnt know how to keep a promise or shes a real Beoch! NO AFFENCE! She should not spank a 16 year old and im a couple years younger than you, and I dont get spanked! That stoped when I was what?, 5? Dude, when you get 18 flee from the house! ASAP!

And putting SOAP in your mouth???? What the... defenitly not cool!

Answer 20

It IS child abuse...leaving blisters....spanking for 45 min..thats "severe" and not what the reasonable prudent person would do.  Besides that if you agreed to something and she didn't abide by it-tell her that!  And if you know she will spank you for cussing...don't cuss.    

Answer 21

well, just dont say God d**n mother ****** piece **** mom! you c**k suckin piece of ***! go burn in h**l! to here and you will be golden

how the ---- (children may be present!)

is that child abuse? remember the time when there where paddles in school?! she did it cuze she doesnt want you turning into a s**t. i think child abuse is a single mum leaving her child alone in the dark in a crappy apartment to go get knocked up then come back drunk! weell thats what real child abuse is. not getting spanked and you are an ungrateful child if you call the cops just cuze she spanked you.

Answer 22

its not right and it harsh.you think its not child abuse because your used to the family rules. but failing that you know rules dont brake them. sorry can help more. sounds harsh at your age

Answer 23

if my mom did that i'd call the cops...O WAIT I DID!!!!and guess whaaaaat she doesn't do it anymore. And yes that is illegal so tech. it is child abuse sorry =/ good luck  

Answer 24

You were spanked for 45 minutes, wow mom needs to do something with her free time.

As much as I think this is a bs question....  if you aren't going to call child services on your mom for abuse.

Her house, her rules

Answer 25

Youre right, its not child abuse, more like parent abuse. I'm surprised youre able to sit at the computer at all.

Answer 26

First of all, don't swear at your mom. But I don't think it's fair. I stopped getting spanked at about 8. 16???? That's ridiculous!!!!!! And washing your mouth out with soap seems too severe and disgusting. Plus if she said no more spanking after 14 she can't take that back!!!! It's called integrity. Not fair at all!!!!!!! I feel bad for you.

Hope this helps

Answer 27

Well your mom is just exactly my dad both very stubborn and very sensetive and have anger management. Just avoid doing bad things to avoid getting hit. eleive me i lied to my dad about finsihing my home work but when he chekced i didn't do anything it grew anger on him and he punched me pulled my hair and kicked me and made me do an extra apge of maths but i deserved it and it wasn't his fault he got anger management and is very sensetive. So i try making him proud like yesterday he was really happy.

Answer 28

Yea I bet your butt was sore after that but its fair the perents are in charge.Im 15 and my parents wore my out my bare behind today for that same thing and I got 15 minutes with the paddle on the bare 1 min per year and my bottom was red and I was cryng when it was over.I dont know how to took 45 min of it.I still taste that soap and my rear-end is still pink.

Answer 29

That's abuse.  Also, a fact not many people no about is a little something called verbal abuse.  If someone even threatens you, you have the right to press charges.

Answer 30

i understand u were raised this way but 4 45min with a hairbrush thats alittle harsh but seing as u swore 2 your parents in a fit of rage they may sumtimes revert 2 old punishments my parents normally take things away but if i really get them man withought thinking they would prob hit me depending on how mad i got them

Answer 31

You are old enough that your mom can treat you like more of an adult.  she should TALK to you...not SPANK you!!!  I can't tell you how it's fair, because I DO NOT think it is fair!  Maybe your mom should get on Yahoo answers to ask people "how do I deal with my 16 year old daughter when she swears at me?"  cause she needs a new tactic.