How can you adopt without an adoption agency?

Question

I was wondering if there is any organizations out there that put people who want to adopt in contact with people who want someone to adopt their child without having to go to an adoption agency. Adoption agencies are so expensive! In a perfect world, I would meet someone pregnant who, for whatever reason, could not keep the baby and they would just let me have it. I know that is over simplifying it, but you get the point. My husband and I want a second child very badly, but I keep miscarrying. Please help!

Answer 1

There are.... BUT be careful. Have you seen that dateline where people that are overweight pretend to be pregnant, and take thousands of dollars. They say they're in labor, and then ask the parents to meet her at the hospital, and then they skip town.

If you do this, please get a lawyer and make sure everything's legal.

On dateline I had to watch these people with full nursery's full of toys and baby stuff, and then get told there was never a baby :( It makes me cry just thinking about it.

I would go through an agency.

Answer 2

Definitely pursue adoption through the foster system if you are concerned about finances.  It is the most affordable option, even less than if you just "found someone" as you stated.

Best of luck to you!

Answer 3

Adopting a child is not a quick fix to your own physical problems carrying a child.  This is something you must look into very carefully.  Research, research, research.  Look into forums of other women who relinquished their children and "listen" to some of their painful stories.  Look into adoptee forums and "listen" to their painful stories.  Either way, you will need to do this legally.  A woman looking to relinquish cannot just simply sign a piece of paper and give you her baby.  

There are some women who will not relinquish unless they are allowed some form of contact.  Are you willing to share the child's life with their natural mother and/or father?  Do you plan to never tell the child they are adopted, or do you plan on having the child grow up knowing they are adopted?  This is not something to just jump into.  Can you devote your time and energy to a child that is not biologically yours?  Are you prepared for whatever issued the child may have because of their adoption?  Have you looked into foster care?  Foster care is low to no cost and those children are truly in need of good stable homes.  Adopting a newborn is ripping them away from the one place they feel secure, their mother.  Adoption is not about finding a baby for a needy couple, it is about finding a good home for a needy child.

Answer 4

You don't

Answer 5

We networked with all of our friends, told them that we wanted to adopt, especially my teenage son's friends, and one of the girls came to me and said her mom's best friend was pregnant and couldn't keep it.

Our little Jacob is now 7 months old, very, very happy baby, who reaches for me all the time.  He is beautiful, and although there were a few small problems, we had a good attorney who legally got everything done (thank God we hired her to do it, because we almost didn't get a signature from the bmom's husband (not the dad) and he later threatened us when she filed for divorce).    We had to have a home study, which we had mostly completed before the social worker got to the house, and therefore saved a lot of money.  Our adoption was less than $1100.00 total, and even if it had taken every penny we had, it would have been worth it.  

DHS has so many kids that need homes.  We did private adoption, because I'm 41, and couldn't adopt a baby being that age.  Now we want to adopt a little bit older girl (2-10 years old).  There shouldn't be fees, however, you'll need to take some parenting courses they offer, still have a home study (theirs are free).  You can request newborn, however, they are very hard to come by, and will usually be hard to place because of addiction/alcohol abuse.  You also have a chance of that with private adoption (our bmom took a dose of meth in order to try to force herself into labor, luckily he's perfect anyway!)   Good luck!

Answer 6

You can either go through your local childrens services agency and do an adoption that way, it is free in most states.  Or you could go through an attorney but that can be expensive too unless you personally know an adoption attorney.  Either way you go there has to be legal councel involved to make sure everything is legal.  It is easy for you to get screwed over unfortunatly if you try to do it all yourself, that is how these scammers work that will promise babies to more than one person at a time.  There is still courttime involved and courtfees no matter how you go. So if you would like to adopt but want to go a less expensive route look into local county/state adoptions.  If you do happen to find someone that needs to give up their baby then you will need to find a lawyer to handle all the paperwork and court stuff.

Answer 7

While searching the internet about  adoption, I read an experienced mom's post that adoption papers can be filed at the county courthouse for as little as $20.  Perhaps, you should simply ask at your local courthouse or family servies agency.  Foster care is an inexpensive way to adopt, but this will typically be older children.   I understand your reasoning - middle income families should be able to adopt, too!

Answer 8

While I sympathize with your miscarriages, you are oversimplifying the situation.  Going through a reputable agency protects you, the mother, and, most importantly, the child.  

In a perfect world, no child would be given up by its mother.

Answer 9

You can adopt one of the more than 100,000 children waiting in the foster care system for a new family.  These children NEED new families, and in most states, it's free.  Contact your local DHS office and ask for info on their process when you're ready to adopt.

In the meantime, please do some research on adoption from the adoptee's point of view.  You could get yourself in a huge mess here with legal issues if you don't go through the proper channels, and adoption SHOULD be a way to provide children with families, not adults with a child because they can't have one on their own.  There are emotional issues that need to be dealt with on all sides.  If you are not prepared for these things, you could/would be harming not only yourself, but your child, and your child's first family, for the rest of your lives.  Please take this slow, and learn a LOT before moving forward.  Might I suggest sticking around here for awhile, listening to some of the adult adoptees and what they have to say, and reading some books like The Primal Wound and Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew.

I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 10

your local childrens aid society does and its free to foster to adopt

Answer 11

I know it is expensive.  However, much of the reasons for the costs is because there are regulations that are intended to protect all of the parties involved.  If it could be done without lawyers or certified agencies, then it is likely that some part of "the triangle" will be unprotected.