How can you stay married to someone that you don't trust?

Question

My husband has lied to me too much for me to be able to trust him blindly anymore. These are not little everyday lies, these are huge lies that he says he has "changed his mind". I can never believe what he says anymore because I never know when he will change his mind again. His word is worth nothing to me. We have a son together and have been married for almost 5 years. I haven't trusted him for about 2 years out of the 5. He doesn't really care that I don't trust him and thinks that no matter what he does I should still trust him because I am his wife. I want a divorce, I can't handle the ups and downs that we go threw every couple of weeks. Is this normal? Should I keep fighting, I don't think that I can anymore. Please help.

Answer 1

I don't blame you for wanting a divorce.  It would be hard to get anything done with a person who constantly changes their mind.  

Answer 2

If you're through, then you're through.

If you want to keep this marriage up, seek help.  Seek a marriage counsellor - that's the most you can ever do realistically.

Otherwise, seek out a good divorce lawyer.

If you're not happy - your kids will be the ones that suffer.

Answer 3

You CANT!

Answer 4

You can't. If you have no honesty, you cannot carry a relationship. And if you think you can, you aren't being honest with yourself.

Answer 5

1st 5 yrs of marriage is the worst part. it eases up after. thats what i heard.  personally i think its bullS***. if ur not happy, move on

Answer 6

first of all love is trust so if u don't trust him this means u can't love him

then try to change him it worth cuz u have son together and it's bad for this innocent child to live in broken family..

so u have to think many many times befor u end ur relation with him..

good luck

Answer 7

Seek legal counsel and get out.  No need to put you or your son through this.  Terrible role model... And trust is blind it is earned.  And he is in the negative on the trust account.  Get out and feel the ups come and the downs go!!

Answer 8

I believe love is base on trust, because when you love someone you gave them everything you are...when you lose the trust you lose it all and specially your marriage...i don't think you should fight for this marriage anymore its been 2 years of untrust and nothing has change...what makes you think it might get better...

Besides you should teach your soon the value of trust...he'll be fine if you guys divorce....good luck...

Answer 9

You have wasted more than enough time on this incorrigible lout of a lying husband. You don't deserve it anymore so make your move now and file for a divorce. Life is too short as it is and you deserve to go through it with someone you can believe in.  

Answer 10

Keep fighting and try to keep the family in place for your child. He has to prove to you he is trustworthy by his actions. Nonetheless you cannot break up with him for your childs sake. Unless he is physically or mentally abusive to you or your child you have to stay in it. If he remains untrustworthy get yourself a boyfriend on the side but know that it will just be a boyfriend until your child turns 18 then you can get a divorce.

Answer 11

you married this man, you have a child together, you made a vow to him.  supposedly its supposed to be the hardest in a marriage for the first 7 years.  why don't you and your husband try marriage counseling and if that doesn't work overv time then get the divorce.  but remember you have a child and your son can be torn by this.  think of him