How can you say no marriage without hurting that person are feeling like your making a mistake ?

Question

my ex and i are getting back togther but instead of being bf and gf were deciding to get married but my heart is somewhere else and i dont know what to do so please tell me how can i get him to understand i'm not ready for marriage

Answer 1

"my ex and i are getting back togther but instead of being bf and gf were deciding to get married but my heart is somewhere else and i dont know what to do"

Duh! Really it does not take an Einstein to work that one out!

Answer 2

Be honest with him. Tell him you are not ready for it yet. Thats one reason why people get engaged first and then decide on a wedding date later. Its almost like you are testing out the water.  

Answer 3

Say you will think about it. If he gives you time, think of everything you've done with him. Make a list. Count how many bad things he's done. If it's over 6 things you should think about that.

Answer 4

Both of you need to sit down and talk.  Be honest with each other before getting back together.  It will hurt him alot more if you get involved and have no desire for marriage and he does.  Make sure that you both are on the same page before going into this.  Be completely honest as to why you are not ready...your fears...and if you are emotionally unavailable then you need to tell him that too.  It is not fair to lead someone into believing that you are with them if you are not.  This is marriage here...not dating.   Be truthful.

Good Luck

Answer 5

Just say NO!

Answer 6

You flat out state, "I'm not ready & if you push this I will walk out the door never to return!"  

Never be so insecure to lose yourself to someone else...  

Answer 7

The cold hard truth honey is those of us who are weak minded and fool-hearted will suffer for our weakness, there will be no salvation like in the movies.

So unless you want this kind of life, you better start being first, honest with yourself and then honest with those close to you. There is no silver bullet here on Yahoo that will fix your life, it's all on you.

Answer 8

If you have even an ounce of brains in your head, you will get out of this relationship right away. I don't mean that to be a jerk. It's the God-honest truth. If he wants to get married and you do not, it is a huge mistake. You don't have the same goals. You don't have the same desires. This is a big divorce or otherwise nasty breakup waiting to happen.

Besides, the truth is this: it didn't work out before. What makes you think it is going to work out now? Because you promised to get married? Big mistake.

If your heart is somewhere else, then the smartest thing you can do is to break up again, and let him go. Permanently. Avoid him. Keep yourself busy. Have fun with your friends. Get some exercise. And just wait. When you are ready, you will find someone right for you. You'll know him when you don't feel like you have to come on here and ask us about it. I guarantee it.

Good luck!

Answer 9

You did not last as bf and gf but are deciding to just jump into marriage instead? Is the person who thought of that insane???

Clearly you had issues as simply bf and gf. Those issues have likely not changed...and being married to someone for any length of time is going to be like turing the volume up to 11 on those issues - what annoyed you is now going to make you insanely aggravated. They aren't going to get suddenly better.  

Tell the ex no - and if they take it the wrong way than so be it. It is much easier to part ways as bf/gf then husband/wife.