How can we help our son regain his confidence?

Question

My family moved about 6 months ago. My son who is 9 years old left some very good friends behind. He is very bright, friendly and good looking. He was so popular with his former class that his classmates cried when he left. He often tell us that he was pretty much the most popular kid in his school.

Now that we have moved, he has made some friends. However, the school district is much more academically challenging than our old one and this causes some frustration for him. (Although he still gets straight As). The friends that he has made enjoy playing sports. Our son loves to play football and basketball, etc. However, he often comes home saying he isn't as good as the other kids. He is starting to become the target of some teasing. Just yesterday one of his friends was conspiring with another boy to shoot a rubber band at his face!

Our son is losing confidence. He is starting to cry when he comes home. We are so sad for him. What can we do to help him through this?

Answer 1

Get him in some sort of boxing or karate class then they might think twice about teasing him.

Answer 2

Ask him what his favorite sport is that the other boys play, and get him lessons and join a team out of school.

He'll get better without the other boys around him, and he'll feel better when he is just as good as the others.

Tell the teachers what's going on- your son will then feel a sense of security.

good luck!

also give your son lots of praise for his good marks, tell him that he's special

Answer 3

Ok, you need to let him know that other peoples opinions about him doesn't mean anything. when someone teases him, he should just ignore it or say something about it himself (  for example, if they say he is short, then he should be like yeah i know but what does that matter ) he needs to go with the flow, he shouldn't be ashamed  of who he is, he needs to focus on school work and not worry about the bullys, when trying to make friends just be who he is, find friends who will support him and be good friends.

Answer 4

These kind of matters are very serious things. I guess he isn't use to the kind of environment that he once was in.



I think it would be best if you help him in sport practices or even send him to lessons and tell him that if he lets other people lose his confidence then he loses everything else.

Tell him its okay to cry and everyone loses confidence once in a while, but if he tries it off as nothing and ignores the kids, then the kids wouldn't even think of teasing him no more.

And even if you do this, and do all the other things everyone else on this forum and he stil doesn't regain confidence... I think it would be best to move back...

Answer 5

First things first.  Make sure emotions aren't feeding the problem.  Every parent wants their kid to be the smartest, best looking and most athletic and it hurts really bad when you suspect (or know) that your child is struggling to be recognized as "excellent" amongst his piers.  However, it is absolutely essential that while your son is accustom to being the winner, he must also learn how to navigate social challenges.  In the real world we aren't always liked and accepted.  Look at this as an opportunity for him to mature and make real choices of friends.  Continue to encourage and support him.  Get to know some of the parents of his current acquaintances to help defray any potential bullying.  Allow this to be a time of growth for both of you.  Mom give him all the love and attention that you want, but let him learn to work this out on his own.

Answer 6

i dont think there's much you can do, other than practicing sports with him to help him get better. let him know that you can help him with his homework if he wants help.