How close is too close for a STUDENT TEACHER RELATIONSHIP?

Question

Is it normal for a professor (in college) to be talking online to his students about non-school topics? You go to conferences together (for school) and he comes and drinks in the room with the students is this appropriate? You have seen him drunk several times, he has told you personal stories from his past, you go out to play poker (in a group) every week... is any of that wrong? Does it make a difference if he is married?

Answer 1

I don't have such a huge problem with talking with students about non-school things.  That just is a sociable person who is connecting on a different level with students, I dont' see a problem there.  The issue for me is the drinking with and playing poker with students.  It's one thing to say, I was playing poker the other day in conversation to your students, and a completely different to actually gamble with the students.  As a teacher, I would hope that no student would ever see me drunk.  I think that compromises my professionalism.  I don't think it's a huge thing if they see me at a restaurant with my wife and we both have a glass of wine or something, but to openly go and drink with the students, not so good.  I think that professor needs to re-evaluate the way they go about things.

Answer 2

I don't think it is wrong for him to go to conferences with you or to have a weekly poker game involving a number of people.  The personal stories, if not TOO personal, might be okay, and while I'm not crazy about the online chat, it may not be too bad if he does this with everyone.  The regular drinking in a hotel room and drunkenness are completely out of line.  Most of my colleagues either make a decision NOT to drink anything in the presence of students, or they will go with the group for the first drink and then excuse themselves.  It sets a bad example if the professor drinks heavily, and it causes him to lose control of the situation.  He could easily do something he would seriously regret or be accused of doing something against which he couldn't defend himself.

I don't think it much matters (other than to his wife) if he is married or not.  If he IS married, what the heck is he doing hanging out drinking with students?  If not, he needs to draw the lines more clearly.  He is NOT one of the students.  If he is older and this is his social life, this is pretty creepy.  If he is young, then he is just making it far too easy either for him or for a student to cross the line.

Answer 3

If you're a grad student, that's normal.  I was involved in the faculty poker game as a grad student at my last school. It's actually quite common for professors and grad students to develop friendships outside of the university.  One of my closest friends is my former teacher.  We always hook up for a drink if we're at the same conference.

It sounds like you think your professor wants into your pants though.  If that's the case, you may want to start setting up some boundaries.

Answer 4

One of the best Prof.s I ever had behaved this way.

He was a buddy, as well as a mentor.

As long as there's no inappropriate physical intimacy,

it's not wrong for there to be a close personal

relationship with his students, particularly if it's

always, (as you seem to say), in a group.

It's one way of doing his job, and a good one.

I worked harder for  that course because I liked

the atmosphere, and didn't want to let him, or

the rest of the group, down.

Answer 5

Well, difficult to answer.

I had a music professor who would invite students to his home for dinner with his wife and kids. He would have class in the cafeteria sometimes in the Spring when it was nice.

I had A high school teacher who would talk to his kids when they graduated on the internet.

I know a teacher who was fired from a school because she slept with a student, allegedly. She had their phone numbers in her cellphone and all the kids would text her all of the time.

Personally, I take groups of kids to lunch if we have a field trip. I have driven a kid home once with permission from the mother when she couldn't pick him up, and they signed a waver.

I've let kids come into my room during lunch but keep the door open. There's a hands off policy with me, and I do hand out my e-mail to students, but only to turn in homework/assignments or to tell me if they're going to be absent.

I think that showing students that you're a drunk on college message boards is unprofessional and could get him in some hot water.

Answer 6

if hes not married i think its OK, of he is that might be kinda weird because if i were the wofe i would feel uncomfortable with my husband being around attactive college girls.

im in 9th grade, ive hugged my engligh techer, and we played twister a couple of times. some teachers are just more comfortable about that stuff, nothing wrong with techers/students to be friends.

Answer 7

I think that it is unprofessional and can lead to entanglements that compromise his / or her position as a professor. A professor, instructor, or teacher's objective is to assist you in educating yourself - in particular in the areas of academics and critical thinking.

Hanging out and drinking / chatting online about non academic issues / playing poker are not the thing to do with students.

That is my opinion on the matter. I would assume that the college administration (his or her supervisors) would feel the same.

A parent who sends their child to college to gain knowledge and experiences (thus paying quite a bit of money) - something tells me the would not be happy with the college professor hanging out with their child like they are peers. Thus a call would be made to the University President or Provost in regard to this matter...leading to problems for that professor.

Answer 8

Is it NORMAL? Good god,  WHAT IS NORMAL!!! The envelope is really being pushed. The "conferences" and "drinks" are WAY out of bounds. Doesn't really make alot of difference about the married part. He's putting his teaching career on the line. and If he likes play the game, then he'll love the consequences of it.