How can you get a 5 year old to mind you and not be so mean?

Question

MY FRIEND HAS A DAUGHTER WHO CAN JUST TURN ON AND OFF THE CHARM. IF YOU TELL HER TO DO SOMETHING SHE HAS AN EXCUSE. "I'LL DO IT WHEN I GET DONE." BUT THEN IT NEVER HAPPENS. SHE'S MEAN TO HER BROTHER. SHE WILL PICK HIM UP AND WHEN YOU TELL HER TO PUT HIM DOWN AND GO TO GET HIM, SHE WILL THROW HIM BACKWARDS. THATS JUST THE BEGINING. CAN ANYONE HELP?

Answer 1

The key is consistency. Pick one way to punish her when she is bad (timeout or having a privilege taken away, like no dessert, or take a toy away or something), but if she is bad once and throws a fit and the parents or guardian gives in "just this once" just to make her calm down, she is quickly learning that she'll get away with it again. Kids are smart and know how to push our buttons! Consistency consistency consistency!!! Put her in timeout EVERY TIME. She'll soon learn the difference between yes and no, right and wrong, good and bad.

Answer 2

Do you have some hickory trees around your house? They make nice switches. Also, a flyswat would work for minor offenses. ^.^

But seriously, if she is that bad, a swat or 2 on the leg might work (with a hand, shes too young for switches), esp. once she understands what will happen if she acts up. I know im gonna get alot of flaming for this, but its what my parents did for me, and it sure as h**l made me mind.

Well, obviously its not your kid, you don't need to spank her, but her mother should.

Answer 3

yeah stay out of it, its not your problem, its the parents, if they want to change they can do so by watching nanny 911 or supernanny

but you cant raise someone elses kids, its up to them to do something about it...time outs works

like this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZefXwIMxh...

nd here is another sounding similar to what you describe

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aj0u8aZ-5...

Answer 4

Are you asking for yourself or for help for the mother?  

If you babysit the child, pick one disapline and stick to it.  Be stern, but kind.  Do not loose your temper and yell.  

When she acts up, talks back, acts any way other then she should, give her the consequence right away.  Since she's five and more than able to understand cause and effect, explain to her what she did and it's not okay, and *this* is what happens when she does it.

Since this is not your child, I would suggest time-out.  For a five-year-old time out should not be any longer than 5 minutes long for one offence.  Time should start when child is calmly in time-out.  Time should stop if child is screaming, throwing a fit, or leaves the time-out area.  Do not talk to her when she's in time-out...if she leaves the area, just put her back in.  Do not keep explaining.  Only explain once.

When this is first started it WILL be an all-day battle.  The child will be in time-out countless times.  You, as the adult, have to be consistant, tireless and on top of things.  

This next thing might be the MOST important!  The very first time that she goes to time-out without a fight, let her sit for a shorter ammount of time, then get her and praise her for going!!!  Then find something fun but simple to do together (like coloring).  Spend TIME with the child that will re-enforce that good things happen when you are good.

Of course, this will work MUCH better if you and her parents are all doing it.  But at least she will learn to behave while you are watching her if you do it.  

On the other hand...if her mother doesn't know...she might go running back to mama with the "she was mean" story....so be sure to talk to the mother!!!