How can we help him get his temper under control?

Question

My son is six and he looses his cool about 5-10 times a day. The reasons are usually that his 11 year old sister has set him off, or something he's trying to do has frustrated him.

We have taken away TV time, toys, and other privileges. Spanking doesn't work with him and never will. (We very rarely resort to this with either of our kids.) When we send him to time out in his room to cool down, he slams the door so hard that it knocks the picture frames off the wall.

HELP!

Answer 1

heres what u do  and i am really good with kids i no that sounds wierd but its true,ok u ask him whats bugging him and if that doesnt work u just let him go in a place where u can let him express his feelings and just let im release ALL of his anger just let him be mad and dont make him keep all that frustation inside.and thats what i would do

Answer 2

My son 10 and daughter 7 fight constantly, unless they are in co hoots and making a mess. They both have temper issues, I separate them and making them sit quietly in their rooms. My son has ADHD so we also do counseling. They still continue. I have friends with older children and from what I have seen it does not get much better. My brother and I never fought, in fact we had the same friends.

Answer 3

he needs anger  management...SERIOUSLY

Answer 4

He sounds like my 5 year old stepson and we have tried everything too. He is in therapy right now and the doctor wants to put him on medicine, which I think is a good idea because I dont want him hurting my 11 month old anymore or getting kicked out of school

Answer 5

My son and daughter (2 and 6) fight sometimes, but separating them helps.  The "good" child gets alone time with Mom and Dad and the "bad" child gets some time to reflect.  PRAISE HIM PRAISE HIM PRAISE HIM even when he gets it allll wrong, this will help him to realize that just putting in the effort is a good thing even if he fails.  Good luck and love em all the time.  There is a reason spankings don't work after awhile and that's because your child isn't "feeling the love" from the getgo and a spanking is just confirmation on that feeling! Oh, the drama with kids!

Answer 6

wow 0.0  

when he gets like that ignore him...that way he'll  cool down cause nobody is gettin there attention to him...he'll get the message

and tell da 11 year old gurl to stop bugging da kid

Answer 7

This is a very common and very difficult problem and anger management treatment might perhaps be an option.

Perhaps natural remedies might help and these, in general, don't give you the side effects that you frequently get from prescription medication.  You can find further and hopefully useful information in web searches for "anger management" + "natural remedies", "anger control" + "natural remedies" and "temper control" + "natural remedies".

There is one interesting point here that may or may not be relevant and that is that sometimes or often erratic behaviour in kids is caused by their food intake.  Table sugar apparently causes some behaviour problems and other problems in kids so if their consumption of white sugar or refined sugar is reduced it may perhaps help.  Foods such as chocolate, icecream, cakes, cookies, biscuits, lollies and many other sweet foods are loaded with added table sugar (sucrose).  The sugar in fruit is mostly fructose and that is OK but the killer sugar is fructose (table sugar).  See items 3, 17, 43, 73, 81, 107 and 119 in http://www.rheumatic.org/sugar.htm .

Answer 8

I'd speak with him when he's being good and feeling relaxed about some rule changes that are going to happen.  I'd use this time to explain to him how we handle our anger and temper when people do thigns that annoy us.  And I'd offer him this time to get anything off his chest.

Then I'd stick with one punishment and make it a time out - not in his room where his toys are, but somewhere you can see - like a corner with a stool, or, alterntively somewhere really quiet and boring were he actually has to think and can't perform a temper reaction for anyone to see.  

I'd make him sit there for 10 mins to chill out, no matter what he said or did to get out of it.  After that I'd ask him to tell me what happened.  And go over it with him: how we react to this situation.  I'd hug him, tell him I love him very much and make him and his sister apologize to each other and resume what they were doing.

I'd do it as often as was necessary each day.  If he has actual behavioural problems that simply cannot be curbed this way, so long as you're honest and don't give in or change the rules on him, then I'd seek professional help.  But if he does start to flex his patience muscles, I'd reward him.  A chart with a star and when he reaches a set amount of stars, I'd let him choose a new toy or take him to eat somewhere he wants to go etc.