How can you make your friend realize that you already feel abused by his or her deeds, without telling it?

Question

i have a friend who continuously asks favor from me, whether in simple matters and even money matters. at times i feel she's becoming too much. is it only my attitude or is she really taking advantage, i don't know. i'm afraid to tell her how i feel because i know she'd get mad and even tell me i'm being unwilling to help. i just feel she's been asking for too much. i also have my limits.

Answer 1

i know how you feel i have a friends that do the same.but sometimes you just got to tell em no you cant do it with no hesitation in your voice.i do that with my friends and we still remain friends.so that now when i help him.later on when i need help he does the same for me.

Answer 2

Tell her how u feel...

and if she gets pissed about it, she is a bi**h  

Answer 3

you have every right to feel the way you do. those are your feelings own them. tell her you feel like she is asking for to much. you are not her parent you dont owe her nything, she has to take care of her ownself, so what if she gets mad, you have to take care of yourself physically mentally and emotionally.

Answer 4

well yes i have a friend like this too......he always abuses me when he feels like i'm doing better htan him, but the abusing is 10x worse almost, if I'm doing worse......unfortunately i've seemed to have acquired the same problem--sucks doesn't it??

maybe you should end the friendship....sounds terrible.

Answer 5

A few things I have learned about friendships over the years is that the best ones are when a friend only ask for something really minor on rare occasions, and on a even rarer occasion for a major favor.  And when they ask for a favor, they offer something in return.

Having a good line of communications in a friendship and respect for the other person is what makes a friendship last over time.

Sounds like your "friend" is rather high maintenance, once you stop the maintenance she will find a new "friend".  The next time she asks for money, consider asking to use something of hers in return for the money favor, until she can pay you back.  Make sure it worth more than the money you are lending, to ensure you either get your money back, or you have something you feel comfortable about if the money is not returned. If she gets mad at the arrangement, tell her she is not being fair, after all you have needs and wants also, and it is only fair for her to give you something in return.

I wish you the best.

Answer 6

No, only she or he can get mad! You should give 'it' your check book, bank card and car. Lord knows you don't want a good friend like this mad at you.

Answer 7

Go with your gut. Just filter away from her. Don't invite conversations or activities with her. When she asks why, just say...Because That's where I am at!!! It is nice enough to not explain. If she is over baring about it then just say you have decided that things in your life have gotten out of control and you are changing things, If she IS your friend she will say ok. REALLY! If she isn't she will make rumors and lie about you. Do you want her to be the friend you really want??? Think about it.

Answer 8

When she asks for money say you need it for something else and that she needs to make her own money. When she needs a favor, make up and excuse. She just sounds like a moocher. If she thinks you won't give in, then she'll find someone else.

Answer 9

Sharks always come to where the fishermen throw over the unwanted parts of the fish.

If you give her what she wants, she'll come back.  You have to tell her.

Be direct but respectful.

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