How can you help a 1 1/2 year old cope with your pending divorce?

Question

I won't bore you with the details but my wife and I have split up, I really did not want the divorce but not much I can do. I have our son most of the time right now, when he comes home from his Mom's house he is very irritable and cries a lot for his mom. I know he loves me as he is excited to see me and excited to go home, but when we get home he wants his mom. It is tearing my heart out.

Answer 1

all 1 1/2 year olds want their moms.........but they need their dads....be upbeat, happy and hang in there; love your child more than you despise your soon to be ex.....your son needs both of his parents forever and always.....

Answer 2

It doesn't matter if he is 1 or 11 he is expressing his feelings and the best you can do is hug him and assure him that his mother loves him as you do.

Please protect yourself, if you haven't already and get custody papers in order so you can preserve this precious bond you have.

Answer 3

A child that young would even understand what divorce means.

Answer 4

oh my, it makes me want to cry to read this. i'm sorry for your both. this is why divorce sucks, but i understand sometimes you have no choice. all i can think of is to assure him of the next visit, like, "tomorrow we'll see mommy" or "tuesday we'll see mommy" even if he doesn't know what tuesday is. you could have your ex make a recording. reading a story or singing a lullaby and make that a routine. not to dwell on mommy or the fact that she isn't there..but babies like a routine and since you can't provide mom you can say lets hear the mommy song/story! in an upbeat way.

and then go on to something else that you two can do together.

i don't know, it's just a thought.

divorced mom of four

Answer 5

I'm sorry about the situation but at this time he's just confused because he's used to seeing you two together. That's changing and unfortunately you're going to have to let him cry it out. I'd try and see if letting him see her picture would sooth him, but other than allowing time to adjust to this new situation, there really isn't much more you can do other than love him and be there to hold him as he cries.

Answer 6

He will be okay. :) He will learn the routine and he;ll be just fine.

Just support him as you have been and just keep positive around him, especially about his mom, even if you aren't getting along.