How can you handle a spouse that is continuously con condescending towards you?

Question

There is no way I wouldn't ever split up the family, but putting up with her condescending remarks is hard to do. I have talked to here about on many occasions, to no avail.i feel a wedge between us as I just don't feel attracted anymore, but leaving is not an option. There has to be a way to get more respect, she has a collage degree and I do not.

Answer 1

well I'm in a similar relationship except I have the degree (only an associates) and my husband doesn't.  I would mimic him and make little comments here and there on wrong usage of words his small vocabulary and how he'd use double negatives etc...  Well it took me a second after he told me how he felt till i got it and then I felt horrible.  I love him VERY MUCH and didn't not realize how mean and flat out hurtful I was being.  

I guess I subconsciously justified those comments by his comments.  he'd joke around about how I couldn't open jars drive a stick how i don't know the difference between tools.  well once i thought about it i really feel bad because he was just playing around and i was putting him down.

Maybe there are little things that your doing that's pushing her think about it then talk to her again.  

She's a women so come from an emotional angel.  saying "i would never put you down like you have with me" will get you further than "could you please just stop"

Good Luck

Answer 2

hahaha ..she has complex of bing more educated then you , she dont know personal life needs love not degree...go and show her my answer hope she will undersand if she is wise enough ,if not then leave her...she dont deserves you!!!!

Answer 3

that's why she probably treats u that way. but then that is selfish of her to even think that she is better than u. ask her does she feel that she can treat u any way because she has a degree and u don't. i would suggest a heart to heart talk with her let her know how u truly feel and just put ur foot down don't tolerate disrespect from her at all. u are the man of the house grow some balls and stand up for yourself. (now don't be demanding or rude) but just let her know that she cannot run over u like that.

Answer 4

She was like this before you married her, but you are a p***y, so that's why you put up with it.  So if you didn't have the balls before you got married, there's little chance you will get the balls now to leave.

So basically just shut up and deal with it, it's your creation.

Answer 5

Well you don't have to take that from anyone. Just because someone has a college degree is not reason to talk down to someone. My husband has way more degree's than I have and he treats me with respect. You say that leaving is not an option but you need to realize that no one deserves to be miserable. Good luck.  

Answer 6

You can simply say, I don't appreciate it when you talk to me like that and I will no longer tolerate it.  It's inappropriate and it causes me to feel ill feelings toward you and it has driven a wedge between us.  If you don't respect yourself and stand up to her, she will bully you.  When you show her that it is not something you tolerate any longer, she may respect you more.  When she starts in, remind her, no, I am not listening to this, if you want to talk to me, use appropriate language.  You don't have to have a college degree to be intelligent.  She is fortunate to have it, but it doesn't make her better than you.  

Answer 7

Is she generally condescending or just to you?

My husband has a condescending personality, although its not intentional and he has learned over the years (after my smart a$$ responses) to be more self aware. So now he's a lot more "human" so to speak.

All I can really suggest is talking to her thoughrougly about it. Perhaps even telling her that, like you said, you're not feeling attracted. A condescending person isn't attractive at all. Plus maybe you've got some issues of feeling inferior to her (NOT that you are). Maybe you could use a therapist, someone to sit and listen to you without judgement.

Best of luck.

Answer 8

It doesn't sound like she cares, so why do you.  It's sounds like a never ending battle.  THe only thing in can say is see a counselor if you care so much and maybe she would try and go if she knew it meant something to you and that you didn't wnt to continue to live like this.

Answer 9

tell her that if a college degree makes her better than people who don't, she's not so smart after all....

Answer 10

Maybe some family counciling would help?