How can we honor my FH grandma who is still living at our wedding next summer?

Question

My fiance's grandma has lived with him and his family his entire life and she practically raised him as a 3rd parent. She is still living as of now and we want to come up with a way to honor her. My fiances mom suggested he have a special dance with her, but I am saying no to that because my father died and I will have no special dance, so him having 2 dances (one with mom and one with grandma) would seem a bit in excess. So that is out. (please no rude comments on that issue, this is not the question I am asking).

Anyway, does anyone have any ideas for what we can do for her?

Thanks.

Answer 1

When you do your thank you speech perhaps you can make special mention of her then. You two could also have a special gift for her then as well.

Answer 2

special toast

Answer 3

why can't you dance with the person giving you away and then with his father. or  your grandfather or any of the ushers. make it a prearranged thing so no one is surprized or turns you down in front of everyone. there is no reason to be jealous or annoyed over honoring his grandmother. if she has been a part of the family in the same house all her life there is no harm in making her and the rest of his family happy too. just think u could have the choice to dance with any man there!!!  if i missed the point then what is the real question then.

Answer 4

Give her a nice coursage, have her seated before the ceremony like the parents, and have your husband dance with her at the reception, but don't make it a "special" announced dance. He can take the time during the dance to tell her how much she means to him. That's great that she was such a big part of his life and she is so special to him, but I don't think there's a need to make a big production about honoring her. Your wedding is about celebrating your marriage, and I'm sure she wants it to be about the two of you, not her.  

Answer 5

You could have a message on the back of your programs for family and friends that you would like to thank. Include a sentence or two about his grandmother.

Another way would be to honor her in the speeches.

Or have the DJ or band dedicate a song to her (it doesn't have to be a special dance, just a song during the general dancing period).

Answer 6

On the back cover of the wedding program, make (a list of?) honors that begins with Grandma and includes some kind words. Other names you might include, under the title "in memoriam" would be significant loved ones who have died, such as your father.

BTW, be sure Grandma is included in all pre-nuptual activities, as tho she were a member of the wedding party; including corsage at the wedding, and is seated right before the parents are at the church.

Answer 7

Treat her just like a parent, with the ushering, corsage, ask her to make a special speech...He can still dance with grandma at the wedding...You dont have to have it planned as a "special dance". She will fill honored, just as your parents will, dont go overboard and enjoy your day!

Answer 8

Hi and congratulations!

I am sorry that your father will not be with you on your day.  Are you doing anything to remember your father?  Lighting a special candle with his picture next to it?  I think that would be nice.

Anyway....your question.  NO, I do not think that your groom having a dance with his mom and one with his grandmother is "a bit in excess," but if you think so....that is your choice.

Question:  Have you thought about dancing with YOUR mom?  Plenty of brides do this.  My daughter-in-law did at her wedding to my son.  She opted for this instead of her biological dad (not much in her life), or her step-dad because it was her mom who raised her.  I think this would be a nice honor to your mom also.

To honor the grandmother.  My thoughts are:

~ if you are having programs, definitely list her name.

~ definitely get her a corsage and have her escorted up the aisle....right before the groom's mom and your mom.

~ perhaps during the toasts, your groom could do a special toast to his grandmother....I think that would be nice.

Answer 9

i would have the usher seat her at the same time his mother is walked in to be seated. could even have 1 usher for both at same time, one on each arm.  

Answer 10

Well you can start by making sure she's mentioned on the invitation.  Check with your printer and see how they usually deal with stepparents in the wording....Mr & Mrs. Smith along with Grandma Smith would like....something like that.  Seat her at the family table and have whoever's doing speeches mention her.

Answer 11

I really like what Miss Manners had to say about the wedding dances in her column a week or two ago. It's the perfect solution to your problem about who dances with who, and how long. I LOVED this answer. Mainly because I've been forced to sit there and watch too many dances that go on forever at too many wedding receptions. Let the bride and groom dance and get on with the party!

But about your fiances' grandmother: If you're having a rehearsal dinner, when you guys thank your parents for their "love and support" through the years, thank the grandmother as well. If you're having programs at the wedding, then put a special note of thanks there as well if you are thanking the parents. Basically, thank her every time you thank the parents for anything.