How can you accept stones thrown on you by a loved one.....?

Question

psbhowmic... you said in a light manner but its the most practical way to deal with such things....

Answer 1

if they truly loved you they would be flowers not stones. . .you need to take a serious look at your relationship . . .

Answer 2

throw some stones back, yep that would make me feel better

Answer 3

Stone thrown by loved ones, out of love?  Does it mean, we go on receiving it, out of love, or do we respond appropriately, without becoming a doormat, or is it a conundrum?

My viewpoint would be to not accept them in any case, as we only teach others how to treat us, and this would give out a clear message that flowers are always welcome, and so if they want to make a point across to you, they need to get over their own ego, and then approach you with love, and yes it includes respect as an essential, as without it love is really a flimsy teenage notion. And when you respect someone, would you really throw stones at anyone?

Now that you seem to be willing to look deeper, perhaps each stone is also wrapped in a message slip, if you are careful enough, you can read that too, and grow from a stone thrown at you as well...A message that your loved one, wouldn't find it easy get across, though if you open communication channels between the two, so that messages can be shared in a non-threatening fashion, for we threaten only when we feel threaten ourselves, we hurt another only when we feel powerless ourselves, and need to take someone else's power to get our sense of power back. So with that knowledge things could work out better between you two.

Also when you see that stone throwing is becoming regular, notice how you respond to you, do you fight back, or stand away from and allow your partner to see his or her childish manners. In any case, onus to change the dynamics of any relationship always lies upon us, as therein lies our power.

Without taking charge of our relationship we might end up becoming the victim in them, whereas we want to have an empowering relationships, which is the only point in having a long lasting relationship anyway, and for that reason, most love relationships are challenging as without the reward of love, who would want to invest in self growth?

Also watch out where do you throw stones, at yourself through self-criticism, and also at others, watch out for the stone you throw, as hurt equally bad. An experience of lack of compassion, always teaches us how to bring in, more compassion into our lives.

Answer 4

Accept that we are all in development and we all have weaknesses.

If a loved one throws stones on you, you do not need to catch the stones or get harmed by the stones. It can help you get stronger, set appropriate boundaries, help you grow and you might want to find ways how to help your loved one to change.

I found this always very difficult when this happened to me, as it seems to hurt us more then if stones are thrown at us from a stranger.

But in hindsight I see it offered opportunities for getting stronger, wiser and to learn to forgive and also to change myself.

Answer 5

You must mean you love them because if they loved you they would not throw stones AT you

you may want to reevaluate your relationship

life is to short to spend one day unhappy

Oh and Yes I can accept the stones if they also cushion them with love and understanding but I dont have to like it or stick around for the second rock

Answer 6

They are people too who don't know any better than any one else.  The fact that you know them personally obstructs this from being seen.  You can accept it as how things are or choose not to put up with it.  How you deal with it is really up to you.

Answer 7

STONES THROWN ON ME WITH LOVE BECOME

GARLANDS OF FLOWERS

Answer 8

It depends on how much you earned the stones being thrown.

Pick your euphamism, i. e. ; we reap what we sow, what goes around comes around, etc. etc. If you are getting verbally abused or ignored by loved ones, then ask yourself what you may have done to earn it? If you truly believe you are in the clear, then demand an explantion for the behavior being shown to you and demand that it stop, unless the person doing this has a good excuse for continuing. Then at that point try to come to some understanding and end the misery for the two of you, up to and including, separation.

Answer 9

Lords' Prayer.

it makes it easy.

(((k.s.)))

Answer 10

Duck your head and turn your back. If you do not want to accept the stones flung at you; then walk away from the "sinless" who toss them your way.

You don't have to pick the stones up and throw them back; but then you don't have to stay within firing range of the self righteous either!

So duck and turn or walk away.

Answer 11

Simply by catching the stones so that they don't hurt.

Answer 12

Its hard to take or deal with such a situation as it hurts deeply and yes for sure at times it takes ages to heal the wound caused by that...but then learning that everyone is not the same ..everyone has different perspectives...we cannot enforce anyone to remain the same even if they are our loved ones....the best way out is take it graciously as and be happy that you are not in their place...be happy at the thought that u are blessed with the capability to love and not hate or hurt and then i strongly believe in 'what goes round comes round '..though i wont and will never even think of anything bad coming down to my loved one but then God and nature has his own way of dealing with insensitivity ......U do your job ..He will do His....