How can we make our children study hard without pushing them doing that?

Question

How can we make our children study hard without pushing them doing that?

Answer 1

I think we have to find a way to get our children interested in learning.  I am not sure learning really "sticks" when we aren't all that interested in it.

I do believe teaching children to see a task through from start to finish, do their best, take pride in a job well done - that gives them the discipline and character to accomplish whatever they need to in life.  However, I don't believe in cramming a person's head with facts.

I was a straight A student in school, all the way through college.  In fact, I graduated with honors from a very good University with a perfect 4.0 GPA.  The thing is, I didn't learn very much.  I was disciplined enough to study and memorize information for my tests, and I wrote well enough to score highly on paper, but not much true learning took place.

I have noticed that when I give my children plenty of free time, place interesting educational materials around, and eliminate television or video games, my children will create their own learing experiences.  Because these are projects that they are interested in, I don't have to force them to study hard.

As an adult, nobody forces me to study.  I find something I'm interested in and want to know more about, and I go about finding information on it.  In reading that info, I may find something else I want to know more about, and so on.

I spent hours upon hours learning about homeschooling because it is something I am interested in.  I have spent the last 3 months creating a website because it is something I am passionate about.  I am a big believer in internal motivation.

You may want to try some of the following activities to spark your children's interests in writing, history and science, and see if that prompts them to study on their own:

http://www.successful-homeschooling.com/...

http://www.successful-homeschooling.com/...

http://www.successful-homeschooling.com/...

You may also want to do some research on unschooling:

http://www.successful-homeschooling.com/...

If your children HAVE to study for a test or something, then teach them how to do it productively.  Some children don't study well because they haven't been taught how to study.

I am also a big believer in learning styles.  Try to find out how your child learns and provide that type of stimulation.  I have a child who loves reading and workbooks, and loves to pick them up when they're laying around.  That would not work for a kinesthetic learner, but it's perfect for this particular child.

Answer 2

The trick is making them WANT it for themselves. Give choices and set clear goals. Often, I find if I show interest in what my daughter is learning, she becomes more interested. Also, if I have my own projects and she has different ones, she will work harder just to have something to discuss later. I don't learn certain things along with her, so that she can teach me and others later. Kids like knowing something you don't and they like having something to bring to the table in conversation. I have no secret weapon in my homeschooling arsenal more powerful than Dad. If Dad asks her what she has planned that day and suggests a reading assignment, calls home from work to ask what she's working on, sits with her for 15 min. at bedtime and reads with her or talks about what she's been studying, my child works harder. It takes a grand 45 min. out of his day and it keeps my kid excited about learning. My theory is that whichever parent is home least, develops a quasi-celebrity status. I exploit that status. I also enlist my friends in this way. When people you respect show an interest in your work, the work seems more valuable and you naturally take more pride in it.

   Which is all a very nice way to say: manipulate them. It is less work and more effective than pushing.

Answer 3

the sylvan learning center

that place is boss

Answer 4

By giving them two options

Continue and WORK or go back to Public School WORK and FOLLOW the silly rules!

Homeschool is for SELF-STARTERS only!

Answer 5

Simply FORCE them to in any matter but pushing.

Answer 6

Time spent studying does not necessarily reflect learning.

In my last biology class, I spent at least an hour a day working on assignments, doing research, or trying to get help from my friends. I failed the class and took literally nothing away from it. Well, not nothing; a fetal pig's small intestine is about as long as my friend Joe  was tall, when he was about 12.

Now I spend about half an hour a day listening to college-level biology lectures, and I'm really fired up about it. It's only about 30 minutes, but I'm really learning and I really like it.

Judge by assignments and quality, not by time spent. In fact, if your kid is spending two hours a day to write a one-page essay, that means he's probably having trouble with something and needs some help.

You can't make someone do something without pressure.

Usually the issue isn't that we (teenagers) don't want to learn, it's that the material is boring. I'm an auditory learner; I hear something once, and I remember it. I read quickly and well, but I learn best from lectures. For me, a biology lecture is great, especially if I have a way to let off all my extra energy -usually I use one of those stress balls- so I don't go bonkers from having to sit still for an hour and a half. (Three lectures, 30 minutes apiece.) My mom learns best from reading. Lecture notes are better than lectures for her, and she retains a lot from reading.

If you make an auditory learner sit down with a book, or a print learner futz with a model of the human heart, or a kinesthetic learner sit still and listen to a lecture, you're going to have a very bored, very frustrated person who isn't learning much.

A learning styles test will make everything much clearer. Very often, parents and kids will have completely different styles. My mom and sister are polar opposites, and they used to fight all the time about school work. Now my mom lets my sister do stuff her way, and she's gone through half the canon of Shakespeare in about two months. (And Ovid's Metamorphoses, and Dante's Inferno.) Ultimately, everyone learns *something* from every kind of presentation -it's a myth that kinesthetic learners can't get something from a lecture- but you can save yourself a lot of time and trouble if you spend 20 minutes taking a learning styles evaluation.

What works for your kid might not necessarily work for you, but you're not the one doing the assignments.

Answer 7

If they aren't motivated or disciplined to do their studying on their own, then the only way to get them to do it is to push them.  It's okay to push your kids to do better, to work harder, and to expect more of themselves... in fact, it is our jobs as parents to do just that.  So be pushy if you have to, your child deserves it!!

Answer 8

You can't MAKE somebody do something without pushing them to do it.

You can show them how enjoyable learning is, or help them see the benefits. You can work with them to set goals and even work with them on their studying. The idea is to get the desire WITHIN THEM to study, not to have somebody else "make" them do it.

Do keep in mind that we are all different. Just because you value studying doesn't mean that your child will. At least, perhaps not value the same things to be studied.

Answer 9

If you try to make them do anything they won't see the pleasure or fun in it and probably just rebel.

Personally I think you should try to get them interested in what they're studying...try to interact with them and ask them about what they're reading...every night just make it a routine where you talk about stuff...even if you already know the answers to the stuff they're learning...act suprised, let them "teach" you.

I think another big thing would be to help their confidence.  Make them feel they're knowledgable in the field.  This will help pique their interest!

Answer 10

It's something they need to be raised with; they need to see the point in studying.  If they don't, if they think that it's pointless, they won't study hard no matter what we do.

They need to have a personal stake in their education.  They need to see a reason to work, study and learn.  That is easiest to instill when they're young, but still possible when they're older; you need to find what's important to them (as far as future plans) and cause them to see how studying fits into that picture.

Edit - I completely agree with Azathoth.  Learning style has sooo much to do with how a child learns and how willing they are to study.  If I made my auditory/kinesthetic learner sit down and just read a book, he'd get the general gist of what's going on, but he wouldn't be all that jazzed about it.  However, if I allow him to watch a movie, listen to an audio book, and build a model or re-enact a scene...my gosh, the kid could teach a class on whatever he's learning.  It's just amazing.