How can you be happy when your purpose in life is to make others happy?

Question

have been struggling for a long time. I was in denial about it, but I can't run from it. I feel like I can't escape other peoples pain and saddness unless I try to help them. It's so weird, almost like being in their shoes, literally. SO i am never happy cause there are so many sad people out there. How do I escape?

Answer 1

i can relate... i felt as you did until i meditated on this Biblical verse:  love others as you love yourself.

the question then is how do you love yourself? how do you show love for yourself?  until you are able to fully love yourself, you will always be lacking in your love for others.

it's not about being selfish. it's about finding your goodness and sharing that to the world. when you truly love yourself, you will not do anything evil or selfish as you know that you will be hurt, maybe not immediately but eventually.  once you learn that, you just treate others as you would treat yourself.

Answer 2

I try and not read the other answers so that I am not influenced by their opinion.  Therefore if it sounds like everyone els you have heard...it is because we think alike.  AS Humans..we need empathetic souls.  There is no such a thing as a pain killer.  If you can feel for someone other than yourself.  You can communicate with their struggle, and be that pain killer in one form or another.  Don't try to escape it...learn how it works...and make your living happier from knowing that just going for a walk may set up up for a healing session accredited in another realm.  Your struggles as an empathic are far reaching.  Escape suggests that you have not yet found your reliever.  Just because you are an empathic soul, does not suggest that you should be walked upon for your talents.  Take some credit for this, and claim your relief.

Answer 3

YOU HAVE TO PLEASE YOURSELF AS YOU CAN NEVER PLEASE OR HELP EVERYONE YOU WILL DRIVE YOURSELF MAD TRYING

Answer 4

Start worrying about the animals.They'll appreciate it more.

If you help people and they don't appreciate it..you WON'T be happy. But , if they appreciate it...that will make you happy. Animals always appreciate help.

Edit..I think John Dean is right. Sometimes we become doormats. ..or servants. You might have too much Empathy.You can't carry other people's pain around with you. You could end up with a nervous breakdown. Try to give donations so other people can help them. Their happiness is not totally dependent on you. Obviously , they're not making you happy. You need to find something that makes YOU happy before you miss your own life. Besides..who told you that this was your "purpose in life" ???

Answer 5

Helping others is the greatest good. Of course you should feel good about doing good. Don't allow yourself to feel bad about doing good. The Book of John in the New Testament can set things right. Noone can 'do it all', so don't expect perfection. Fight the good fight, as Paul puts it. God bless!

Answer 6

you are not responsible fo every body else ,help those u can ,without harming yourself .if u don't look after uself u'll burn out and not be good for them or you.

so,take care of yourself first then others.a good way to escape and re-charge u batteries is to spend at least one week doing things that give u pleasure .music,walking ,animals ,dancing ,friends,hobies..etc...take care x*x

Answer 7

Well, I think it's supposed to sort of make you forget about your own problems if you're worrying about someone else and also the sense of satisfaction from knowing that you help others.

My question is...If your purpose in life is to make others happy, what's their purpose lol? ;-) (JK)

Answer 8

No matter how hard you try, there will always be sad people in the world.

You can not help it, people are made with that emotion. you can not save everyone from that.

but as a consolation you have at least made a difference by trying to help those that you can reach, that at least should give you a sense of fulfillment and thus give you happiness.

Answer 9

Making others happy will make you happy.  The only way to make people happy is to lead them to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ.  The only way to do that is for you to know Him yourself.  Read the book of John.

Answer 10

my life is the same. i dont have even one friend. i am always sad but i never show it out side because i know there is know point because no one cares. every one seems to judge me before they even get to know me. i try and be really friendly but no one is intrested to be a friends. i am now tring to join the UN and hopefully go some were like africa or some thing. may be people there will apreciate me. in short you have to be very lucky to be happy.

Answer 11

Sound like, you are involuntary doing the jobs. Just get out of that sparse.

All right you can not run away from your responsibilities but you have you own life to live. What good is it anyway if you yourselves become a sad person and need helps?  It would make this society become heavier with grieve and suffering.

Put yourself first for the first time to survive before becoming a lumber.

Answer 12

your mirroring their sadness. Feeling their pain helps you understand them, but makes you feel sad in the meantime. If you didn't go down to their level they wouldn't even let you in to try and understand them, people trust and relate better to you if your feeling sad too, you know this subconsciously.

  Turn the switch on them, and be your happy self. They'll still want to be close to you, but now they'll have to take in your happy state of mind (get it?)

    That is how you make them happy, you have to be happy yourself, and remember it's always their choice, and you don't have that much power over someone elses feelings, don't let yourself take on a responsibility where you really have no control over.

Edit: John's right, some people actually enjoy being miserable.

Answer 13

the idea is supposed to make you happy. It sounds like you are in a bad situation I don't hang with sad people in there

Answer 14

You sound like a very sympathetic person.  However, in the interest of your happiness and sanity, you really do need to work on separating your life from the lives of others.  You can participate to a degree in the effort to improve the world, but there is only so much you can do.

Answer 15

if u help them and they are happy ,that feeling of doing a great job will fill u with eternal happiness.

Answer 16

You put other people happiness before yours. Your purpose in life is to make sure other people are having a good time. You don't matter. Find a great behavioral psychiatrist of the same s*x; You will never escape because you are who you are...however, through therapy you can win a battle here and there. I wish I knew you because you sound like me!

Answer 17

your purpose in life will always be something that gives you great joy.

right now, you're just being a doormat for other people. contact and connect with your inner "bee-otch" and instead find some other form of contributing to the world that makes you happy.

nobody's purpose involves making themselves unhappy. if you're unhappy about it, something's going wrong. =)

Answer 18

Learn a little bit of apathy, realize it is not your job to fix the world. It is everyone's responsibility collectively.  Sometimes it is a good thing not to care. Only help those that want help. Don't help those that have constant problems. If someone can help themselves in time, just wait for them to do it themselves. And always remember to take a break. Sometimes you need a vacation and don't let others know where you are at. I do think it is good that you want to help others. Don't let other people get you down. Concentrate on what is good about life and your life.

Answer 19

First you (and anyone else) can not make even a single other person happy that is up to them. You may help a person laugh,smile or comfort them in a time of need or even help them view something from a different perspective. However, you have no power to make anyone follow your advice or help themselves in ways you think might be best for them.

One of the saying in mental health is that you can't help people that don't wish to be helped. (the only exception is when they are an immediate danger to their self or others).

Second, given the above I very much doubt that God, the Universe, Fate, or You (whatever you believe in) would give you a purpose in life which you (and everyone since the dawn of mankind) are doomed to failure.

Third, there is certainly nothing wrong with wanting to help people and relieve some suffering. There are numerous careers dedicated to helping people.

However, when you offer your help and it is rejected you must move on (they do not choose your help) and when you have reasonable done everything you can you have to accept that all your efforts may not be enough. For instance think about doctors that treat cancer patients and brain tumors where people routinely die despite extraordinary efforts.

Your happiness (just like everyone else) has to come from within you.

I would suggest at least considering speaking to a licensed mental health counselor or psychologist if it is bothering you to the point of disturbing your ability to function in any way (school, work, home life, etc.)

Psi

Answer 20

when your upset about that stuff just tell your self

i have a good life

i have awesome friends

i AM happy

Answer 21

suicide!

Answer 22

If it was really your 'purpose' in life...it would make you happy. Do you find it fullfilling when the people you help find happiness?

Answer 23

It's very difficult to feel happiness or self satisfaction when you're basically living for or catering to other people exclusively. It's great to help people but you need to look after yourself as well.

Answer 24

I've been in the same situation many times before, but as others have said you have find some sort of leverage between you and the pain so that it won't swell up inside of you. For example, I've found that meditation works. (There are many ways to meditate, not just in the lotus position, I'll give you a link for some ways.) Also, having a positive look on your world and how you interact with it is a good leverage.

A good pointer, try to hang out with people you know are happy and have a positive attitude (or at least one of these characteristics) because if you always hang out with the depressed and worry-warts you'll will always feel the same. Trust me you don't want to feel that pain all the time.