How can you have a simple wedding with 2 huge families? I want to elope but I know it would hurt feelings.?

Question

I have never been the type to dream of a big wedding in fact the idea of it has always been more of a nightmare. Everyone in my family has huge weddings and nearly everyone attends. I hate being the center of attention...I could really use some suggestions, anything. Thanks!

Answer 1

I tried to Elope and when we told them we were going to Hawaii to get married they invited them selves...but only 15 pple (we also had a reception thrown for us when we got back - so if you elope just do it UNDERCOVER :p

Good Luck and have fun!

Answer 2

go and elope, then to satisfy everyone have a mini wedding as more of a celebration

Answer 3

vegas and a party after the deed is done (family cookout?)

Answer 4

First set yourself a budget and stick with it.  Follow the guest list rule.  Stick to your guns you can't please everyone so why not please yourself.

Answer 5

just elope

OR

have a destination wedding (unless your whole family is well off - not many will dish out teh cash for hotel, airfare and gift)

OR

elope and have an informal party afterwards

Answer 6

Well, a friend of mine was having a similar experience. Her finacee's mother and her mother kept adding more and more people to the guest list, my friend became more and more stressed out and uncomfortable. Finally, she convinced her fiancee to just elope because it was turning out to be too uncomfortable for her to think about all the attention she was going to get, to the point she wasn't sleeping at the thought of all those eyes staring at her.

You have to do what is right and comfortable for you. I wouldn't worry too much about family being insulted, some of them might be relieved that they don't have to attend another wedding, buy a new outfit, get an expensive gift, travel expenses, get their hair, nails, etc done, hire a sitter, or think about bringing unruly kids, etc.

Answer 7

I can understand where you are coming from.. My family wanted me to have the big wedding and I didnt want i either.. So I planned my wedding in Vegas.. I am from NC.. My husband is from FL.. so instead of having the wedding where everyone could attend we planned it in Vegas..and only a few attended.. Much less hassle and we had our honeymoone while we were there.. In the end.. my wedding was beautiful... and Vegas payed for it all.. We even go to take in a show without paying.. Good luck..  

Answer 8

Elope, you'll be happier.  We had a pretty large wedding and my husband mom just kept inviting more people.....  Ugh, wedding a stressful and $$ and the bigger the wedding the worst it is.

Answer 9

In my case, my guy would invite 200 of his closest family and friends and I am inviting only a handful.  I hate that type of attention as well. We agreed on inviting only 30 people.  As far as I'm concerned, so long as his mom is there, it's up to him to decide who else in his family he wants (conveniently, we are inviting only those visiting during the holidays).  

My suggestion is to decide on a maximum number.  Don't invite children and stick with only those who are CLOSEST to you, not who is most closely related.  Just let your mom know that you have a strict budget and  can't go over it, so small wedding is all you want.

Answer 10

First of all, you don't necessarily have to have a big fancy wedding just b/c the families are big.  

Second, if you feel that your families will pressure you to have one or criticize you for not having one, then I would suggest hiring a seasoned planner/coordinator to help you.  They can be a great ally against unwanted advice and criticism!  Tell them your wants and fears and enlist them to stand with you and your fiance against the nay-sayers.

You can still invite all the family only to the wedding.  Have it in a park or other outdoor area where you don't have to come down an aisle; you can just both walk up to the officiant and begin the service.  You don't even have to have attendants!  Then ask everyone to join you at your fave restaurant (still may have to reserve the room there) for a celebration meal!  It doesn't have to be any bigger than that!

If you truly want a private ceremony, then go to the courthouse.  Later you can have a reception only with the families.

You can't please everyone sweetie, trust me!  Try not to overtly offend anyone, do the wedding your way, and that's the best you can hope for!

Good luck! And if you happen to be in the Arkansas/Memphis area, I'd love to help you! E-mail me!

Answer 11

Have a small wedding, with parents and siblings only. It's your wedding so you can do whatever you want. If soemone gets upset, tell them that they had their day, this one is yours!