How can you stop hating yourself?

Question

I have recently been the victim of a particulary vicious bully at work. Even though I went into a meeting with my tormentor (with other people present), I found out that I am a complete coward and not for the first time. I now loathe myself because if I had had the guts to really stick up for myself I would have felt so hurt and vulnerable. How do I get over this?

Answer 1

I have been in this situation and had a person who was bullying everyone in the office and i have always been the outspoken confident one so I took it upon myself to be spokes person for everyone and voice "our" opinions in a meeting, however when I told the said person exactly what we thought of them I turned to my fellow staff for support and guess what ? not one person backed me up, they all looked down and hung me out to dry, so the moral of the storey is damed if i do damed if I dont. Stop beating yourself up its not you thats got the problem x

Answer 2

I suggest you to have self-confidence with yourself so you can get over this and fight for your rights when you are being abuse by other people around you... Good Luck! God Bless!  

Answer 3

Get a new Job and forget the past.

Answer 4

p**s in his coffee

Answer 5

By learning to love yourself!

Answer 6

Tell us what happened and we can help! Don't be frightened.

I know what you mean though people can be so selfish and nasty

Answer 7

Wasp, you are the most amazing human being alive! Roll in there and kick off big style!

Most Companies are so afraid of empowering bullies they will quickly roll over and take your side as long as you STICK-UP for yourself!

You are so worth it!

Please take courage and beat your demons!

Who-ever is bullying you is scum and the company will have to back you or face some SERIOUS consequences, when you sue their asses!

Answer 8

First is to look to God, and see how He sees you. He sent His Son for you, to save you from eternal condemnation. He loves you so much that He gave the greatest gift of all gifts you could receive. Second, leave that place where you have been bullied. Ask for God's guidance, or a friend for advice. But more or less, you should leave that place. Third, improve yourself so that you can build your self confidence. Go on a diet, exercise (may be jogging at the start, or enroll in a gym). Fourth, find a group of friends or a friend where you can spend some of your time. because the absence of support will make you feel alone & vulnerable. Don't forget to extend your friendship & love to others also, because in this way, you can understand the situation of others & so lessen your burden, and also, they will in turn show love & friendship to others & to you. in this way, you had helped your community, etc. 5th, try to have some few pleasure, like watching a good movie or VCD or DVD (be sure it is wholesome, so that you will not feel guilty). 6th, you can keep in touch with yahoo answers, who will always be on your side, if you have questions... or to me if you want a friend on internet...

Answer 9

First of all! you need to realise its not only you who is in this situation and that thousands follow suit. Secondly you dont have to get over anything because you feel you let your self down because you didnt have the guts to stick up for yourself in the meeting!

Personally! i would confront your bully and tell him/her to back off.  The reason why this does continue sadly is because he/she thinks you are weak and vulnerable person to pick on and will continue to do so.

Sooo you need to act!! or your at risk of being bullied everyday.  Your bully is a tormentor and thrives on it sadly! he/she does what they do best to break you down into thinking your nothing when its allways the opposite its them who are nothing.  So do whats best for your self and stick up for yourself for a change.

Answer 10

Why would you let this happen?   Stop it!   If you think that's how you deserve to be treated in life then that's the way it will be.   Straighten up and stand up for yourself.   If you don't you are making the choice to be stepped on and bullied and you will never respect yourself for letting it happen.    You have the guts - we all do!!   Look the bully in the eye and speak your mind directly without anger - you can.  STAND UP FOR YOURSELF RIGHT!  Even if it means you get a different job.  YOu will be happy you did.

Answer 11

Find it in yourself to stick up for yourself.  This will sooo work!  Once bullies realise that you're not afraid of them, they usually back off and attempt to bully their next victim.

how sad these people are to carry on this sort of behaviour after childhood!!

If you're unable to stick up for yourself, then the best option is to ignore them.  Perhaps try to find another job if you're not happy.

You could always try to talk to your boss - but this is probably not an option if they get on well with the people that are bullying you.

But hey girl don't hate yourself these people doing the bullying are doing it because deep down they hate themselves!  Let them get on and be miserable and gossip about others.  It really doesn't get them anywhere and you will find that the majority of people out there find this sort of behaviour totally unacceptable.

But just to let you know you're not alone.  I've had many groups of women try and bully me because I appear a quiet person.  How shocked they are when I bite back.  A quick sharp long up and down normally works.  Or turning your nose up at them.  And the best is staring them out as they're working past.  Or any witty sarcastic comments work well!!

Good Luck!  XX but don't worry too much, it really is just child's play!!!

Answer 12

Don't allow yourself to be a victim. Speak up for yourself!

Answer 13

Try as hard as you can to stick up for yourself, it may hurt at first- then you'll get your confidence back..