How can you make your adult child share money responsibility and houshold chores?

Question

My 20 yrs old son refuses to help me pay the bills and groceries expense. He also doesn't care to fix things around the house, He's working, makes good money. I live on Social Security. He's living with me. I cook and do the laundry for him. I fix things that go wrong. I mow the lawn and clean up outside and inside.. How can I make him become a better son instead of kicking him out of the house?

Answer 1

i dont know why you asking me?

Answer 2

Throw him out.  Maybe he will see how good he has it!!!

Answer 3

The transition to adulthood can be difficult for many, especially if they are comfortable where they are.  Since he essentially lives 'at home,' nothing as changed from his childhood, for him.  I believe that you may have more success by sitting down with him and breaking down the figures.  E.g. explain to him how much you spend a month to pay the bills, feed the people in the house, etc.  Also explain to him what living on a fixed income means.  Hopefully, you will be able to show him that, as an adult, he needs to make a contribution to the household.

Answer 4

threaten to kick him out...he is an adult and needs to act like one...he is taking advantage of you and he knows it..be the mom and lay down the law. if he not going to college then i would get mean...

Answer 5

Go on strike.  Stop cooking, doing his laundry or running his errands (I know you do).  I know that you don't want to kick him out of the house, but tell him that if he is going to use the house as a "flop house" then you are going to charge him accordingly and he can either pay with chores, cash or leave.

Answer 6

Hi, I was an extremely responsible daughter who has refused to live at home with mom and dad. I feel I turned out that way because at a very early age I was forced to take care of myself. Like, starting in high school I got job and started paying for all my own needs. Then, as time passed I was required by mother to contribute to the house while going to college. Basically, I was made to help or I knew I might as well move out. Mom would ***** at you so much I just couldn't take it.  I did what she said to have peace! (Hint hint).

Now, my parents would do anything for me to move back. I was always good to them and helped them so much. Most of all- they're lonely without me. I can tell your going through the same thing. You love your son so much and can't bear for him to move away- but he's taking advantage of your love and not doing his part. My brother is 47 years old and doing that right now to my parents. I think you need to crack the whip down on him as much as you fear to. You need to do it (just like I told my parents to do with brother). What will he do when your gone? He needs to start preparing. That's exactly why I won't move back. I want to sometimes-especially when my second husband makes me mad.  I worry about my brother (mainly because I don't want him piling in on me after mother is gone.) So, I think that's what you need to do. I know it's easier said then done (I really know because my son talks of joining the military after high school and I'm like - h**l no your not!) We both have to do it though...

Answer 7

Tell him he has to pay rent, if he refuses tell him you'll kick him out. You have to be willing to kick him out though, if he sees you mean what you say he will probably choose to pay rent instead. You'll be doing him more harm than good if you continue to let him be lazy with no financial responsibilities.