How close is too close in a friendship?

Question

I started a new job last year and made some lovely friends. One of my male colleagues has become one of my closest friends over the past year. We have so much in common and we are really happy together. We share laughs with friends and we also share comfortable moments of silence. I really treasure our friendship very much and am scared of losing it. The thing is, lately he has been sending me these signals that he likes me more than just a friend e.g. he always tries to get my attention when i am quiet and he always gets defensive every time I am being lectured by my boss, which he never used to do before. He always gets agitated with those who upset me, but I feel that it's really not necessary for him to do this. I am currently recovering from a previous relationship that I suffered from emotionally and I am not looking for another relationship anytime soon. He has been a really good friend, but I can sense that he is falling for me more and more and he keeps wanting to get closer, but I won't let him. There is one other major thing that's stopping me and that is the fact that he is with the company owner's daughter and they are expecting a child soon. I can tell you now, regardless of the problems the problems he may have with his partner, I am no family breaker. Especially, when he is my good friend. I don't want to loose his friendship, I love him too much.

From what other colleagues have said, apparently he only met his partner 1 year ago and she has been putting pressure on him to have a baby and buy their house and get married. They are due to be married next year. Apparently, his previous relationship also ended very badly (another thing we have in common). I have no doubt that he is my soul mate. I truly love and respect him as he does me and I would never hurt him or his family.

I keep refusing to get closer to him, but its been so difficult. Its actually beginning to affect my health. I don't know what to do. We both talk to each other but we don't talk about our feelings about each other ever. This is too awkward. I've even tried to ignore him a couple of times but he just keeps trying to get my attention. It's becoming really tough. What should I do?

Answer 1

If this weight on your shoulders is affecting you to the point that it affects your health, then you need to do something about it!!  I think you should just talk to him and tell him how you're feeling. Tell him everything you just wrote, like how you don't want to lose his friendship, you don't want to interfere with his family, etc.  If he is no doubt your soul mate like you said he is, then you need to make some actions to get things cleared.

Answer 2

Maybe in all the pressure that his partner is putting on him he needs someone to get close to, or an escape (that would be you). It may seem the way you said, he likes you, but don't jump to conclusions because you can be totally wrong. Only when he makes a move, or says so himself can you be sure, so for now I wouldn't read too much into it.