How can you say what you want without sounding demanding?

Question

How can you say what you want without sounding demanding?

Answer 1

Be clear and concise in what you are saying, explain yourself the best you can in as much detail. Don't be nervous and speak the truth. Don't be affraid.

Answer 2

Spend time thinking about your argument before you make it. Having a strategy is great, but you're not always going to have that kind of time. If you're in the middle of a discussion and wish to make your point known, take a moment to think of an assertive and polite way of making your point. Tone of voice and wording is important. Yelling, being bossy, or purposely instigating an argument doesn't get the point across, especially if you're arguing with a know-it-all. Mentally step back, take a deep breath, and consider how your viewpoint might sound.

Answer 3

Sometimes it's no so much what you say, but how you say it.  When you speak, try not to sound too emotional.  It has been my experience that I get farther when I speak in an even, unemotional tone of voice.

Answer 4

Articulation, tact and diplomacy. Sensitivity, courtesy, and love.

Answer 5

Say it with conviction.

Answer 6

It's a toss up.  Do you want to be heard or do you want to be taken care of.  The squeaky wheel gets the grease.

Answer 7

Use a lower tone of voice.

Answer 8

Here are a few suggestions Ms Jai,

Soften the tone of your voice when you make a request.

Instead of "demanding" something "ask" for something.

Carefully choose your words, so that it doesn't sound like a command, but still gets you the results you are looking for. :)

Compliment them first. Say, "I really like the way you ____ , could you ____ for me." :)

As another responder mentioned, start your request with "Would you please . . ."

Or say, "I'd really like it if you would . . ."  or "It would really help me if . . ."

Or say, "Lets work on this ____ (task) together, and when we're done, I'll take you to ____ (one of their favorite activities).

And then use lots of praise and rewards when they accomplish your wishes.  This will motivate them further when you make your next request of them. :)

Answer 9

Adding a "please" at the end of it all lol.

Answer 10

By being tactful. Be respectful of the other, but also confident in knowing yourself and what you feel you want. List reasons and goals.

Silly example, but....Instead of saying "I want to stay up one hour later then my normal bedtime" say "I feel I am old enough to stay awake an additional hour because (list reasons) and would appreciate if you would consider this."

You are stating what you want, but also listing reasons, showing maturity and independence, but not acting like a 5 year old in saying "I WANT this".

Answer 11

I think what you mean is, how can you be demanding and hide it.

Because if you aren't demanding, you won't have the problem of sounding demanding.  If you have that problem, it's because you're demanding.

You may be able to couch your demands in such a way as to hide your demanding, at least in some situations, because other people are doing the same thing.  This amounts to social co-dependency.  You use me, I'll use you.

But ultimately the only way to say what you want without sounding demanding is to stop being demanding.